# rules **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491 "2001-03-11T01:08:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/81 "2001-03-12T04:50:14Z")
When someone tells you to stick your hand into moving machinery and is not willing to do so themself, do not trust them. When merging onto an expressway from a stop sign, look in front of you _before_ you press the gas pedal to the floor, not after. Even if the car in front of you started to move and had plenty of time… ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/82 "2001-03-12T04:59:23Z")
Let’s just call this one 82 **82.** Don’t try to make yourself a martyr. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/83 "2001-03-12T05:01:57Z")
Never send a note to one of your girlfriend’s best friends indicating that you might possibly have made a mistake when you hooked up with your GF, and that you’d rather be with her (the friend) instead. They WILL talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Jalapeno\_On\_A\_Stick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Jalapeno\_On\_A\_Stick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jalapeno_On_A_Stick)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/84 "2001-03-12T05:33:42Z")
Assume the waiter at the Mexican Restaurant is not lieing when he tells you the plate is hot. \ ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/85 "2001-03-12T05:34:07Z")
Never attempt to strain pasta wearing only a bra and panties Never ride a tricycle with roller skates on Never say, “I never get pulled over”, because you will, within 24 hours of comment. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/86 "2001-03-12T06:00:42Z")
Do not, in the presence of any female, when the conversation is getting loud, say the words "I used to be . . . " followed by any word that could conceivably be misheard or misinterpreted to mean “fat”. ---
**Author:** ![LCP2972](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@LCP2972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LCP2972)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/87 "2001-03-12T07:17:06Z")
86.(I checked the post count,)The fastest way off the second floor is not neccesarily the best. ---
**Author:** ![LCP2972](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@LCP2972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LCP2972)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/88 "2001-03-12T07:19:12Z")
1. never, under any circumstance trust a friend who is wmiling more than is their wont. ---
**Author:** ![LCP2972](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@LCP2972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LCP2972)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/89 "2001-03-12T07:20:17Z")
87.when some one tells you, "I don’t know anything about computers, believe them. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/90 "2001-03-12T07:29:31Z")
1. Don’t skip class for a month and a half and even HOPE to pass. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/91 "2001-03-12T11:46:43Z")
- When the boss is approaching your desk and you frantically press alt-tab to get a screen that looks like you’re working, it’s perfectly obvious to **everyone** what you’re doing. - The words “I’ll do you a copy of that photo you really like, i promise” are always lies, damn lies. - Don’t buy the mango. You’ll never eat it. Fran ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/92 "2001-03-12T12:41:23Z")
If disassembling a disposable camera, do not assume that the capacitor is fully discharged, even if the battery is removed. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/93 "2001-03-12T13:15:49Z")
Don’t try to stump someone with trivia unless you know the answer. “I don’t know either” is never a valid answer. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/94 "2001-03-12T13:42:00Z")
#106: When you finally get that date with the woman of your dreams, don’t take her to see “Halloween”. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/95 "2001-03-12T15:39:34Z")
#107 Never, under any circumstances, say, write, or even think the words, “I’m bored.” God hears you. OH SHIT! ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/96 "2001-03-12T15:55:50Z")
#108: **Never** tell your boss that you’re all caught up on your projects. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/97 "2001-03-12T16:23:41Z")
1. The Law of the Laboratory: Hot glass looks just like cold glass. 2. Do not walk across a room containing face-down CRTs in the dark. 3. Do not assume that, just because you have discharged a CRT, the CRT is in fact discharged. 4. Upon disobeying rule 111, override the shock and dive for cover. Implosions are not our friends. 5. When a flyback transformer hisses (Note: This is distinct from sizzling), it is angry and preparing to try to kill you. Duck. 6. When diving out of the way of a Fireball, choose an escape route not overgrown with poison ivy and vampire vines. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/98 "2001-03-12T16:54:15Z")
1. Do not drink ALL the beers. Unknown injury may occur. NOTE: Just a quick reminder that **inor** ’s ONLY rule was that you post only one rule at a time. Makes the counting go easier. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/99 "2001-03-13T13:33:31Z")
When your trying to get the grill going, and it’s not, and your “friends” say “maybe if you put more lighter fluid on it, it’ll start”…well don’t pour the lighter fluid on. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/100 "2001-03-13T13:35:13Z")
Related but not the same… Not everything marked “Danger. Flammable” make for a good charcoal lighter fluid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491.md?page=6)