# Sad news **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2008, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600 "2008-01-23T00:54:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/21 "2008-01-23T14:29:33Z")
Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/22 "2008-01-23T14:31:35Z")
I just want to chime in with sympathy as well, and encouragement. We had a couple of miscarriages before we had MilliCal. We saw a fertility specialist – it helped. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/23 "2008-01-23T14:35:16Z")
I am sorry to hear your news. Sending supporting thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/24 "2008-01-23T14:46:56Z")
I’m so very sorry for your loss - you’ll be in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/25 "2008-01-23T15:30:18Z")
I am so sorry…I know firsthand how devastating miscarriage can be. All my prayers for success on further attempts! ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/26 "2008-01-23T18:08:09Z")
I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/27 "2008-01-23T21:24:42Z")
Tough deal. It’s certainly no fun. Mrs. Butler just had her 3rd ectopic pregnancy in a row, and had to have surgery to remove this one. They tied things up while they were in there. We had enough. Thankfully, we have a wonderful little Butlerette, but it was sad to think that we wouldn’t have another Butlerette, or mini-Butler. Best of luck on the next attempt. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/28 "2008-01-23T21:30:12Z")
That’s awful. From talking to my mom, I know she had two miscarriages before me and they upset her immensely. You have my utmost sympathies. Hang in there ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/29 "2008-01-23T22:01:27Z")
Well, if it’s any consolation, this is more common than most people think. I’m not downplaying it, just trying to reassure you that you’re not alone. My wife and I: 1. Miscarriage 2. Success! 3. Success! 4. Miscarriage And before the last miscarriage I opted for a vasectomy. We figured she was far enough along and 3 was going to be just fine. Not to be sadly. I feel your pain. I bawled like I’ve never bawled before (as an adult) after the first miscarriage. Not so bad after the second one. My thoughts are with you. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/30 "2008-01-23T23:21:07Z")
I’m sorry. ☹ To chime in with the ‘if it helps’ crowd, my mother miscarried between my sister’s birth and mine. There’s always hope. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/31 "2008-01-23T23:23:14Z")
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. As many other Dopers have said, you might still have kids–a whole family full of them, however many that means for you. You’re in my thoughts, and I wish the best for you. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/32 "2008-01-23T23:47:21Z")
I’m so sorry. We’ve been there too. I mourned, and I also worried if I could ever have children. It will get better, and most likely you will have happy, healthy children. Also, you may feel alone, but if you share this you will probably find that many people you know have been through the same thing. My aunt told me something that helped me at the time - it’s OK to feel horrible, and it’s also OK to feel all right again. Take care of each other and hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/33 "2008-01-24T00:03:10Z")
So sorry to hear about your loss. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/34 "2008-01-24T00:06:02Z")
I am so sorry to hear this news. All I can say is that time will heal, to some extent. I wish you all the best in getting through this difficult time. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/35 "2008-01-24T06:20:31Z")
I’m so sorry to hear about that. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/36 "2008-01-24T06:25:19Z")
I am sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/37 "2008-01-24T09:42:03Z")
I’m sorry for your loss. I’ll be keeping you and MrsSuranyi in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/38 "2008-01-24T10:56:35Z")
Ouch. When I was 5, I stopped talking to God. You know, those little bedtime prayers? I wasn’t talking to Him no more, cos I’d been told He could do anything, and “ask and you’ll receive”, and I’d been asking for a little sib for over two years and no little sib and I knew that little sibs take many months to make but “many months” does not equal “two years”, so if I hadn’t gotten a little sib yet it was because God was being stupid about it. So if He didn’t wanna be my friend I didn’t wanna be His either, so there. When Mom got wind of it, she gave me a lecture I can barely remember and which ended with her grabbing me by the shoulder and kneeling me at the bed to pray. Well, she was Mom and all that, but I’d meant it when I told God I wasn’t talking to Him until I got a little sib if ever, so what are you going to do? I didn’t want to disobey Mom, but I didn’t want to break my word either! So, uh, I prayed to His Mom. That night and the next nights for several months. Mom saw me there, dutifully bent over my folded hands, and never figured I wasn’t doing exactly as she bade. Then one day, after many months of this, my parents come to my bedroom (both at the same time? UhohwhathaveIdone?), sit down with me (ooooh boy) and tell me I’m going to have a little sib. Mom is pregnant. Rite. That night I made an aside after my usual Hail Mary. I told God “ok, so it looks like you’re finally ponying up. But I do know babies don’t always arrive, so I’m not talking to you again for real until I see the baby and it’s got all the right fingers and toes!” Mom and Dad’s sister had many miscarriages (my aunt had two daughters die at term, she has three sons), some of my classmates had been expecting little sibs who never arrived. Hopefully your next try will go better. That bun Mom had in the oven? His second bun is being baked right now 🙂 Hugs, Kleenex and hope, Nava ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/39 "2008-01-24T12:52:00Z")
Give your missus a hug and tell her it’s nothing she did wrong. Won’t lessen the pain, but if she’s like my wife she’ll be thinking back to see “what could I have done differently?”, sadly the answer is pretty much “nothing, that’s just the way it goes sometimes”. And make sure you talk with someone if you need to - “Dad” often gets overlooked. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600/40 "2008-01-24T17:36:57Z")
I will share a story that may help. My SIL miscarried twins. My children were fairly young, so I explained to them that the babies realized it wasn’t the right time yet, so they went away and will try again later. My SIL now has two little girls…and funny enough, although they’re about 18 months apart in age…they’re the same height. I said to my SIL that she got her twins back, and she laughed. Here’s hoping this is only a delay, that your little one is kicking back, choosing a new birthday. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sad-news/434600.md?page=3)