# Said No One Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 23, 2022, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006 "2022-02-23T14:15:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/61 "2022-04-05T13:17:54Z")
Nice Prius. (Actual bumper sticker seen on a Prius). ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/62 "2022-04-05T13:27:01Z")
Well, according to Paris Hilton… ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/63 "2022-04-05T15:05:47Z")
The best thing I like about bagpipes is the pure tonal aspect of their music. I just love clients who can never make up their minds, and want additional work not covered in the contract. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/64 "2022-04-05T16:37:46Z")
_I’d like to see more of the Kardashians_ _Oh, mine’s not anywhere near that long._ _That’s a very thoughtful suggestion, Karen, and I appreciate the subtle manner in which you offered it._ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2022, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/65 "2022-04-05T18:55:08Z")
Damn, I wish gas prices would go up a lot more so that oil company executives - of which I am not one, and of whom I know none - would make out like freakin’ _bandits!_ ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2022, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/66 "2022-04-06T02:35:08Z")
It’s going to be a long ride. Should I put in the bagpipe CD or the didgeridoo CD? ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2022, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/67 "2022-04-06T12:31:38Z")
So the company I intend to create will design the very best underwear using only the very finest burlap available. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2022, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/68 "2022-04-06T13:14:52Z")
_Waitress, I’ll have another serving of surströmming, please._ _You say Harvey Fierstein sang soprano in high school chorus?_ _When you think quality, think Ford Pinto_ ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2022, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/69 "2022-04-09T01:35:43Z")
Owners should leave the dog poop where it is. After all, it is natural. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/70 "2022-04-11T00:22:52Z")
Dr, Oz for President: after all, it is natural. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/71 "2022-04-11T12:32:36Z")
I can’t for the life of me figure out why so damned many dog owners keep their pets in a fenced area or on a leash. After all, it’s unnatural. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/72 "2022-04-11T12:52:38Z")
I think the bird poop really brings out the color of my car’s paint job. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/73 "2022-04-12T03:34:46Z")
That Liberian Prince I told you about wired a million dollars into my bank account today, as promised. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/74 "2022-04-12T14:53:28Z")
You know what really burns my bum? Is the fact that we’re probably going to have to wait for another _month_ before we start getting to see any good political attack ads. Which leaves us with scarcely six months to appreciate and enjoy them. I can only pray that they compensate with greater frequency to make up for this grievously short amount of time. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/75 "2022-04-12T16:06:41Z")
Would you plunge these long, jagged steel needles into my eyeballs, please, and then play a little Haydn on your cello? I’ll try to harmonize with my anguished screams. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2022, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/76 "2022-04-13T01:39:20Z")
_Don’t be so timid, Karen—speak up!_ _No one can take a joke like good ol’ Will Smith._ _Hey Alec, let’s rehearse that OK Corral scene where I’m Billy Clanton and you’re Virgil Earp._ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2022, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/77 "2022-04-13T15:48:25Z")
I’m concerned the former President isn’t using enough bronzer these days. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2022, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/78 "2022-04-13T15:57:28Z")
I hope we get a lot of mosquitos this summer. Their bites feel so good and that whining sound they make in your ear is so adorable. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2022, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/79 "2022-04-14T05:21:10Z")
Aren’t they making our rivers and streams a little too clean? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2022, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/80 "2022-04-14T20:00:53Z")
I wish I had to poop - I mean, really, _really_ poop - at least hourly. Or so I told Gandhi that one time in the space station. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006.md?page=5)