# Rumsfield claims a trained ape could manage war better than Obama **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 25, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547 "2014-03-25T19:48:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/241 "2014-03-30T11:41:29Z")
Read this whole thread and didn’t see this noted: From CNN a few days ago: _In 2002, he also used the phrase in making the case for war with Iraq. “There’s no debate in the world as to whether they have those weapons. We all know that. A trained ape knows that.”_ How anybody capable of rubbing two neurons together can avoid the awareness that Donny is a _complete idiot_ is beyond me. Yes, OP, I’m talking to your (apparently now absent) self. Or maybe you remember a reality where the weapons were found? I also like the part where your idiot self judges a guy capable of becoming the editor of the Harvard law Review as a fool. Stack _any part_ of your personal resume against the president’s. **Any** part. I promise to take on faith anything you tell us about yourself. Better grades? Better school? Make more money annually? Could you take him on a basketball court? C’mon, dipshit. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/242 "2014-03-30T12:33:10Z")
Well, Truman, to be fair, it is pretty impressive when someone’s advice is wrong 100% of the time. In effect, once the formula is known by all, it makes his musings on any subject extremely valuable and useful. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/243 "2014-03-30T15:18:09Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > The position he’s [**magellan01**] spent the most passion on has been that gay couples should not be entitled to be called “married”, since there might be some bad unforeseeable consequences from allowing the meaning of a word to continue to evolve, or something. Let’s be fair: he also supports his opposition with non-existent studies showing that being raised by opposite-sex parents is better for the kids than being raised by same-sex parents. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/244 "2014-03-30T17:26:25Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > Wait. I know the rule, which is why I removed the posters name from the quote box. How is that a violation? I even bolded the portion that I altered. **Moderating** Upon review by the staff, it has been decided that the post does not constitute a violation of the rule in question. The warning is hereby rescinded. See [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17242017&postcount=112) for further clarification. Colibri ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/245 "2014-03-31T10:51:35Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Come back when you have some wit. It shouldn’t be too long - he’s halfway there already. ---
**Author:** ![irae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f0a364/32.png) [@irae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irae)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/246 "2014-03-31T16:39:36Z")
What’s the primary difference between Rumsfeld and a trained ape, you ask? It’s the training… ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/247 "2014-04-01T08:20:06Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > What? Peter Griffin of The Family Man isn’t satire? He hat wit! Half-wit! Just stupid you say? Well, I say Good Day Sir! > Real satire is Thomas Jefferson giving an oral presentation of The Declaration of Independence overseeing his slaves in the field while being fellated by Sally Hemmings. I don’t think that is particularly funny. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/248 "2014-04-01T09:22:06Z")
Relevant: [March 2014 was the first calendar month since the beginning of the Iraq war that there were zero US combat fatalities.](http://thinkprogress.org/world/2014/03/31/3421286/zero-combat-deaths/) If that’s what Obama can deliver, then President Trained Ape ought to be able to bring about world peace. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/249 "2014-04-01T14:18:32Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > I don’t think that is particularly funny. Who said it was supposed to be? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/250 "2014-04-01T14:36:33Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Who said it was supposed to be? Still, it’s no “Obozo”. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/251 "2014-04-02T05:12:06Z")
> [@Truman\_Burbank](#): > > Stack _any part_ of your personal resume against the president’s. **Any** part. I promise to take on faith anything you tell us about yourself. Better grades? Better school? Make more money annually? Could you take him on a basketball court? My wife is better looking than his, dresses better, has better manners and more sense. As a matter of fact, everyone who has a wife did better than he did. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Economist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c89c15/32.png) [@Evil\_Economist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Economist)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/252 "2014-04-02T05:24:17Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > My wife is better looking than his, dresses better, has better manners and more sense. > > As a matter of fact, everyone who has a wife did better than he did. I honestly can’t tell if you’re a troll or a moron. Either way you’re bringing up the average quality of right-wing posts on this board, so keep it up! ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/253 "2014-04-02T05:27:23Z")
I vote for “moronic troll.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/254 "2014-04-02T05:33:02Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > My wife is better looking than his, dresses better, has better manners and more sense. She can’t have all that much sense. > [@Evil\_Economist](#): > > I honestly can’t tell if you’re a troll or a moron. The answer is yes. ---
**Author:** ![irae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f0a364/32.png) [@irae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irae)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/255 "2014-04-02T16:31:39Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > My wife is better looking than his, dresses better, has better manners and more sense. > > As a matter of fact, everyone who has a wife did better than he did. Pardon me for a moment while I generate a mental image of the perfect storm of pathetic begging, poor feminine judgement, roofies, and duct tape that would result in Charlie having a wife… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/256 "2014-04-02T16:44:22Z")
> [@irae](#): > > Pardon me for a moment while I generate a mental image of the perfect storm of pathetic begging, poor feminine judgement, roofies, and duct tape that would result in Charlie having a wife… She’s probably vinyl. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/257 "2014-04-02T16:49:30Z")
> [@Truman\_Burbank](#): > > Stack _any part_ of your personal resume against the president’s. **Any** part. I promise to take on faith anything you tell us about yourself. Better grades? Better school? Make more money annually? Could you take him on a basketball court? C’mon, dipshit. I worked at Taco Bell and could make burritos faster than anyone else the entire four months I worked there. I would bet money he could not beat me at burrito making. Hell I’d bet money that he never even worked at a Taco Bell. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/258 "2014-04-02T17:11:09Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > My wife is better looking than his, dresses better, has better manners and more sense. > > As a matter of fact, everyone who has a wife did better than he did. Goddamn, you’re a pathetic little “man”. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/259 "2014-04-02T17:13:37Z")
I’ve only been skimming posts, so forgive me if this has already come up. WTF does Michelle Obama have to do with running an army? Did she go Schwarzenegger on the terrorists or something? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/260 "2014-04-02T18:03:42Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > My wife is better looking than his, dresses better, has better manners and more sense. > > As a matter of fact, everyone who has a wife did better than he did. See? See? Now this is the kind of rational, considered political debate that haas been missing from this board. So, **Charlie** , are you saying Michelle Obama wears army boots? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547.md?page=14)