# Rumsfield claims a trained ape could manage war better than Obama **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 25, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547 "2014-03-25T19:48:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/201 "2014-03-28T21:57:46Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Can anybody please help a EU hillbilly like me with figuring out was this is all about? 😕 (well I know my Johnny Cash, so you don’t have to explain the Reno part) When Laura Bush was 17, she was in an auto accident that killed the driver of the other car. She was apparently at fault (she ran a stop sign), but was not charged with a crime. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/202 "2014-03-28T21:59:29Z")
Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/203 "2014-03-28T22:05:42Z")
Ninja’d by Frank. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/204 "2014-03-28T22:06:53Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Now if by ‘massive redistribution’ you mean providing good public services for all, and taxing the rich more heavily in order to pay for those services, I think that’s a position favored by pretty much all of our left-of-center posters . . . And by pretty much all center-to-left Americans. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/205 "2014-03-28T22:08:28Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Hey, what happens in Reno _stays_ in Reno! Yeah, I shot a man there just to watch him die . . . ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/206 "2014-03-28T22:08:48Z")
Teenage car accident. Second worst decision she ever made. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/207 "2014-03-28T22:24:59Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Yeah, I shot a man there just to watch him die . . . Did it really happen in Reno? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/208 "2014-03-29T00:16:59Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Go back to gargling whale sperm with the rest of the sea anemones He goes to Der Weinerschnitzel? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/209 "2014-03-29T00:25:14Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Did it really happen in Reno? :eek: No, it was in Midland, Texas, the home town of Laura Bush (then Laura Welch). ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/210 "2014-03-29T01:04:18Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > No, it was in Midland, Texas, the home town of Laura Bush (then Laura Welch). Phew, I’m glad that this fact is settled. I thought the story got weirder and weirder. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/211 "2014-03-29T01:32:53Z")
Well, it was never a weird story - a teenage girl killed somebody in a traffic accident, that’s not outlandish. People are linking it to songs and ad campaigns just as jokes. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/212 "2014-03-29T01:42:17Z")
Well, there may be tragic and/or strange stories in many people’s lives, but when you first hear of an event like this in such a prominent person’s life, it’s always a bit surprising. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/213 "2014-03-29T02:09:09Z")
Heck, when Barack Obama was in high school, he wrote a friendly thank-you note to his weed dealer in a yearbook. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/214 "2014-03-29T02:20:14Z")
Well, that’s really a minor event compared to someone being killed in a car accident. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/215 "2014-03-29T02:23:54Z")
I dunno… Americans love their cars but they can get really bent out of shape when it comes to drugs. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/216 "2014-03-29T02:24:42Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Heck, when Barack Obama was in high school, he wrote a friendly thank-you note to his weed dealer in a yearbook. So? Who didn’t? ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/217 "2014-03-29T02:40:18Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I dunno… Americans love their cars but they can get really bent out of shape when it comes to drugs. I get that, but that doesn’t speak well for your (the average American’s) priorities. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/218 "2014-03-29T02:42:11Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > I get that, but that doesn’t speak well for your (the average American’s) priorities. You don’t understand. We love our cars **physically.** I, personally, have been arrested more than once for doing indecent things to tailpipes in public. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/219 "2014-03-29T02:43:49Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > You don’t understand. > > We love our cars **physically.** > > I, personally, have been arrested more than once for doing indecent things to tailpipes in public. Now I see. You’re all perverts. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/220 "2014-03-29T02:47:20Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Now I see. You’re all perverts. :eek: 😕 Isn’t that obvious?! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547.md?page=12)