# Sad little subversive things you do at work **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2008, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516 "2008-04-23T08:05:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/1 "2008-04-23T08:05:57Z")
So I’m in charge of sending out this daily e-mail to clients as well as to the Big (Asian) Boss, and one of my sad little duties is including some some quirky but wise inspirational quotation at the top. A quote of the day. For the first couple of weeks I earnestly sought out wise quotations by Confucious, Sun Tzu, Gandhi, all manner of Asian philosophers. It’s gotten kind of boring, though, and so lately I’ve been throwing in quotes by rather more, ah, offbeat philosophers that the Big (Asian) Boss _probably_ hasn’t heard of, like Timothy Leary, Douglas Adams, Abbie Hoffman, and Alfred E. Neuman. Well, Big (Asian) Boss really liked my last quote by Alfred E. Neuman and forwarded it to the whole company. Now I’m just hoping he doesn’t think to [google](http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&safe=off&q=alfred+e+neuman) the name of this particular thinker. Any sad, subversive little things you do at work? In life? Were you ever in fear of getting caught? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/2 "2008-04-23T08:42:42Z")
I’m a babysitter. I don’t always get paid as much as I’m supposed to. So…_eat their food!_ Mwahh-hahh-hah-hah-hah!!! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/3 "2008-04-23T09:08:25Z")
I used to put Demotivators everywhere, especially [this one](http://despair.com/inspiration.html) (I worked in engineering, but not as an engineer). One engineer was known for sending J-size drawings to the plotter (that is, 36" wide by however long the whole drawing was - some went for dozens of feet), then noticing one thing off and trashing the thing. When I saw his stuff in the queue I’d wait for the drawing to come out and would plug it right into the shredder. Similarly, one of the Six-Sigma consultants kept sending out plots of excel charts, hoping they’d come out E-Size and they’d screw up every time. Never mind 1. the machine didn’t support what he was trying to do, which I told him repeatedly and 2. the whole idea of Six-Sigma is to reduce waste, and he was wasting big time. I sent a whole stack of A-Size Excel charts that were plotted to E-Size paper to his desk and put “please reduce waste” on it. I also kept a great Dobbshead in my office, and I’d add little stuff to texturize him: a little moss from a plant in the cube of Obnoxious HR Lady for his pipe, material from the 3D machine for pipe smoke, and I added my boss’ boss’ birthday hat to it. It went on and on - it almost became like voodoo-Dobbshead, containing as it did so many sympathetic items. One older lady used to come into my office and say “I sure like the picture of that man in here. He looks like a nice man”. :eek: 😃 It’s amazing that they wanted to promote me. ---
**Author:** ![Coil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Coil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coil)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/4 "2008-04-23T12:02:18Z")
[QUOTE=Koxinga] Well, Big (Asian) Boss really liked my last quote by Alfred E. Neuman and forwarded it to the whole company. [/QUOTE] What was the quote? If you opened up a thread here asking for help I am sure you would get all kinda of useful quotes, real and made up. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/5 "2008-04-23T12:05:45Z")
“The problem with learning from experience is that you always get the test before the lesson.” ~Alfred E. Neuman I think it’s actually not a bad quotation, except that it’s attributed to the fictional mascot of MAD magazine. And thanks, but I’ve got no problem _finding_ quotes, except I’m starting to find the exercise to be duuullllll. So I guess I’ve been subconsciously seeing what I can get away with. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/6 "2008-04-23T12:21:17Z")
[QUOTE=Koxinga] And thanks, but I’ve got no problem _finding_ quotes, except I’m starting to find the exercise to be duuullllll. So I guess I’ve been subconsciously seeing what I can get away with. [/QUOTE] > **[The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said: Byrne, Robert: 9780743235792:...](https://www.amazon.com/Best-Things-Anybody-Ever-Said/dp/0743235797)** > > The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said \[Byrne, Robert\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/7 "2008-04-23T12:53:34Z")
During the whole TQM/empowerment craze in the '90s, there was a period where everyone in our division gave presentations. I wanted so badly to give an entire presentation in iambic pentameter, but I eventually wimped out and just did it for a slide or two. I think I have made a few meeting minutes and emails using TLAs for over 50% of the words. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/8 "2008-04-23T13:05:09Z")
You can always use a word over and over, until they scream for mercy. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/9 "2008-04-23T13:08:40Z")
_Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey._ ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/10 "2008-04-23T13:24:38Z")
The original safety poster in the kitchen: You’re four times _ **It’s hard to** _ more likely to _ **concentrate on** _ have a crash _ **two things** _ when you’re on _ **at the same time.** _ a mobile phone. The revised poster that mysteriously appeared: You’re four times _ **It’s hard to** _ more likely to _ **concentrate on** _ spill your coffee _ **two things** _ when you’re _ **at the same time.** _ reading a poster. Granted, I have no research to back up the claim, but I insist it is a legitimate safety issue. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/11 "2008-04-23T14:02:02Z")
Not sure it’s truly subversive, but we make up songs about the government health programs we work on. I mean, it’s nearly impossible to make Medicare or Medicaid exciting during the work day, so we have to throw ourselves a bone. Truly subversive things? Mmmm, sometimes I make snarky comments in our staff meeting toward a colleague I really despise. I’m trying to tamp that down, though - even though most people in our staff meetings do it at some point or another, it’s not professional and it’s not fair. She’s the latest rising star in a succession of rising stars, even though this is her first job out of school and she’s really annoying and no one but the people who hired her want to work with her. I kind of feel sorry for her since she has absolutely no friends at work. Plus her product is falling apart and no one will help her since she’s burned so many bridges. Then she opens her mouth and I don’t feel sorry for her anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/12 "2008-04-23T14:08:31Z")
[QUOTE=Koxinga] “The problem with learning from experience is that you always get the test before the lesson.” ~Alfred E. Neuman I think it’s actually not a bad quotation, except that it’s attributed to the fictional mascot of MAD magazine. [/QUOTE] That’s actually a really great quote, who cares that it was “said” by someone who’s not exactly a philosophical giant? ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/13 "2008-04-23T14:11:34Z")
Someone has put up movitational posters on our corridor walls. So we have put up a Demotivator calendar in our office. Yeah, we’re rebels, we are. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/14 "2008-04-23T15:00:15Z")
I wait until I get to work to recharge my cell phone. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/15 "2008-04-23T16:36:37Z")
I work at a… uhh… low-level retail job. For employee morale, the powers-that-be installed a big widescreen plasma TV and upconverting DVD player in the break room. We’ve been given a library of obnoxious family movies, too. I don’t mind it much (and I’ve gotten a bit of subversion in by bringing in copies of Clerks and Rejected, and I’ve been thinking it might be a big shock if someone was to bring in the Playboy: Women of … that features our company), but there are a number of people who think nothing of walking in and cranking the volume up to 100 (when 35 is loud enough to disturb managers taking calls in the room next door), and a few of my coworkers have an odd preference for watching the John Wayne flick “Rio Bravo.” Over and over. For days on end. Today, I bought a universal remote control and programmed it to be compatible with the DVD player and TV. It’s a tiny remote control, keychain size. No one at work knows I have it. Should be quite enjoyable. I’ll just bet some of the more technophobic older employees will think they’ve “done something” when the TV suddenly shuts off as they fiddle with the volume. (And, if I get the time, I’ll be able to set them up properly-- right now the DVD player is set to 4:3 and the TV is 16:9.) ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/16 "2008-04-23T16:43:40Z")
[QUOTE=Justin\_Bailey] That’s actually a really great quote, who cares that it was “said” by someone who’s not exactly a philosophical giant? [/QUOTE] Agreed. It could have been said by Cletus Slackjaw…I can see why the big Asian boss liked it. If you want to push the envelope…Jack Handey. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/17 "2008-04-23T16:55:07Z")
I’m doing it right now. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/18 "2008-04-23T17:01:59Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] I’m doing it right now. [/QUOTE] Stop that or you’ll go blind. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/19 "2008-04-23T17:31:42Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Stop that or you’ll go blind. [/QUOTE] Only if you don’t have safety goggles. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516/20 "2008-04-23T17:45:08Z")
Several years ago we were working on a project for a small, midwestern conservative Christian university that promoted Creationism. Since I am a) a pagan and b) think that Creationist are total dinks, I had moral issues with working on the project. My solution was to put a tiny pin-dot size pagan symbol on the title block that was placed on each drawing. I felt much better. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-little-subversive-things-you-do-at-work/446516.md?page=2)