# Saddam poetry contest **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188 "2004-08-03T20:20:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/1 "2004-08-03T20:20:05Z")
So apparently Saddam has written a few books to go with his tacky taste in indoor decoration, mostly in the juvenile fantasy genera I hear. You can even buy one at Amazon: [http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1589396138/qid=1091562972/sr=1-3/ref=sr\_1\_3/002-8339728-4832816?v=glance&s=books](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1589396138/qid=1091562972/sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/002-8339728-4832816?v=glance&s=books) Not the first ruthless dictator to write books either; Hitler wrote Mein Kampf, Caesar The Gallic War, Nero and Tiberitus dabbled I think – though nothing survives today. Anyone else? Considering their track record in giving away Nobel prices to mass murdering terrorists (Arafat) and ridiculous never heard of authors perhaps Saddam has a shot at next years Nobel price? [Anyway, here for the august Saddam poetry contest:](http://www.command-post.org/desk/archives/013843.html) \*\*Saddam poetry: \*\* “I killed so many And yet so few I blame my plight On the Jews. Rotting corpses Blood on the floor And yet some of my victims The U.S. abhor. “No WMD’s!” My allies cheer Traitors in the bosom Of Freedom appear. Just as they have So many times before, Dupes fail to discern Between true tyranny And Democracy at war.” **Saddam haiku** : “Once head of Iraq. Now nothing. I wish that I could vote for Kerry.” **Saddam limericks** “There once was a man from Tikrit Whose spider hole measured five feet He hated the Jews and Americans too But their muffins sure were a treat!” ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/2 "2004-08-03T20:38:27Z")
Roses are Red And they smell very good I will rule again and when I do the Godless infidel devil dog George Bush will rot in the eternal hellfires of damnation and his rotting corpse will be infected by a million maggots on dipslay for the world to see the grotesque figure who’s evilness was undone thanks to the honor which is Allah ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/3 "2004-08-03T20:46:59Z")
Really loses something in the translation, doesn’t it? “Here I sit, Broken hearted, For defense, I’d like Johnny Cochran.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/4 "2004-08-03T20:47:13Z")
The dictator of Libya, Mallomar Quidditch ([or however the hell you spell his name](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_264b.html)) wrote a book called _Escape to Hell and Other Stories_. Here’s an [excerpt.](http://www.geocities.com/Athens/8744/escape.htm) Having read it, I say, “To hell with weapons of mass destruction, we gotta invade Libya before this guy writes again!” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/5 "2004-08-03T20:48:29Z")
Prison TV plays Only reality shows. The hole was better. ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/6 "2004-08-04T12:58:37Z")
Uday, Qusay, Where they, you say? Away? Afraid? Nay, slayed. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/7 "2004-08-04T19:17:37Z")
Alone in my gloomy cell I look back on my life story Would it help any at all If I said I was real sorry? ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/8 "2004-08-04T19:27:39Z")
Two Hussein sons lived in Tikrit Where both were sexually indiscrete Saddam said with a grin "Though they were kin, If they found my corpse they would f\*\*\* it. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saddam-poetry-contest/258188/9 "2004-08-04T20:58:43Z")
> [@RTA](#): > > Uday, Qusay, > Where they, you say? > Away? Afraid? > Nay, slayed. Burma Shave.