# Russia makes Steven Seagal special envoy to US **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2018, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118 "2018-08-05T05:21:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/1 "2018-08-05T05:21:03Z")
> **[Russia makes Steven Seagal special envoy to US to help thaw relations](https://news.sky.com/story/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us-to-help-thaw-relations-11461781)** > > The action actor became a Russian citizen last year and is a martial arts expert just like President Valdimir Putin. As far as I can tell, it’s real. ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2018, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/2 "2018-08-05T12:19:24Z")
Doesn’t hurt anything, so why not? After all, we sent Dennis Rodman to North Korea. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/3 "2018-08-06T03:17:26Z")
One asshole bonds with another. Nothing earth shaking there. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/4 "2018-08-06T03:21:51Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > One asshole bonds with another. That sentence created a hilariously disturbing image. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/5 "2018-08-06T03:27:45Z")
So let me get this straight: he’s working for the Russians? For free? He’s just doing some volunteer work with the Russians on outreach to Trump? Or is it to reach out to voters? I don’t understand what the fuck is going on anymore. How do I get out of Bizarro World? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/6 "2018-08-06T03:34:51Z")
According to wiki, Seagal was granted Russkie citizenship on 3 Nov 2016. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/7 "2018-08-06T04:20:12Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I don’t understand what the fuck is going on anymore. How do I get out of Bizarro World? You know, if everything since [June 16, 2015]([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tjPZvxwgEk\](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tjPZvxwgEk%5C)) was a series of articles in _The Onion_, I’d be like “C’mon, guys, this isn’t satire, this is just ridiculous unbelievable bullshit.” (Also, I nominate the above quote from **Happy Lendervedder** for our new National Motto.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/8 "2018-08-06T05:02:20Z")
> [@sevenwood](#): > > Doesn’t hurt anything, so why not? After all, we sent Dennis Rodman to North Korea. Rodman went to North Korea as a private citizen. He was not sent there as a representative of the American government. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/9 "2018-08-06T05:04:17Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > > [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > > > I don’t understand what the fuck is going on anymore. How do I get out of Bizarro World? > > You know, if everything since [June 16, 2015]([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tjPZvxwgEk\](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tjPZvxwgEk%5C)) was a series of articles in _The Onion_, I’d be like “C’mon, guys, this isn’t satire, this is just ridiculous unbelievable bullshit.” > > (Also, I nominate the above quote from **Happy Lendervedder** for our new National Motto.) Funny thing, Dan Piraro, the guy who draws the one-frame _Bizarro_ cartoon, has gone to live in Mexico (and is still putting it out). So, our weirdness is no longer wholly domestic. Though, TBCF, most _Bizarro_ cartoons make more sense than most of contemporary reality. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/10 "2018-08-06T05:07:15Z")
Any reason why Russia can’t be represented in the United States by Anatoly Antonov? He’s the actual Russian ambassador. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/11 "2018-08-06T05:17:03Z")
I just feel like this is a really, really bad '80s action movie, and I HAVE NO IDEA WHO I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ROOTING FOR! Is Van Damme in this one too? Better not be fucking Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/12 "2018-08-06T06:11:40Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I just feel like this is a really, really bad '80s action movie, and I HAVE NO IDEA WHO I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ROOTING FOR! Is Van Damme in this one too? Better not be fucking Chuck Norris. [Sly Stallone](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/12/sylvester-stallone-trump-arts) is still on the side of the angels! He leans right politically, but he turned down a job offer from Trump. I’m going to watch _Rocky IV_ right now! ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/13 "2018-08-06T07:19:07Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I just feel like this is a really, really bad '80s action movie, and I HAVE NO IDEA WHO I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ROOTING FOR! Is Van Damme in this one too? Better not be fucking Chuck Norris. If we’re lucky, Seagal’s part will be something like his role in Executive Decision. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/14 "2018-08-06T10:11:35Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I just feel like this is a really, really bad '80s action movie, and I HAVE NO IDEA WHO I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ROOTING FOR! Is Van Damme in this one too? Better not be fucking Chuck Norris. Van Damme is also busy with self-parody these days (Coors ads, _Jean Claude van Johnson_). The difference is that Van Damme knows that he’s making himself look ridiculous, which is unlikely to be the case with Seagal. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/15 "2018-08-06T11:17:15Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > If we’re lucky, Seagal’s part will be something like his role in Executive Decision. He was in that? I heard he bailed early on. ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/16 "2018-08-06T12:45:35Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > If we’re lucky, Seagal’s part will be something like his role in Executive Decision. Or his role in Machete. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/17 "2018-08-06T14:13:19Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > If we’re lucky, Seagal’s part will be something like his role in Executive Decision. Ok, that’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/18 "2018-08-06T14:19:50Z")
For those not familiar with traditional martial arts, the front kick is one of the basic moves every white belt learns and has been learning since they invented karate. However, here is Seagal claiming, essentially, that he invented a recent version of it. [ARIEL HELWANI: STEVEN SEAGAL claims to have taught ANDERSON SILVA UFC front kick - YouTube](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UcNgrp2Ftew) Complete and udder horseshit. So much shit comes out of his mouth, his asshole must be jealous. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/19 "2018-08-06T14:34:49Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > He was in that? I heard he bailed early on. Yes, but AFTER they started filming, so they just killed off his character very early on. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2018, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118/20 "2018-08-06T14:40:32Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I just feel like this is a really, really bad '80s action movie, and I HAVE NO IDEA WHO I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ROOTING FOR! Is Van Damme in this one too? Better not be fucking Chuck Norris. Uh, I really don’t want to see this movie if Van Damme is fucking Chuck Norris. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russia-makes-steven-seagal-special-envoy-to-us/819118.md?page=2)