# S/he's not really all that hot, and yet I want her/him **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 17, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075 "2005-09-17T01:23:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/1 "2005-09-17T01:23:15Z")
I started [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=334968) a few days ago but have tired of it, so I’m deserting it like a Frenchman at the Maginot Line. Instead I’d like an equally immature yet opposed topic: celebrities who don’t fit your formal definition of what makes someone sexually attractive to you, but who nevertheless possess an ineffable, ineluctable, undefineable something that makes you want to throw them down and shag them rotten. I’ll begin with my usual list of six, including links which may or may not be worksafe. 1. [Jenna von Oy](http://www.sexydesktop.co.uk/oy.htm) 2. [Renee Zellweger](http://www.sexydesktop.co.uk/renee.htm) 3. [Mandy Patinkin](http://www.dlm-tv.de/gallerie/promo/portraint/mandypatinkin_001.jpeg) 4. [Look, there’s never a number four in my lists, and this is no exception. But since you insist on clicking I’ll send you to a picture of a cute pussy.](http://www.cheezey.org/thundercats/gallery/cheetaragallery.html) 5. [Amber Benson](http://www.babyharp.net/Amber%20Benson%20copy.jpg) 6. [Martha Quinn](http://www.pessimistic.com/martha_quinn/pictures/Martha_Quinn_26.jpg) Aaaaaaannnnnnnddddddd…next? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/2 "2005-09-17T01:25:50Z")
> [@Fabulous Creature](#): > > 1. [Amber Benson](http://www.babyharp.net/Amber%20Benson%20copy.jpg) When did she die? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/3 "2005-09-17T01:30:49Z")
This would be in IMHO if I weren’t such a doofus. Of course if I weren’t a doofus I’d be working on the article with the Monday deadline instead of surfing the net. Move it, please? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/4 "2005-09-17T01:32:25Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > When did she die? As far as I know she’s not dead, so I’m going to say July 32, 2099. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/5 "2005-09-17T01:36:55Z")
> [@Fabulous Creature](#): > > As far as I know she’s not dead, so I’m going to say July 32, 2099. Looks like she’s getting head start. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/6 "2005-09-17T02:23:23Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Looks like she’s getting head start. Re: Amber Benson: There’s something about the combo of sunken eyes with lots of makeup and puffed-up silicone lips that makes you think she oughtta have a hook in her cheek and a worm dangling out of her mouth. There are a lot of women I find attractive who aren’t conventionally attractive, but that’s strictly a matter of my standards being quite low. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/7 "2005-09-17T02:54:34Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Re: Amber Benson: There’s something about the combo of sunken eyes with lots of makeup and puffed-up silicone lips that makes you think she oughtta have a hook in her cheek and a worm dangling out of her mouth. And my mother says \*\* _I’m_ \*\* mean. By the way, I think you mean “collagen,” though I’d guess those were her natural lips anyway. > [@](#): > > There are a lot of women I find attractive who aren’t conventionally attractive, but that’s strictly a matter of my standards being quite low I’ll stand by my affection for Amber, though I know its genesis to be quite irrational. I always thought her character on Buffy was sweet and loveable; it’s a personality thing, or rather a persona thing. The real woman may be a raging harpie for allI know. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/8 "2005-09-17T03:17:04Z")
Amber has looked like shit ever since _Buffy_. I saw her at Comic-Con, and she was a skeleton. My “not hot bit I’d shag her anyway” fave is [Felicity Kendal](http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/400/solo_3.jpg). I’ve had the hots for her ever since I saw her in _Solo_, oh so many years ago. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/9 "2005-09-17T08:47:08Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > My “not hot bit I’d shag her anyway” fave is [Felicity Kendal](http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/400/solo_3.jpg). I’ve had the hots for her ever since I saw her in _Solo_, oh so many years ago. You know, it’s the damndest thing but I had a similar reaction from seeing her in “Good Neighbors” on PBS. Looking at the pictures now, it’s not just that she’s not hot, but she’s not even as “cute” as I remembered. Kinda homely, even. Even for a British actress. But on the show, at least, she’s charming. At least we’re in good company – IIRC, there was an entire episode of “The Young Ones” where the running joke was that at least 2 of the guys were fighting over who would marry Felicity Kendal. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/10 "2005-09-17T09:27:03Z")
