# Said No One Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 23, 2022, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006 "2022-02-23T14:15:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/101 "2022-05-11T12:38:50Z")
I want a three-hour documentary on hagfish. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/102 "2022-05-11T16:22:56Z")
We’ll split the abortion issue 50/50 and only abort the boy babies. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/103 "2022-05-11T18:14:00Z")
Pass me the scalpel and the retractors, would you, Mr. Putin? I want to take another look at my own spleen to see how the Altairian mold culture is developing. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2022, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/104 "2022-05-11T18:38:26Z")
> [@boson](#): > > They should make bras for cows!! All the country folks have just chorused “You city slickers!” [![](https://i.imgur.com/V8Zq4V5.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/V8Zq4V5.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2022, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/105 "2022-05-12T15:38:38Z")
Those fucking cows can just go online and order their own udder supports, as far as I’m concerned. They’ve insulted my Slovenian _Buffy_ fanfic for the last time. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2022, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/106 "2022-05-12T18:14:31Z")
Plutonium Blue derivates (concealing vast quantities of ameliorated butter fat) yield fewer than 8.2% of milkshake nuisances and rattleskate the Uberammergau yelling sideways fala fal fa. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2022, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/107 "2022-05-12T18:19:31Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Plutonium Blue derivates (concealing vast quantities of ameliorated butter fat) yield fewer than 8.2% of milkshake nuisances and rattleskate the Uberammergau yelling sideways fala fal fa… _gasp_ My password! How did you… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2022, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/108 "2022-05-12T19:07:06Z")
^^^ 🤣 🤣 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2022, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/109 "2022-05-19T21:06:50Z")
I only slept with Sven Goebbels sixteen times, twice in Paris and all the other times at McMurdo Base, and he underpaid me every time, the Slovenian bastard! ---
**Author:** ![SacFly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SacFly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SacFly)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2022, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/110 "2022-05-19T22:41:12Z")
Christmas music in November really puts me in the holiday spirit. ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2022, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/111 "2022-05-20T21:16:09Z")
Grizombo released the lever and jammed the mixture into the bowels of the cosmic wombat, eradicating seven and three-forty-sixths of the known realms of reality while converting twenty-nine million, seven hundred two others into used car lots filled with defective umbrellas. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2022, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/112 "2022-05-22T05:33:57Z")
I have always thought that I was a boy in a girl’s body. I want to be a transexual. First to a man. Then back to a woman. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2022, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/113 "2022-05-23T18:38:23Z")
I drank the entire lake during the Nixon Administration and haven’t had to pee since. Don’t give me that look! Just ask Orson Bean if you doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/114 "2022-05-25T05:32:23Z")
Arm the mentally unstable!! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2022, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/115 "2022-05-26T14:35:17Z")
I sure wish we had more school shootings in this country. Hey, there’s a school just down the street from me! We could have one there! ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/116 "2022-05-28T11:21:09Z")
My cat is just waiting for me to die so he can feast on my not-yet-cold flesh, you say??? No, of course not! That’s just silly! ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/117 "2022-05-28T21:05:20Z")
What this thread needs is more stoats. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/118 "2022-05-28T21:13:03Z")
A wee lit’l nitpick … only because I’m a longtime GC fan: > [@](#): > > Here are words that no one has ever said before: > > - Please saw my legs off > - Hand me that piano > > Here’s one you never hear: “Do what you want to the girl, but leave me alone!” > > You can make up a whole story that no one’ll ever repeat; no one ever said before: > > > “Big bats down to one five five. Over cross, up the thing no. Nose, baseball, hieroglyphics, hopscotch, pouch. Inevitably, two four eight, four eight, four eighth. I, I, with a two two two, three four five. Down here, Mother. We’re all home now. So long, Jill. Beep beep. Hungry hungry, are you? I couldn’t stand it. Not in my house. Up yours too, Don. He’s packin’ them in. We’ll all try it. Fifty fifty. Okay, but not me.” RIP, George ! ---
**Author:** ![AzFavorite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@AzFavorite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzFavorite)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2022, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/119 "2022-05-29T18:48:05Z")
Guns, by God, we need alot more of them damn Guns! ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2022, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/120 "2022-05-29T18:58:48Z")
And then it became crystal clear to me as I slowly pedaled along the beach on my jet-propelled unicycle: if only I had a portable scrotum washer, I could easily rule the world! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006.md?page=7)