# Rumsfeld has a monkey in him? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 26, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479 "2004-03-26T01:34:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/1 "2004-03-26T01:34:03Z")
I was just watching some show on Rumsfeld on TV and one of his longtime friends noted that Rumsfeld “has a little monkey in him.” This immediately brought a couple of questions to mind: 1. Doesn’t that hurt? 2. How’d it get there and how’s it getting out? 3. Is Rumsfeld, like a pregnant woman, “eating for two?” 4. Is having a monkey in you worse than having a monkey on your back? 5. What’s the monkey say about this? Oh well, at least it’s a little monkey. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/2 "2004-03-26T02:31:46Z")
At least it’s little… and on the inside. His boss, on the other hand, has a serious problem. [http://www.bushorchimp.com/](http://www.bushorchimp.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/3 "2004-03-26T02:45:58Z")
Moving this to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/4 "2004-03-26T17:37:19Z")
Has anybody seen Michael Jackson’s monkey lately? Has Rummy attended any raids at Neverland? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/5 "2004-03-26T17:42:50Z")
Maybe they were talking about 70’s chinese kid’s show “Monkey”? I’d be mightily impressed at Rumsfelds ability to whistle down a cloud. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/6 "2004-03-26T17:59:41Z")
Maybe his vow to respect the Bill of Rights the day monkeys fly out of his butt is really a pathetic cry for help. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/7 "2004-03-26T19:50:39Z")
A few months back a banned member briefly returned under the sock puppet **A Evil Monkey Lives in My Head**. Does this mean Mr. Rumsfeld is really The Grapist ? ! ? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/8 "2004-03-26T23:31:54Z")
Is the monkey running around with his hair on fire? ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-has-a-monkey-in-him/236479/9 "2004-03-27T02:58:21Z")
I want a [trunk monkey.](http://www.milkandcookies.com/article/2297/)