# Rusty Is A Homosexual **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097 "2002-05-09T15:42:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/1 "2002-05-09T15:42:04Z")
Sort of like Highlights™ magazine…only [not](http://www.ling.upenn.edu/~kurisuto/rusty/rusty.html) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/2 "2002-05-09T16:20:58Z")
Good for Rusty. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/3 "2002-05-09T21:40:43Z")
:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/4 "2002-05-09T21:41:38Z")
Holy cow! You amaze me yet again Dave. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, or go out and buy a dog leash and hunt down firemen. ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/5 "2002-05-09T22:00:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Rusty knew exactly what the man was after. Maybe this was his big chance! “Have you a fireman uniform?” asked Rusty. > > “No, I’m afraid I haven’t,” said the man. > > “Oh,” said Rusty, disappointed. Then he kicked the man in the balls to show him what he thought of child molesters. That line is beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/6 "2002-05-09T22:30:06Z")
My fav: > [@](#): > > When Rusty went to bed, his mother came to tuck him in. “Now, Rusty, there’s something I want you to remember,” she said. “Don’t play with yourself, or you’ll go blind.” > > “Okay, mom,” said Rusty. He wondered if he could just do it until he needed glasses. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/7 "2002-05-09T23:34:05Z")
Where on EARTH did you find that? heee heee! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/8 "2002-05-10T00:02:14Z")
Is the smokey smelling fireman a bear? If he is…I am in love! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/9 "2002-05-10T01:10:13Z")
Oh my goodness… that is funny! 🙂 I liked this part: > [@](#): > > Rusty was so confused that he decided to call the police to ask for help. “Officer Plotchnik speaking,” said the policeman. > > “Hello, my name is Rusty White,” said Rusty. “I’m 9 years old. Everybody hates me because I want to marry a fireman, and they say I’m a homosexual. What should I do?” > > “Well, Rusty,” said Officer Plotchnik. “You’d better not put your wee-wee in any other boys mouths or bottoms, or you’ll go to jail. Sodomy is a crime in this state, you know.” > > Rusty hung up the phone, more confused and depressed than ever. “What am I to do?” he asked himself. Where **do** you find these things? Hee hee hee! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/10 "2002-05-10T02:18:37Z")
In the next installment, Goofus and Gallant fight over who is going to enjoy hot monkey sex with Rusty. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/11 "2002-05-10T04:54:36Z")
Amusing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![baltotop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@baltotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baltotop)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rusty-is-a-homosexual/108097/12 "2002-05-10T05:25:05Z")
Good for Rusty. 🙂 I also hope the fireman is a big burly bear…_yum_… Do you have any other links like that one?