# Salsa **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 30, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586 "2003-05-30T17:52:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/1 "2003-05-30T17:52:03Z")
There are many fine and wonderful things in this life, in this world: The love of one you love, the smile of a child, a sunset, etc. Fairly high up on that list yet seldom given the credit and appreciation it deserves is Salsa. Great Salsa on a fresh tortilla chip is absolutely heavenly. On the other hand even bad salsa on a crappy chip is very very good. There’s nothing in this world wrong with a can of Old El Paso hot and chunky on a Tostito. In fact, it’s pretty damn good. I think it’s a damn sight better tasting than an average meal in an expensive restaurant. I love the explosion of flavor in my mouth that Salsa gives. I love the chunky vegetables scooped on a chip. Even bad Salsa is very very good. I cannot recall a Salsa that was not yummy. Salsa is always salacious and unexpected. It’s like suddenly smooching in public with an attractive stranger. Even the name is great. Say it with me. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salacious salsa salivation. It’s just cool. Like the name “Antonio Banderas.” “Hello. I am Antonio Banderas. I have brought you Salsa. Now we will make love.” I would love to lick Salsa off my lover’s lips. Breathe deep the spicy heady aroma, and know that you live in a world of privilege unequalled in history that you can just run over to the Quick-E-mart and pick up some Salsa and chips for a couple of bucks. I like to experiment with Salsa. I’ve never tried to make it, but there is so much to buy. Newman’s Salsa is particularly good, as as are the fresh salsa’s in the refrigerated section. Tostito now makes a super thick chip, that is perfect for the yummiest thickest Salsa. You see, the only thing that can go wrong with Salsa is that you can break your chip. Tostito has addressed this Salsa engineering problem, and the thick chip can now handle even the most Banderas Salsa. Tostito’s Salsa is good too. Sometimes you get that Salsa in a restaurant that is really finely ground. I like mine chunkier, but finely chopped is ok, too. If my salsa is too mild, I can add Tabasco too taste, so there is no such thing as a salsa too wimpy to be beneath my consideration. Because of it’s acidic nature, Salsa has antiseptic qualities. You can use it to clean your hands, or in a pinch to sterilize a wound. The heat from Salsa comes from Capascin, a chemical which releases endorphins in your brain. These are the same chemicals you get from narcotics, sex, or exercise. Therefore it is chemically a fact that Salsa is pleasurable. I am trying to place Salsa on the goodness scale. Perhaps you can help me. Salsa is better than\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. Salsa is not as good as\_\_\_\_\_\_. For me, Salsa is better than a 10 minute massage but not as good as a day spent on a tropical beach with a good beach bar. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/2 "2003-05-30T18:04:55Z")
Salsa is better than a prostate exam. Salsa is not as good as cervesa & salsa. ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/3 "2003-05-30T18:10:33Z")
Salsa is better than the smell of freshly cut grass. Salsa is not as good as hot sweaty sex. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/4 "2003-05-30T18:24:51Z")
Salsa is better than onion dip. Salsa is not as good as Central Market’s Love Dip. If you want to really improve the flavor of store bought salsa, chop up a handful of fresh Cilentro and throw it in. Yumdiddlyum. ---
**Author:** ![Vixenation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/278dde/32.png) [@Vixenation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vixenation)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/5 "2003-05-30T18:28:44Z")
Salsa is better than vanilla fudge ice cream on a hot day. Salsa is not as good as listening to **Scylla** expound on the reasons why salsa is excellent. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/6 "2003-05-30T19:10:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jlzania \* > \*\* > If you want to really improve the flavor of store bought salsa, chop up a handful of fresh Cilentro and throw it in. > Yumdiddlyum. \*\* Damn…I absolutely HATE cilantro! A very tiny hint is needed to give salsa a salsa taste, but if I can taste the cilantro, it is too much. A handful would put me over the edge. Salsa is better than canned bean dip. Salsa is not as good as the main course. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/7 "2003-05-30T19:26:24Z")
Lots of cilantro, no cilantro… …it’s all good. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/8 "2003-05-30T19:38:19Z")
Too much cilantro makes me sneeze. ---
**Author:** ![Quantum\_Butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e79b87/32.png) [@Quantum\_Butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quantum_Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/9 "2003-05-30T19:40:08Z")
Cilantro is my friend! I consume cilantro in vast quantities on Mexican food wherever this wonderful herb is provided, and pout where it it not. Good salsa needs LOTS of cilantro. And onions and garlic! ---
**Author:** ![CBEscapee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@CBEscapee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBEscapee)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/10 "2003-05-30T19:51:09Z")
Errr…what kind of sauce are y’all talking about? ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/11 "2003-05-30T20:03:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Damn…I absolutely HATE cilantro! Ohhh too bad! Cilantro makes women more beautiful and increases men’s potency. True fact. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/12 "2003-05-30T20:11:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by VenusProbe \* > \*\*Salsa is better than the smell of freshly cut grass. > Salsa is not as good as hot sweaty sex. \*\* Salsa and hot sweaty sex is better than salsa or hot sweaty sex. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/13 "2003-05-30T20:13:04Z")
Salsa is better than coffee. Salsa is not as good as Green Chile Sauce (the TRUE salsa verde). Too much Cilantro is the mark of a lazy cook and tomatillos should never be considered part of Salsa Verde. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/14 "2003-05-30T20:25:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*Too much cilantro makes me sneeze. \*\* Bless you! Here’s a Kleenex… Salsa is much better than Tostitos chips dry Salsa is no where near as good as hot sweaty sex\* \*partner not withstanding. Factory options may not be available on all models. Dealer financing may vary. Statement is not a formal stock offering: please read your prospectus. In clinical trials, side effects may include shortness of breath, heart palpitations, seizures, and eventual death, but were found to be similar to Sugar Pill. Offer void where prohibited as well as in Vermont, Utah, and North Dakota. See your healthcare proffessional before engaging in strenuous physical activity. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/15 "2003-05-30T20:33:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Too much Cilantro is the mark of a lazy cook… Well, considering that I put up over 250 lbs of tomato’s last year in a variety of different sauces, I hardly consider myself lazy,\*\* DeVena\*\*. ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/16 "2003-05-30T20:35:23Z")
People put too much onion in their salsa. If it tastes like onions, that’s too much. Although nothing compared to the abomination I had that was called Southwestern-style salsa. Corn and beans and crap. ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/17 "2003-05-30T20:45:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SmackFu \* > \*\*…Although nothing compared to the abomination I had that was called Southwestern-style salsa. Corn and beans and crap. \*\* Yeah, whats up with that? corn and beans have no business in salsa… salsa, I just like saying it, salsa. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/18 "2003-05-30T21:01:07Z")
Salsa is better than bean dip. Salsa is not as good as a nice queso dip, which is impossible without salsa. Pace Picante sauce is a damn fine salsa, too. I’ve noticed that nobody has mentioned it yet… ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/19 "2003-05-30T21:23:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jlzania \* > \*\*Ohhh too bad! > Cilantro makes women more beautiful and increases men’s potency. > True fact. \*\* HHhhmmm… I thought that was beer. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586/20 "2003-05-30T22:40:57Z")
> [@](#): > > I thought that was beer No, remember what good ol’ Ben said: > [@](#): > > Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Now, when you combine beer with fresh salsa made with cilantro, a touch of onion, hot hot peppers, garlic and ripe out of the garden tomato’s…😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salsa/178586.md?page=2)