# Rumsfield claims a trained ape could manage war better than Obama **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 25, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547 "2014-03-25T19:48:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/161 "2014-03-27T18:54:55Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Poisonous is not the same as venomous. > [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Cite that Nancy Grace is not a reptile? > [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > The male duck billed platypus has poisonous/venomous spurs on its hind legs. It is a mammal. The poison/venom distinction is somewhat recent in the language, within about the last quarter century. [Cartman] I hate you guys! [/Cartman] ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/162 "2014-03-27T18:56:36Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I, uh… > > I agree with magellan. > > It doesn’t look to me as though it breaks the rule at all. He made it absolutely clear what he was doing, so he abided by the spirit of the law; and he removed the other person’s name, so he abided by the letter of the law. Telling someone “I fixed your comment” and altering their quote inside the quote box certainly fails to abide by the spirit of the rule, in a way that IMHO can’t be ameliorated merely by leaving off the name of the poster he is addressing. And of course, messing with the contents of the quote box has always been against the letter of the rule. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/163 "2014-03-27T19:09:55Z")
Gys, if you want to debate the ruling or the letter/spirit of the SDMB’s rules, please take it to ATMB rather that highjacking the Rumsfeld Monkey Trial Thread. Thanks, RickJay Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2014, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/164 "2014-03-27T21:34:46Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Gys, if you want to debate the ruling or the letter/spirit of the SDMB’s rules, please take it to ATMB rather that highjacking the Rumsfeld Monkey Trial Thread. > > Thanks, > > RickJay > Moderator God forbid such a fruitful exchange of views should be hijacked. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/165 "2014-03-27T22:08:00Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > \<3 \<3 \<3 > > EDIT: Nope, it happens automatically if the part you wrote in your post does not contain any capital letters. For some reason, the software distinguishes what you wrote from the quotes for reading, but alters both what you wrote and the quotes. That’s weird. Maybe they could update the board to fix the issue. While they’re at it they may as well add some new smilies. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/166 "2014-03-27T22:08:47Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > God forbid such a fruitful exchange of views should be hijacked. One wonders how a trained ape would do as a Dope Mod . . . ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2014, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/167 "2014-03-27T22:12:53Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Gys, if you want to debate the ruling or the letter/spirit of the SDMB’s rules, please take it to ATMB rather that highjacking the Rumsfeld Monkey Trial Thread. > > Thanks, > > RickJay > Moderator Gays? Goys? ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2014, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/168 "2014-03-27T22:32:30Z")
\*That’s \*what Dan Savage means by GGG–gay goy guys. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/169 "2014-03-28T00:30:33Z")
Well, _somebody_ has to pay retail. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/170 "2014-03-28T02:24:50Z")
> [@](#): > > a status of forces agreement (SOFA) between Iraq and the United States, signed by President George W. Bush in 2008. It established that U.S. combat forces would withdraw from Iraqi cities by June 30, 2009, and all U.S. forces will be completely out of Iraq by December 31, 2011. > … > On December 14, 2008, U.S. President George W. Bush signed the security pact with Iraq. [U.S.–Iraq Status of Forces Agreement](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S.%E2%80%93Iraq_Status_of_Forces_Agreement) It was that, or pull out ASAP. Having failed to get an agreement for years, Bush chose the long pullout option so as to pass some of the blame off on the just elected Obama. Rumsfeld knows this, but being a dishonest and immoral man, he snipes at his betters anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/171 "2014-03-28T04:00:53Z")
I’ve heard it said that Donald Rumsfeld hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/172 "2014-03-28T04:24:14Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > The male duck billed platypus has poisonous/venomous spurs on its hind legs. It is a mammal. Maybe the Monotremes are officially mammals, but they are piss-poor mammals. A cloaca, indeed! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/173 "2014-03-28T07:54:31Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > You think it’s o.k. to fuck with a quote if you just remove a person’s name from it, even though it is easily identifiable? From where I sit, that’s been the bright-line standard I have observed being employed by the Mods ever since the don’t-misattribute-quoted-text rule went into effect, back in the shrouded mists of time. And I say that as a poster who holds **magellan01** in not even moderately high esteem. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/174 "2014-03-28T08:07:28Z")
My apologies, **RickJay** ; I saw your admonition after submitting my post, then my phone became uncooperative about letting me edit it away. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/175 "2014-03-28T09:04:53Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Gys, if you want to debate the ruling or the letter/spirit of the SDMB’s rules, please take it to ATMB rather that highjacking the Rumsfeld Monkey Trial Thread. > > Thanks, > > RickJay > Moderator I don’t have the requisite skillz to link to it while posting from my phone, but I have just opened a thread in ATMB for this purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/176 "2014-03-28T11:25:09Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Maybe the Monotremes are officially mammals, but they are piss-poor mammals. A cloaca, indeed! Platypi really are seven kinds of confused. It’s like they took it upon themselves to be several different missing links at once - the \*sideways \*ones. What kind of mammal lays eggs ?! No wonder they’ve got a bad temper. Fake ETA : although I love the opening description of it on Wiki : “The unusual appearance of this egg-laying, [duck](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duck)-billed, [beaver](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaver)-tailed, [otter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otter)-footed mammal […]” - it’s all supernumerary spare parts, innit ? Og must’ve built it oooone piece at a time, and it didn’t cost Him a dime…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/177 "2014-03-28T13:01:01Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Maybe the Monotremes are officially mammals, but they are piss-poor mammals. A cloaca, indeed! You’d think that would make them piss-RICH, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/178 "2014-03-28T13:21:18Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Gys, if you want to debate the ruling or the letter/spirit of the SDMB’s rules, please take it to ATMB rather that highjacking the Rumsfeld Monkey Trial Thread. > > Thanks, > > RickJay > Moderator Are you saying it’s out of scope(s)? ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/179 "2014-03-28T14:26:31Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Platypi really are seven kinds of confused. It’s like they took it upon themselves to be several different missing links at once - the \*sideways \*ones. What kind of mammal lays eggs ?! No wonder they’ve got a bad temper. > > Fake ETA : although I love the opening description of it on Wiki : “The unusual appearance of this egg-laying, [duck](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duck)-billed, [beaver](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaver)-tailed, [otter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otter)-footed mammal […]” - it’s all supernumerary spare parts, innit ? Og must’ve built it oooone piece at a time, and it didn’t cost Him a dime…🙂 [Here’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc2JBtrPpIk) Robin Williams’ take on the platypus. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547/180 "2014-03-28T15:54:43Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Have any of your political opinions changed based on your Dope discussions (besides the one I remember best, because it was my thread, in which you reversed your opinion on ultrasound requirements before abortions)? Yes. Famously, there was my opinion on same-sex marriage. I began my favoring civil unions but opposing same-sex marriage. Discussion here convinced me that stance was foolish. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rumsfield-claims-a-trained-ape-could-manage-war-better-than-obama/684547.md?page=10)