# Said No One Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 23, 2022, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006 "2022-02-23T14:15:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2022, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/121 "2022-05-29T20:50:57Z")
Sphinctorius surveyed the battlefield, the foul stench of his victory spreading over the land. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2022, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/122 "2022-05-29T21:10:51Z")
“You don’t need to pedal a jet-propelled unicycle.” ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2022, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/123 "2022-05-30T02:38:29Z")
You need to pedal a jet-propelled unicycle. ---
**Author:** ![LilXMo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lilxmo/32/4225_2.png) [@LilXMo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilXMo)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2022, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/124 "2022-05-30T04:01:46Z")
You know what would make these chocolate chip cookies better? Jalapeño peppers and prunes. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2022, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/125 "2022-05-30T04:02:29Z")
Julius Caesar conquered Greater Blawnox with just six women, two raisin bagels, a unicycle and a rabid stoat, Mr. Hoffa. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2022, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/126 "2022-05-30T08:45:30Z")
Hold on; I’ll be right with you as soon as i finish eating my house. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2022, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/127 "2022-05-31T12:15:23Z")
Hold up a second, I’ll be with you just as soon as I get this pipe wrench extricated from my butt. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2022, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/128 "2022-06-01T14:01:15Z")
Stand by, dammit, I’m still communing with the spirits of Trotsky, Churchill and Grand Duchess Anastasia through my St. Bernard’s spleen. ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2022, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/129 "2022-06-01T14:41:41Z")
The Bogolian fired death rays from its jet-propelled unicycle, which it was peddling because the jet part was broken. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2022, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/130 "2022-06-01T14:47:02Z")
If I have to polish the Eiffel Tower from top to bottom with a mustache brush _just one more time_, I swear I’m going to complain to Elvis’s ghost. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2022, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/131 "2022-06-01T14:52:08Z")
Leonard was under the impression that his best friend, a dead alcoholic Norwegian slime mold named Curtis, could get him free Super Bowl tickets, unaware that it’s usually dead alcoholic Swedish slime molds that have connections for that. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2022, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/132 "2022-06-02T03:00:06Z")
I play air-guitar. I use a priceless Sears Rocker Boy with a wahwah. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2022, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/133 "2022-06-02T14:18:30Z")
I’ll get to repainting the toilet just as soon as I finish applying shoe polish to all this popcorn. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2022, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/134 "2022-06-02T14:44:26Z")
Wagner’s complete Ring Cycle, you say ? Ok then. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2022, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/135 "2022-06-02T15:39:29Z")
I’m sorry, but this is _obviously_ stoat poop. I specifically requested quokka. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2022, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/136 "2022-06-02T17:59:03Z")
Orson Bean told me next week, while we were in his time machine on our way to a masked ball in 14th century Florence, that he’s had this terrible rash around his left nipple for quite awhile now. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/137 "2022-06-04T03:18:17Z")
Why, no. A geoduck isn’t at all remotely phallic. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2022, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/138 "2022-06-06T15:19:44Z")
Since the Universe ended 17.47293701202824921313988736348 minutes ago, my appreciation of Kenny G has only increased, Prime Minister. ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2022, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/139 "2022-06-07T02:46:13Z")
Speculation from another dimension focused on the critical role of Rufus the ant in saving Uranus from invasion by the Bieberites. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2022, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/140 "2022-06-07T03:55:03Z")
I think we’re going to have to power wash these geraniums. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006.md?page=8)