# Salamander? Was this TRULY the best you could do? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 25, 2003, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711 "2003-09-25T10:50:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/1 "2003-09-25T10:50:31Z")
What the hell were you thinking? I’m just trying to imagine how electrochemical reactions and synaptic spasms can come together to produce something like [this](http://freethemes.tele.net/fonts/fonts/screens/st/salamander.htm). You, sir or madam, have designed the weakest, stupidest, worthlessest font in the history of mankind. I used to think that the world would not be the same, and my life experience would be less, were there the omission of any event whatsoever no matter how tiny or insignificant. I’ve changed my mind. I now know that, had you not designed Salamander, the world would not be poorer. Nothing would be missing. And no one would care. Were you drunk? Stoned? Had you inhaled glue? Look at your handiwork. You not only have no special characters, you have no lower case, punctuation, or numerals in your lousy 6K font. Your kerning is inconsistent. Your line thicknesses are spastic. Hell, you didn’t even make your stupid “X” with the same sort of semi-italic weird leaning that you did all your other letters. Your damn “J” is some kind of stupid fucking joke. Your “S” is the fucking hammer in a pear-apple-banana-hammer IQ test question. _What the hell possessed you to put that “S” in your character set?!_ Who on God’s green earth did you **EXPECT TO DOWNLOAD YOUR STUPID FUCKING FONT?** Are you **INSANE?** :mad: **ARE WE SUPPOSED TO USE THIS SHIT? WHEN YOU CLICKED “SEND” ON YOUR FTP WERE YOU LIKE, “OH, BOY, I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE DOWNLOAD MY FONT!” NO, REALLY. SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE HELL WAS IN YOUR FUCKING HEAD?** It’s so damn horribly conceived that absolutely **nothing fits at all!** It’s egregious!! It’s jejune and Neanderthal!!! **Your crazy stupid worthless dumbass FUCKING M and your pitiful dreadful idiotic assholic FUCKING N don’t even have THE SAME FUCKING SLANT!!!** Do me a favor, will you? Don’t play with your font making software anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/2 "2003-09-25T11:40:34Z")
Ow. My eyes…! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/3 "2003-09-25T11:43:00Z")
Let me get this straight: you’re pitting a _font_?!? Having a slow day, **Lib**? ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/4 "2003-09-25T11:46:47Z")
You drunk **Lib**? Stoned? Inhaling glue? Or is there some country-wide shortage of thorazine this week? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/5 "2003-09-25T11:49:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gyrate \* > Let me get this straight: you’re pitting a _font_?!? Nope, he’s pitting a\* free\* font, probably put on the web by a kid. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/6 "2003-09-25T12:03:52Z")
**Lib** does have a point. That’s a fugly font. The N and M are laughable. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/7 "2003-09-25T12:12:14Z")
Strangely enough, there’s a _real_ font called [Salamander](http://www.fontexplorer.com/FontStore?URL=http://www.fontexplorer.com/isroot/FontStore/content/00_home/content/home_02b_fotw_arch/home_02b_fotw_arch_s/home_02a_fotw_salam2.html), which of course looks nothing like the one **Lib** linked to. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/8 "2003-09-25T12:31:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > _Nope, he’s pitting a free_ font, probably put on the web by a kid. \*\* And rightly so. Once the standards of shareware start slipping, the fall of Western civilization can’t be far behind. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/9 "2003-09-25T12:57:00Z")
[Hmm…now we know what Libertarian does for a living.](http://www.theonion.com/onion3108/fontlyspeaking.html) There’s even a picture of him! ---
**Author:** ![TVAA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TVAA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVAA)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/10 "2003-09-25T13:06:57Z")
Don’t you have some startling new philosophical theory that was debunked several thousand years ago to rant about, **Lib**? Why have you wasted your considerable intellectual talents on fonts when they could be better spent on squaring the circle or proving the existence of God? Tsk, tsk. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/11 "2003-09-25T13:30:28Z")
Pshaw. I liked the rant. Perhaps it’s silly to Pit a font, but have you actually looked at it? It’s butt fugly, and entirely useless. Would you rather see a review of it in GD? GQ? CS, for God-fucking-sakes? Hell no! The Pit is the only place for that shit. Besides, I have it on good authority that the font is a child-molesting, Nazi-loving, puppy-kicking Liberal. It drives an SUV. It promotes Evil-ution. It posts as a sock puppet. Phred Phelch has a website called [GodHatesSalamander.com](http://GodHatesSalamander.com). It is the official font of John Asscroft. It is evil incarnate. Good move on **Lib** ’s part. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/12 "2003-09-25T13:35:28Z")
What a greusome font. I kinda like the S, though. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/13 "2003-09-25T13:40:51Z")
I don’t know why, but I never, ever consciously notice things like fonts. I guess I don’t have a good eye for that sort of thing. I cant imagine reading a sign or something and saying “Oh, wow! That font is so screwed up!” This font looks kind of arts-and-crafts to me. Kind of a rustic, old-timey font from the days when people had to design their own character sets on primitive, wooden PC’s. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/14 "2003-09-25T13:46:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t you have some startling new philosophical theory that was debunked several thousand years ago to rant about, Lib? Nope it’s the medication I’m sure of it. **Lib** There are free clinics where Haldol and Adivan are dosed rather _ **LIBERALLY** _…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/15 "2003-09-25T13:48:48Z")
ambushed makes fonts? ---
**Author:** ![Orbifold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orbifold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orbifold)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/16 "2003-09-25T14:34:32Z")
**Lib** , you’re absolutely right. You also, I think, need to relax. Deep breaths, that’s the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/17 "2003-09-25T14:45:09Z")
> [@](#): > > font is a child-molesting, Nazi-loving, puppy-kicking **Liberal** _emphasis added_ Actually, the font lean to the **right**. I guess that would make the **X** the font equivalent of McCain? ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/18 "2003-09-25T15:32:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVAA \* > \*\*Don’t you have some startling new philosophical theory that was debunked several thousand years ago to rant about, **Lib**? > > Why have you wasted your considerable intellectual talents on fonts when they could be better spent on squaring the circle or proving the existence of God? > > Tsk, tsk. \*\* TVAA, don’t be an ass. I’d criticize you for posting outside your usual area, but since you are in fact being an ass, I can’t. Ferchrissake, we all know that you bear a deep and secret longing for **Lib** , **Poly** , and the rest of the Thoughtful Religious. Can’t you please work out a more mature way of sharing your feelings? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/19 "2003-09-25T15:59:45Z")
Whoa. ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711/20 "2003-09-25T16:05:13Z")
worst.font.ever. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salamander-was-this-truly-the-best-you-could-do/203711.md?page=2)