# Salt makes atheists shrivel up like slugs! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921 "2005-03-23T19:05:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/1 "2005-03-23T19:05:16Z")
I was reading an AP article about religious folks being arrested trying to break into Terri Schiavo’s room and give her water (being unclear on the concepts of “feeding tube” and “_she has no cerebral cortex_”). But it was this that really caught my eye: > [@](#): > > Only a pair of people turned out to support husband Michael Schiavo and the courts. Tim Harmon, 44, of Tampa, held a sign thanking the federal judge “for standing up for Terri + Michael and Doing the Right Thing.” “We feel like we’re the silent majority,” says Harmon, who claims fellow protesters have thrown salt on him and called him an atheist. So, is this true? Because I love salty food and had no idea how careful I had to be. Can this be done selectively? Like, can I sprinkle salt on my double chin or tummy and have it act as anti-atheist liposuction? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/2 "2005-03-23T19:16:39Z")
If they are, indeed athiests, would that be assalt with a deadly condiment? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/3 "2005-03-23T19:23:13Z")
Throwing salt is, at least according to legend, an element in exorcising evil influences, such as those that may emanate from you atheists! 😉 There was a Pit thread a while back, IIRC, about some people who sprinkled a mixture of salt and chrism throughout a cathedral after a meeting of gay Christians was held there. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/4 "2005-03-23T19:23:19Z")
I’ve been feeling sluggish all day. Now I’ll have to be twice as careful. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/5 "2005-03-23T19:24:08Z")
**Polycarp:** What’s chrism? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/6 "2005-03-23T19:31:13Z")
Holy oil. So they tried to disperse evil gay energies with… condiment and lube? There’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m really too tired right now. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/7 "2005-03-23T19:38:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Salt makes atheists shrivel up like slugs! No, actually it doesn’t. But ketchup . . . beware the ketchup, my heathen friends. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/8 "2005-03-23T19:49:08Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > **Polycarp:** What’s chrism? Like Matt said, holy oil. Fragrant anointing oil, to be precise. [Do-it-yourself chrism-making instructions](http://www.rockies.net/~spirit/sermons/sp-anointing-oil.php). > [@](#): > > QUANTITIES > > - 1/4 to 1/2 cup olive oil > - clean dry glass container > - salt - 1 teaspoon > - sugar - 1 teaspoon > - allspice seeds - 1 tablespoon > - whole cloves - a little mashed - about 1 tablespoon > - balsam - about a 1 inch piece - cinamon sticks broken and bruised (2 to 3 sticks) > > The amounts are in no way representative of the amounts in scripture. I strive to have some scent perfuse the oil. Sometimes I’ve added sweetgrass, cedar needles, fir needles, wild sage. The longer ahead the oil is made the more scent it takes on. > > Optional: > > - frankincense - 4 to 5 grains (small tiny pieces) or more if easily available > - myrrh - 4-5 grains as above > - balsam, spruce, fir, pine aromatherapy oils (instead of actual needles) Chrism will be blessed in most cathedrals tomorrow, Maundy Thursday, for use throughout the coming year. > [@Podkayne](#): > > But ketchup . . . beware the ketchup, my heathen friends. I’ve also had good results with Arby’s Horsey Sauce. Of course, that stuff would make _anything_ shrivel up! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/9 "2005-03-23T19:54:19Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Throwing salt is, at least according to legend, an element in exorcising evil influences, such as those that may emanate from you atheists! 😉 Well, no wonder my evil schemes haven’t come to fruition—too much salty food. It’s a shame no one whacked him on the head with a flashlight: a salt _and_ battery! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/10 "2005-03-23T20:02:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Polycarp: What’s chrism? Oh Boy! A Chance to use that St. Joseph’s Baltimore Catechism I memorized back at St. Mary’s! “Chrism is a mixture of olive oil and balm blessed by the bishop on Holy Thursday.” Exactly what goes into the balm wasn’t specified, but I doubt it had to be as exotic and detailed as in **Polycarp** ’s post. ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/11 "2005-03-23T20:12:06Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > “Chrism is a mixture of olive oil and balm blessed by the bishop on Holy Thursday.” And you can buy vials of it along with by-the-numbers application instructions at our local religious bookstore. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/12 "2005-03-23T20:15:53Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Exactly what goes into the balm wasn’t specified, but I doubt it had to be as exotic and detailed as in **Polycarp** ’s post. That was Chef EssentialOilsRUs’s take, not anything official. I believe that frankincense and balsam infused in olive oil are the required ingredients from a churchly standpoint. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/13 "2005-03-23T20:22:20Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > I believe that frankincense and balsam infused in olive oil are the required ingredients from a churchly standpoint. If you pour it over atheists, do we melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/14 "2005-03-23T20:28:33Z")
One of my dad’s sisters is a real-life religious nut-case. She has her own church that meets in her barn. Her husband is a top-notch home-builder so when I was considering building a house I went to meet with him. We were out in the barn and I noticed a jar of Extra Virgin Olive Oil, the kind you get in the grocery store, on the podium she uses. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/15 "2005-03-23T20:35:48Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > If you pour it over atheists, do we melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West? No, but when they burn us at the stake, the oil makes our skin all crispy and delicious. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/16 "2005-03-23T20:40:19Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > If you pour it over atheists, do we melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West? Nah, you just get christened. 🙂 Though it might produce interesting CGI scenes – Matt or Hamish, who’s that preacher/superhero character from Trigun? Can you visualize him “smiting the ungodly” by anointing them? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/17 "2005-03-23T20:46:39Z")
These protesters have obviously never done their research. It’s salt that destroy zombies, because it reminds them that they are dead. Atheist’s vulnerability is to fire. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/18 "2005-03-23T20:47:49Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Holy oil. > > So they tried to disperse evil gay energies with… condiment and lube? > > There’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m really too tired right now. Sanctum Santorum? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/19 "2005-03-23T20:49:53Z")
Salt, then, is very useful for de-icing zombies, atheists and sidewalks. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/20 "2005-03-23T20:57:27Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Like Matt said, holy oil. Fragrant anointing oil, to be precise. So these folks thought that scented oil would make a bunch of GLBT folks less likely to come back, or at least subdue homosexual demons. …they don’t know us very well, do they?;)😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921.md?page=2)