# Rumsfeld wears iced underwear for uncontrollable erections **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 17, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154 "2006-05-17T20:22:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/1 "2006-05-17T20:22:21Z")
I don’t believe a word of [this](http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1845896), but it’s pretty hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/2 "2006-05-17T21:03:41Z")
Looks like someone decided to put together “99 Little-Known Facts About the Bush Administration.” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/3 "2006-05-17T21:09:08Z")
The person’s a pretty good writer, at the very least. Assuming those bits aren’t plagiarized. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/4 "2006-05-17T21:51:57Z")
I’m pretty sure it’s not plagiarized. An article about that SA forum post appeared in the Opinions section of Yahoo News a few weeks back. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/5 "2006-05-17T22:32:29Z")
Nothing on Snopes about the rumors yet…they must be true! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/6 "2006-05-17T23:13:50Z")
> [@This Dude on SA.com](#): > > Donald Rumsfeld needs to wear iced underwear because of some medical condition, and he has his secret service detail hold his spares. He was recently getting uncontrollable long-term erections and had to change up his medical treatments. The underwear and the erections is why he uses a standing desk, not because he is some super-man. He also wears nylon stockings, not because he’s gay, but to control some vascular problem with his legs which causes him intense pain. What they’re not telling us is that SecDef was compelled to filch a pair of intensely used nylons from [Victoria Clarke](http://homepage.mac.com/agraham999/iblog/B652642334/C1357654378/E1572826127/)’s desk after his own pair ran badly before a cabinet meeting, and got to liking the whole sensual experience so much that after the vascular problem cleared up he decided not to tell anybody, but instead arranged for Ms. Clarke to leave the DoD for a lucrative “private sector” job which consists basically of wearing (but not washing) about eighteen pairs of nylons each week and sending them by military courier to the Pentagon in a pouch marked TOP SECRET. Need I explain the uncontrollable long-term erections? I didn’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/7 "2006-05-18T13:55:20Z")
I’m not so sure it’s BS. Read his posts [here](http://www.fatladysings.us/the_fat_lady_sings/2006/04/truth_or_fictio.html#more). My brother used to work in CHOB when Ridge was there, and still has friends there, I’ll see what his take is, but it seems to me that a lot of the stuff rigs true. ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/8 "2006-05-18T14:58:17Z")
[The cheese anecdote may be true.](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0374406278/002-2533719-0714438?v=glance&n=283155) ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/9 "2006-05-18T15:15:59Z")
From **Dominic Mulligan** ’s link: > [@](#): > > Editorial Reviews > From Publishers Weekly > As she did in The Hatmaker’s Sign, Fleming once again parlays a little-known historical nugget into a diverting picture book. In the late 19th century, the folks of Cheshire, Mass., a locale known for its delectable cheddar, grow mighty disgruntled when they learn that President Thomas Jefferson is offering cheese from a Connecticut town to his White House visitors. I find it vaguely dismaying that **Publisher’s Weekly** has no fucking clue that Thomas Jefferson was born on April 13, 1743 and died on July 4th, 1826. If Thomas Jefferson was President of the United States in the late “19th century” it’s news to a lot of us. :rolleyes: Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/10 "2006-05-18T21:26:17Z")
[QUOTE=NurseCarmen] I’m not so sure it’s BS. Read his posts [here](http://www.fatladysings.us/the_fat_lady_sings/2006/04/truth_or_fictio.html#more). [/QUOTE] _heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee_… :rolleyes: er, excuse me, but the constant matter-of-fact spouting of outlandish “information” makes only one thing clear, and that is that “Martin Random” is an attention-seeking jackoff. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfeld-wears-iced-underwear-for-uncontrollable-erections/357154/11 "2006-05-18T22:36:51Z")
So, er, you’re saying Condoleeza Rice doesn’t smell nice, and Dick Cheney’s breath does? Anyway, brilliant stuff, whatever the truth, or lack thereof, in it.