# Said No One Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 23, 2022, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006 "2022-02-23T14:15:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2022, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/141 "2022-06-07T12:40:44Z")
I ditched all my recordings on MP3, DVD, CD, vinyl, and cassette and traded them all in for 8 tracks. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2022, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/142 "2022-06-07T17:59:28Z")
Boris Johnson could stay at 10 Downing Street for, jeez, years and _years_ yet. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2022, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/143 "2022-06-07T18:00:49Z")
Said no dog ever: “No, _you_ have the last piece.”\* ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2022, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/144 "2022-06-07T20:11:20Z")
Said no cat ever: “Please stop giving me such delicious food and so much of it! Oh, and I don’t think I’ll nap today at all.” ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2022, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/145 "2022-06-08T22:28:39Z")
Said no ant ever: I’ve gotta be me. ---
**Author:** ![AzFavorite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@AzFavorite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzFavorite)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2022, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/146 "2022-06-11T08:47:56Z")
You lost the keys to your Volvo?No problem! Come on over to the dealership and we can just make you a new one just like on cars not made in Sweden. Thatll be 29.99! ---
**Author:** ![AzFavorite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@AzFavorite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzFavorite)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2022, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/147 "2022-06-11T08:49:01Z")
Gee this Volvo makes a nice paperweight, if a bit boxy! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2022, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/148 "2022-06-14T19:31:42Z")
I haven’t eaten any hovercraft eels in, jeez, it has to be _least_ three thousand years now. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2022, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/149 "2022-07-20T00:57:38Z")
I could tell you, but then I’d have to paint you turquoise. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2022, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/150 "2022-07-20T01:21:45Z")
Squeeze is a lot more turquoise than a cabbage, now ain’t it? ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2022, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/151 "2022-07-20T02:03:46Z")
Well, i mean, if your house were made of soup, it would stand about six inches taller. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2022, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/152 "2022-07-20T03:36:24Z")
Said no horse ever: _I gotta see a horse about a man._ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2022, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/153 "2022-07-20T13:24:08Z")
May the horse be with you, always. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2022, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/154 "2022-07-22T02:28:18Z")
I wish Earth was a little closer to the Sun. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2022, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/155 "2022-07-22T12:11:56Z")
Somebody should invent mint julep flavored snack crackers. They’d be great paired with a nice sharp cheddar or kimchi. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2022, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/156 "2022-07-25T18:23:57Z")
All I ask is that you push me down these stairs a few dozen times and then paint my shoes a particularly alluring shade of hot pink. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2022, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/157 "2022-07-25T18:31:35Z")
Where do I see myself in five years? Well, no question about it. I’ll be playing drums alongside Lars Ulrich in a William Hung cover band. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2022, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/158 "2022-07-26T03:50:10Z")
Oh yea? My buddy and I are gonna get Paul and Ring together and join them to make a much better band: The Better Beatles. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2022, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/159 "2022-07-26T18:56:39Z")
I’ve only been to the planet Neptune twice, and both times the airline not only lost my luggage but gave me a chewtoy in the shape of Dr. Ruth Westheimer. What’s up with _that?_ ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2022, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006/160 "2022-07-26T19:21:48Z")
I always thought the phrase “said no one ever” referred to the opposite of something obvious, not a unique sentence with uncommon words unlikely to have been uttered. So, more: “I really dislike the smell and taste of freshly baked cookies”. Less “The Government of Japan no longer recommends naming Samurai Tortoises after famous modern Spanish artists. These powerful heroes are in a full shell, not a half measure, and will don sacred balaclavas to thwart the ambitions of Mister Shreddies.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/said-no-one-ever/960006.md?page=9)