I’d like to enter- :eek: I mean my submission for this topic would be [Lili Taylor](http://www.digitalhit.com/fest/tiff/2003/4/t03c-4-77.jpg). Oh, and, **Fabulous Creature** , you must have gone completely out of your way to find such an unattractive picture of [Martha Quinn](http://photos.allcelebs.us/martha-quinn/big-photo/martha-quinn_0001.jpg), a woman who has always held a secure place on my list of all-time dolls! > [@SolGrundy](#): > > Kinda homely, even. Even for a British actress. This made me giggle. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/11 "2005-09-17T13:07:33Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > I’d like to enter- :eek: I mean my submission for this topic would be [Lili Taylor](http://www.digitalhit.com/fest/tiff/2003/4/t03c-4-77.jpg). > Oh, and, **Fabulous Creature** , you must have gone completely out of your way to find such an unattractive picture of [Martha Quinn](http://photos.allcelebs.us/martha-quinn/big-photo/martha-quinn_0001.jpg), a woman who has always held a secure place on my list of all-time dolls! Actually I just googled her and picked the first one that was unquestionably work-safe. Obviously I agree that she’s a doll. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/12 "2005-09-17T18:59:49Z")
Add me to the list of Martha Quinn fans. MTV’s slide into complete worthlessness began when she left. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/13 "2005-09-17T19:03:24Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > My “not hot bit I’d shag her anyway” fave is [Felicity Kendal](http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/400/solo_3.jpg). I’ve had the hots for her ever since I saw her in _Solo_, oh so many years ago. Same here. She was so damned cute in _The Good Life_. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/14 "2005-09-17T19:28:28Z")
[Martha Plimpton](http://www.newyorkcool.com/archives/2005/February/feature.html), [Jane Kaczmarek](http://www.ez-entertainment.net/carpet/JaneKazmarekEM.JPG), [Jane Adams](http://eur.yimg.com/i/xp/premier_photo/e/ed9192a6a6.jpg), [Rebecca Pidgeon](http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000003GGU.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg), [Joan Cusack](http://www.all-pictures-photos.com/images/joan-cusack/joan-cusack-007-img.jpg), [Tracey Ullman](http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Sections/Newsweek/Components/Photos/mag/040920_Issue/040911_TraceyUllman_vm.jpg.vlarge.jpg) (I stood beside her at a NYC bar years ago and she was surprisingly pretty), [Allison Janney](http://orion.netrillium.net/~evilhand/wallpaper/images/allison-b.jpg)… …no, I take one back. Allison Janney IS HOT. ---
**Author:** ![ChaChaHeels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@ChaChaHeels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChaChaHeels)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/15 "2005-09-17T19:31:08Z")
Some people think he is downright ugly but Benicio Del Toro. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/16 "2005-09-17T19:42:31Z")
My sister-in-law. Oops, did I type that out loud? ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/17 "2005-09-17T19:43:36Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > [Tracey Ullman](http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Sections/Newsweek/Components/Photos/mag/040920_Issue/040911_TraceyUllman_vm.jpg.vlarge.jpg) She was my first crush! Touched off a life-long love of British accents, she did. I never thought Julia Louis Dreyfuss was anything special, but I’d still make out with her. I just found out that Heidi Klum is dating Seal. Ewwww, but I guess she sees something in him. Or maybe he’s hung like a mule. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/18 "2005-09-17T19:52:19Z")
I hope my suggestion fits the OP’s criteria. She’s a former babe now but I’d still do [Telma Hopkins](http://www.upn.com/shows/half_and_half/telma_hopkins.shtml) who I’ve had the hots for since she was one-half of “Dawn” of “Tony Orlando and Dawn.” (God, I’m old.) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/19 "2005-09-17T20:45:30Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Amber has looked like shit ever since _Buffy_. I saw her at Comic-Con, and she was a skeleton. Man, I remember back around the time of _Once More, With Feeling_ when there was a furor on the boards over Amber’s supposedly being “fat.” ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075/20 "2005-09-18T00:50:34Z")
David Boreanaz. Everyone else that I could be said to “want” is definably hot. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/s-hes-not-really-all-that-hot-and-yet-i-want-her-him/322075.md?page=2)