# Rumsfield claims a trained ape could manage war better than Obama **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 25, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547 "2014-03-25T19:48:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/1 "2014-03-25T19:48:21Z")
[http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/susan-jones/rumsfeld-us-ties-karzai-gone-downhill-toboggan-under-obama](http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/susan-jones/rumsfeld-us-ties-karzai-gone-downhill-toboggan-under-obama) Donald Rumsfield has claimed that a trained ape could manage a war better than Obama. What an outrage! That is a complete lie. There is absolutely no need for the ape to be trained. Any ape (regardless of their level of training) could run a war (as well as the entire government) better than this OBozo could. The only person who is worse than OBozo is his ridiculous idiot wife. P.S. I couldn’t decide whether to post this in the IMHO forum or in this one. I picked this one owing to the small amount of satire. I figured that the IMHO forum should be used for more serious opinions. But I suppose I could easily be wrong. I’m kind of disappointed at just how often I seem to be wrong lately. If any moderator feels that it belongs in some other forum, I would ask that they please move it wherever they feel it belongs. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/2 "2014-03-25T19:53:31Z")
I’d pay money to watch you talk shit like this to ‘OBozo’s wife’. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/3 "2014-03-25T19:53:45Z")
I Don’t know why anyone would listen to Rumsfield about anything. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/4 "2014-03-25T19:55:13Z")
This is the kind of ridiculous hyperbole that poisons discourse. You want to claim that the President is no Sun Tzu? Fine – right there with you. But no – you have to stack up ridiculous claim after ridiculous claim. I will agree with one claim you made: your post doesn’t have any of the incisive witty commentary that would typically qualify as “satire,” so your admission that satire is in short supply is entirely accurate. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/5 "2014-03-25T20:05:15Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > If any moderator feels that it belongs in some other forum, I would ask that they please move it wherever they feel it belongs. May I humbly suggest the Pit as a destination? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/6 "2014-03-25T20:05:43Z")
I thought Rumsfeld was dead. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/7 "2014-03-25T20:07:01Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > I’m kind of disappointed at just how often I seem to be wrong lately. You can add this thread to that list, it’s growing at a brisk pace it seems… ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/8 "2014-03-25T20:11:32Z")
Hey **Charlie** , I thought it was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Twoflower](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/twoflower/32/22_2.png) [@Twoflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twoflower)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/9 "2014-03-25T20:13:32Z")
This would be the same Donald Rumsfeld who oversaw letting Bin Laden escape from Tora Bora, abandoned Afghanistan to chaos before completing the mission, and masterminded the disastrous, dishonest invasion of Iraq? _That_ Donald Rumsfeld?? Wonder how a trained ape would have managed those wars… ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/10 "2014-03-25T20:20:43Z")
> [@Twoflower](#): > > This would be the same Donald Rumsfeld who oversaw letting Bin Laden escape from Tora Bora, abandoned Afghanistan to chaos before completing the mission, and masterminded the disastrous, dishonest invasion of Iraq? _That_ Donald Rumsfeld?? Wonder how a trained ape would have managed those wars… Nope. He’s talking about _Donald Rumsfield_. Completely different guy. ---
**Author:** ![racepug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@racepug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racepug)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/11 "2014-03-25T20:21:03Z")
And anybody who feels that Donald Rumsfeld has anything positive or meaningful to offer in terms of foreign policy advice should probably just recuse him- or herself from the conversation. That’s all I’m sayin’ on the matter. ---
**Author:** ![This\_Just\_In\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@This\_Just\_In\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/This_Just_In_2)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/12 "2014-03-25T20:21:18Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > I thought Rumsfeld was dead. He came back to life as a zombie in 2001. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/13 "2014-03-25T20:22:05Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Nope. He’s talking about _Donald Rumsfield_. Completely different guy. An easy mistake. You never see them together. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/14 "2014-03-25T20:26:01Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > Donald Rumsfield has claimed that a trained ape could manage a war better than Obama. I thought we agreed to stop comparing Bush and Obama. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/15 "2014-03-25T20:30:07Z")
Why does Donald Rumsfeld refuse to say whether he is or is not, in fact, one of the Lizard People? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/16 "2014-03-25T20:36:09Z")
## There’s only one place for proper responses to this. Off to the Pit it goes. **Hal Briston** - MPSIMS Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Peaton\_of\_peat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecae2f/32.png) [@Peaton\_of\_peat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peaton_of_peat)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/17 "2014-03-25T20:43:10Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > [http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/susan-jones/rumsfeld-us-ties-karzai-gone-downhill-toboggan-under-obama](http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/susan-jones/rumsfeld-us-ties-karzai-gone-downhill-toboggan-under-obama) > > Donald Rumsfield has claimed that a trained ape could manage a war better than Obama. Hate to break it to you, but we already tried that. Spoiler: it didn’t work out too well. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/18 "2014-03-25T21:08:42Z")
Could he be laying the groundwork for the next Republican nominee? “Vote Trained Ape in '16!” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/19 "2014-03-25T21:18:26Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > [http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/susan-jones/rumsfeld-us-ties-karzai-gone-downhill-toboggan-under-obama](http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/susan-jones/rumsfeld-us-ties-karzai-gone-downhill-toboggan-under-obama) > > Donald Rumsfield has claimed that a trained ape could manage a war better than Obama. > > What an outrage! That is a complete lie. > > There is absolutely no need for the ape to be trained. > > Any ape (regardless of their level of training) could run a war (as well as the entire government) better than this OBozo could. > > The only person who is worse than OBozo is his ridiculous idiot wife. > > P.S. I couldn’t decide whether to post this in the IMHO forum or in this one. I picked this one owing to the small amount of satire. I figured that the IMHO forum should be used for more serious opinions. But I suppose I could easily be wrong. I’m kind of disappointed at just how often I seem to be wrong lately. If any moderator feels that it belongs in some other forum, I would ask that they please move it wherever they feel it belongs. Satire?? You know, when you feel the need to write crap on the wall of the stall, it’s not really necessary to use real crap-just ask Mommy for a crayon. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/20 "2014-03-25T21:21:20Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > Any ape (regardless of their level of training) could run a war (as well as the entire government) better than this OBozo could. Would you mind presenting the credentials that make you an authority on this topic, or, if you prefer, on what specifically you base this conclusion? I would like to give a fair hearing to your opinion and right now I’m having…some difficulty. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547.md?page=2)