# Salt makes atheists shrivel up like slugs! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921 "2005-03-23T19:05:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/21 "2005-03-23T21:04:21Z")
> [@Scott\_plaid](#): > > Atheist’s vulnerability is to fire. I don’t think so… I had a grease fire break out on my stove a couple days ago, and the flames coming out of the pan burned my entire forearm arm pretty good up to the elbow… seared all the hair off it and burned like a bitch for several hours. Not only did it not blister, but it barely hurt by the next morning. Personally, I am vulnerable to holy water. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/22 "2005-03-23T21:06:52Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > If they are, indeed athiests, would that be assalt with a deadly condiment? Aggravated assalt with intent to shrivel? Fortunately for any religious fanatics who’d like to dry me up on their driveways, with Lawry’s Salt I’ve built up an immunity over many years. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/23 "2005-03-23T21:14:33Z")
If you _could_ use salt as an atheist liposuction technique, I’d be very tempted to turn atheist for a few minutes. I wonder how long it would take? Could I substitute lots of doubt? Does it work faster on long-term atheists? If it just did what salt does to slugs, that would be gross. They turn inside out or something. Huh. It would be like a Star Trek transporter accident. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/24 "2005-03-23T21:29:14Z")
Maybe they were told that salt destroys slugs and mis-heard it as salt destroys the smug. Then they naturally assumed that it would work on vocal atheists. The only practical application of salt towards atheists, of course, is that it makes them really thirsty. And when they’re drinking a glass of water, they shut up for a second and don’t insist on reminding you how smart they are because they don’t believe in “magical sky pixies.” Except for the ventriloquist atheists. They’re the most dangerous of them all. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/25 "2005-03-23T21:31:58Z")
I don’t fear salt. In fact I add it to the rim of my glass for margaritas! ---
**Author:** ![VampyChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5daacb/32.png) [@VampyChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VampyChick)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/26 "2005-03-23T21:55:44Z")
Does this mean I should cease my quest for yet saltier potato chips? Or wait until the final results on the ‘atheist liposuction’ research come in? ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/27 "2005-03-23T21:57:49Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Well, no wonder my evil schemes haven’t come to fruition—too much salty food. > > It’s a shame no one whacked him on the head with a flashlight: a salt _and_ battery! _lights another candle at the altar of Eve_ ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/28 "2005-03-23T22:06:41Z")
> [@](#): > > …Harmon, who claims fellow protesters have thrown salt on him and \*\* called him an atheist. \*\* As though it were an insult or something? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/29 "2005-03-23T22:12:54Z")
Don’t ask me to explain it; they keep calling me queer like it’s an insult, too! ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/30 "2005-03-23T22:18:05Z")
That’s very odd. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/31 "2005-03-23T22:25:24Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > _lights another candle at the altar of Eve_ Is it acceptable to worship an atheist? 😕 Can I get a ruling please. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/32 "2005-03-23T22:47:20Z")
It’s not so much worship as awe. The woman can _write_, and her puns are stupifying. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/33 "2005-03-23T23:33:32Z")
No, no, no. Everyone knows that our greatest weakness is Atheite, the radioactive element that is all that remains of our long destroyed homeworld. Different colors of Atheite have different effects. Green saps our super powers away, while the rarer red Atheite turns us into Christians for twenty-four hours. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/34 "2005-03-23T23:46:01Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > I’ve also had good results with Arby’s Horsey Sauce. Of course, that stuff would make _anything_ shrivel up! 😃 But not Arbyque sauce. Arbyque sauce is of the Devil, and it only makes us stronger! Mwah-ha-ha! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/35 "2005-03-23T23:52:08Z")
> [@Fuji Kitakyusho](#): > > As though it were an insult or something? According to some people, it is. But I won’t let people call me anything else, so they’ll have to deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/36 "2005-03-24T00:02:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Only a pair of people turned out … “We feel like we’re the silent majority,” Truly, numeracy is dead. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/37 "2005-03-24T02:09:21Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > Truly, numeracy is dead. Among other things. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/38 "2005-03-24T02:54:16Z")
Since I’m a former atheist, I take pity on these folks. No salt shaker for me. I throw **Mrs. Dash** on 'em. It doesn’t hurt, and it makes them smell like garlic, which keeps the vampires away. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/39 "2005-03-24T03:48:24Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > Sanctum Santorum? 😃 Thank you for making my day. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921/40 "2005-03-24T04:08:29Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Salt makes atheists shrivel up like slugs! Yes, which is why invented Viagra. Can’t very well keep the women-folk disappointed because of a serving of fries. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/salt-makes-atheists-shrivel-up-like-slugs/295921.md?page=3)