# \#safetytipsforladies TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 18, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985 "2013-04-18T00:17:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/1 "2013-04-18T00:17:40Z")
Found this last night [http://hilaroar.tumblr.com/post/45957899437/safetytipsforladies-or-why-victim-blaming-is](http://hilaroar.tumblr.com/post/45957899437/safetytipsforladies-or-why-victim-blaming-is) I am at the point where I need to redirect how I feel about my own assault I’m gonna try laughing because I have been crying for more than a year. Anyhoo I reckon that the folks here could provide a few tips. Now I know it’s not rape month but I’m sure this will be just as much fun. -fake smile- I’ll start never say yes to anything. Saying yes implies you want to do the nasty. Coffee? - no! Food? - no! fries with that? - NO! Do that and you will never “consent” to rape. #SafetyTipsForLadies ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/2 "2013-04-18T00:47:05Z")
Since most rapes are committed by men the woman already knows, never consent to be introduced to men and avoid the ones you do. If you’re in an elevator and a man gets on, get off the elevator and wait for the next one. If a man waits for one too, take the stairs. If a man takes the stairs too, throw yourself down the stairs to escape. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/3 "2013-04-18T00:56:26Z")
Self immolation. Works every time. I have a migraine and I missed that the OP wanted jokes (and even told one!), then I reported Ferret Herder for being offensive. You may now all laugh at my lack of a sarcasm-dar. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/4 "2013-04-18T01:43:41Z")
Have your vagina filled in with concrete. Less than 3% of all rapists can drill through concrete with their penis. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/5 "2013-04-18T02:12:09Z")
Chastity belt. Kill off all the locksmiths. \*bonus points for getting the reference. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/6 "2013-04-18T02:50:20Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Self immolation. Works every time. > > I have a migraine and I missed that the OP wanted jokes (and even told one!), then I reported Ferret Herder for being offensive. You may now all laugh at my lack of a sarcasm-dar. It’s OK… wait, are you a guy? Do I know you?! 😛 Another tip: Barricade yourself in your house. If a guy gets in, you’re doing it wrong. I suggest tripwires and claymores. A full suit of armor should protect against any guy trying to get his hands on you, plus it provides a built-in alarm if he tries to get the armor off. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/7 "2013-04-18T03:01:24Z")
I love the suggestion to levitate. Because of course rapist can’t fly. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/8 "2013-04-18T04:40:46Z")
Always carry a professional sporting event on your person. If attacked by a man, distract him with the professional sporting event. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/9 "2013-04-18T04:56:43Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Chastity belt. > > Kill off all the locksmiths. > > \*bonus points for getting the reference. Well, if you have a jackhammer… ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/10 "2013-04-18T05:30:38Z")
Transport a coiled pit viper in your vagina at all times. If raped, the pit viper will strike, and its venom will kill your rapist. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/11 "2013-04-18T05:55:58Z")
Wear a burqa in public at all times to avoid asking for it, unless your rapist really likes burqas then in that case don’t wear one or you will be asking for it. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/12 "2013-04-18T05:58:52Z")
Be sure to regularly floss and brush the [teeth inside your vagina](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata). ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/13 "2013-04-18T09:04:14Z")
Rape is all about power. Try being really weak and the rapist might not see you. Preferably never ever lift anything, so you won’t build accidental muscle. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/14 "2013-04-18T10:56:13Z")
_If you swaddle yourself in bubble wrap, rapists will get distracted and forget to rape you_ ---
**Author:** ![slalexan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@slalexan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slalexan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/15 "2013-04-18T11:31:08Z")
Stay in a giant hamster ball whenever going out. If it keeps cats from eating pet hamsters it is sure to keep rapists from raping you. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/16 "2013-04-18T11:34:01Z")
Oh wait, safety tips for **ladies**!? No just women, but ladies! Dress Victorian. Ain’t no rapist gettin’ through that many petticoats. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/17 "2013-04-18T11:37:02Z")
Wear a Collingwood footy jumper. Everybody hates the Pies. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/18 "2013-04-18T11:43:11Z")
If you fear being raped, quickly throw up on your vagina. This will put off any rapists. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/19 "2013-04-18T12:06:17Z")
As a serious answer, some female friends told me that when they were at school they were told to point and laugh at flashers and the like. And to bite hard… ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985/20 "2013-04-18T12:09:18Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > As a serious answer, some female friends told me that when they were at school they were told to point and laugh at flashers and the like. And to bite hard… No, those count, those are funny answers. Hire a professional bodyguard for whenever you’re out in public. But not a man, because he’d probably be the rapist then. Try to get a map of all of the sexual assault locations in your city; obviously those are hotbeds of crime. If one happened in your house/apartment building/workplace, you better avoid those, else you’re just asking for it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/safetytipsforladies-trigger-warning-sexual-assault/655985.md?page=2)