# Russian Lukoil chief dies in 'fall from hospital window' {2022-09-01} **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** breaking-news\ **Created:** [September 1, 2022, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732 "2022-09-01T14:22:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2022, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/21 "2022-09-02T00:40:19Z")
But what about the tried-and-tested method of [shooting people in the face](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Anna_Politkovskaya) (on Putin’s birthday!) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2022, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/22 "2022-09-02T00:48:10Z")
I tried smoking Toad in the Hole, but the gravy wouldn’t light. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2022, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/23 "2022-09-02T00:52:21Z")
“In Mother Russia, hospital window closes _ **you** _.” Yakov Smirnoff says: - “Why don’t they have baseball in Russia? In Russia, no one is safe.” - “Here you have American Express Card: ‘Don’t Leave Home Without It.’ In Russia, we have Russian Express Card: ‘Don’t Leave Home!’” > [@DPRK](#): > > But what about the tried-and-tested method of [shooting people in the face](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Anna_Politkovskaya) (on Putin’s birthday!) As Yakov Smirnoff once said to Johnny Carson, “I enjoy being in America; it’s fun, you know, because you have so many things we never had in Russia – like warning shots”. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2022, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/24 "2022-09-02T08:56:11Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > > [@Broomstick](#): > > > > Maybe… but plutonium is not that fast-acting so it would have been waste of radioactive isotope. > > I think Putin prefers polonium. That’s not very fast-acting, either. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2022, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/25 "2022-09-02T09:25:28Z")
Gravity very fast. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2022, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/26 "2022-09-02T10:05:03Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Gravity very fast. - Why does gravity always get all the credit? Ground does all the work. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2022, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/27 "2022-09-02T11:11:11Z")
That’s deep. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2022, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/28 "2022-09-02T12:05:35Z")
A little hair of the frog? ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2022, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/29 "2022-09-03T07:19:42Z")
Tragically that is what happens when you allow packs of feral windows to roam the streets - defenestrations galore. It’s a shame. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2022, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/30 "2022-09-03T08:37:46Z")
> [@JoseB](#): > > Tragically that is what happens when you allow packs of feral windows to roam the streets - defenestrations galore. It’s a shame. - So that’s where my window ran off to. 🎶 I can see clearly now, the pane is gone…🎶 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2022, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/31 "2022-09-03T10:07:54Z")
You win the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2022, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/32 "2022-09-03T11:54:16Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Could the toad have been spiked with plutonium at the orders of Putin? No, the risk of creating a superhero is too great. ---
**Author:** ![FrenchDunadan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frenchdunadan/32/5449_2.png) [@FrenchDunadan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrenchDunadan)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2022, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/33 "2022-09-03T16:10:19Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > But, his energy company says he died after a long illness. A terminal (velocity) illness obviously. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2022, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/34 "2022-09-03T16:32:50Z")
I wish I could remember where I got this quote: “The victim tied himself to a chair, stabbed himself repeatedly, and threw himself out a third-floor window…twice. Authorities have ruled his death a suicide.” ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2022, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/35 "2022-09-03T16:51:55Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Why does gravity always get all the credit? Ground does all the work. There’s an old rule: It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end. Like, 90% of the stuntman industry is built around that philosophy. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2022, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/36 "2022-09-03T17:14:31Z")
This really demonstrates the lack of freedom in the United States: in so many hospitals, office towers… there are no windows you can open. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2022, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/37 "2022-09-04T20:27:14Z")
Coincidence? Or. . . > **[Bed Bath & Beyond CFO falls to death days after company announces massive...](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/bed-bath-cfo-falls-death-days-company-announces-massive-closures-layof-rcna46241)** > > Gustavo Arnal, 52, died by suicide, New York’s medical examiner’s office said. He plunged from the luxury skyscraper where he lived in downtown Manhattan, authorities said. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2022, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/38 "2022-09-04T20:33:27Z")
[![](https://y.yarn.co/62f171cb-33a0-4729-adee-55feca4a2634_text.gif) ](https://y.yarn.co/62f171cb-33a0-4729-adee-55feca4a2634_text.gif) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2022, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/39 "2022-09-05T02:36:03Z")
Wrong Russian fell out of a window 😡 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2022, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732/40 "2022-09-05T03:32:10Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Why does gravity always get all the credit? Ground does all the work. It’s hard to survive when you’re hit with an entire planet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-lukoil-chief-dies-in-fall-from-hospital-window-2022-09-01/970732.md?page=3)