# Russian Space Capsule Goes Off Course **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2014, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092 "2014-07-26T13:10:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/1 "2014-07-26T13:10:48Z")
> [@](#): > > A Russian space capsule carrying a package of biological and materials research specimens, including geckos and plant seeds, has stopped responding to commands from Earth, the Russian space agency announced Thursday (July 24). > > … > > The spacecraft stopped responding to commands from mission control after a few orbits, according to a joint statement released Thursday by the Russian Federal Space Agency and TsSKB Progress, manufacturer of the Foton capsule. > **[Yahoo News: Latest and Breaking News, Headlines, Live Updates, and More](https://news.yahoo.com/)** > > The latest news and headlines from Yahoo News. Get breaking news stories and in-depth coverage with videos and photos. Bill Maher mentioned this last night, too. C’mon people, we’ve all seen this movie. After getting the bio specimens on board irradiated, the capsule crashes in some inaccessible jungle in Africa\* or South America, and the next thing you know you’ve got giant geckos running around, trying to sell you insurance. Then we have to send Caesar Romero or Hugh Beaumont or Sid Melton to bring it back \* Not only _The Lost Continent_ (South America) but _Monster from Green Hell_ (Africa) had this plot. I’m sure there are others. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/2 "2014-07-26T17:45:15Z")
Wow, I am more worried about mutated plant/ lizard people coming back for vengeance. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/3 "2014-07-26T20:02:21Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > giant geckos running around, **trying to sell you insurance.** _The horror! The horror!_ ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/4 "2014-07-26T21:09:08Z")
I just hope to gawd it doesn’t swing past Venus first. because these days a few million won’t even buy a decent big toe. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/5 "2014-07-26T21:11:55Z")
Quick! Send in Bob Hope and Anita Ekberg! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/6 "2014-07-26T23:12:05Z")
You take Bob Hope. I’ll take Sweden, er, Ekberg. No, that was Dina Merrill. I’ll take Tuesday Weld, then. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/7 "2014-07-27T05:28:41Z")
Why wasn’t this thread titled something like “Orbiting Russian Lizard Brothel Goes Out of Control”? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/8 "2014-07-27T12:39:03Z")
The Best Little Hore(ticultural) House in Space. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/9 "2014-07-27T13:24:03Z")
It will land on an uncharted desert isle, where seven castaways will try to turn it into a radio, but one of them screws it up. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/10 "2014-07-27T13:26:40Z")
No, it will wash up on a Hawian shore. Where a large blended family is on vacation. One male member of the family will mess with it, causing grief for the entire family until it is properly put back where it came from. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/11 "2014-07-27T17:46:52Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > You take Bob Hope. I’ll take Sweden, er, Ekberg. No, that was Dina Merrill. I’ll take Tuesday Weld, then. Sorry, Tuesday Weld won’t be here until Thursday. ---
**Author:** ![DingoelGringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@DingoelGringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DingoelGringo)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/12 "2014-07-27T17:54:07Z")
I think the Geckos already took control of it and it won’t be crashing anywhere, but head off to Venus to start a Gecko colony in the swamps there. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/13 "2014-07-27T20:28:57Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > Why wasn’t this thread titled something like “Orbiting Russian Lizard Brothel Goes Out of Control”? [This blog had a much better headline.](http://io9.com/russia-has-lost-contact-with-its-gecko-sex-satellite-1610771223) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/14 "2014-07-27T21:03:48Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > _The horror! The horror!_ “Well, Fifteen minutes can save you…I’m burning! I’m BURNING!!! GAAAAAAAHHHHH…!” ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/russian-space-capsule-goes-off-course/694092/15 "2014-07-28T02:04:40Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Sorry, Tuesday Weld won’t be here until Thursday. Tuesday’s on the phone to me.