# Sam the Apple Polisher **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 23, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837 "2014-07-23T15:01:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/21 "2014-07-23T16:47:59Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s a pretty good place to work but sometimes it seems like it’s run by incompetent fucktards. wait, the rest of you are getting PAID to show up? :mad: ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/22 "2014-07-23T16:48:30Z")
Personally I like treating myself to Monkubines now and again to relieve the workaday stress. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/23 "2014-07-23T17:03:04Z")
Wow! This story is just like Deja vu all over again. I swear I’ve seen the very same sort of thing recently, right around here somewhere, can’t quite put my finger on it **A** t **T** he **M** oment **B** ut it will come to me. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/24 "2014-07-23T17:09:13Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Please cite “that he gets away with it” if that’s you wish to discuss. For example, it has been said by who that we have "hairy eyeballs? My eyeballs aren’t hairy. Can you provide 23 cites showing people have hair on their eyeballs? Did you mean to end the quotation mark at the end? Are you seriously implying that someone posted the literal words “hairy eyeballs? My eyeballs aren’t hairy.”? If you can’t cite that exact phrase, the rest of your post is worthless! ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/25 "2014-07-23T17:18:38Z")
Sounds like Sam is quite the Poindexter. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/26 "2014-07-23T17:26:51Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Did you mean to end the quotation mark at the end? Are you seriously implying that someone posted the literal words “hairy eyeballs? My eyeballs aren’t hairy.”? > > If you can’t cite that exact phrase, the rest of your post is worthless! It matters who said it if we are to consider it as a possible statement of fact. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/27 "2014-07-23T17:35:46Z")
I \*think \*that you’re using fictional names in your OP, and if so don’t you think Nicholas or Alexander would have been better choices than Sam? ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/28 "2014-07-23T17:56:54Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Again, said by who? Whom. For fuck’s sake. And whatever stick you all have up your collective ass about Czarcasm, he was correct that the psycopath-question-having-guy was starting from a very weak and unsupported premise. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/29 "2014-07-23T17:58:50Z")
Oh no. The name that shall not be mentioned has been. Won’t be long now. ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/30 "2014-07-23T17:59:19Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Whom. For fuck’s sake. > > And whatever stick you all have up your collective ass about Czarcasm, he was correct that the psycopath-question-having-guy was starting from a very weak and unsupported premise. Reported for thread shitting. OP looking for opinions on his co-workers. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/31 "2014-07-23T18:08:37Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Whom. For fuck’s sake. > > And whatever stick you all have up your collective ass about Czarcasm, he was correct that the psycopath-question-having-guy was starting from a very weak and unsupported premise. I believe you’ve posted in the wrong thread. I’ll report it for ya. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/32 "2014-07-23T18:10:09Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > your collective ass That’s one sick-fuck concept. A collective ass? Seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/33 "2014-07-23T18:14:40Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Whom. For fuck’s sake. > > And whatever stick you all have up your collective ass about Czarcasm, he was correct that the psycopath-question-having-guy was starting from a very weak and unsupported premise. The OP is asking for opinions based on unattributed(and wrong) definitions and “facts”, and I just happened to notice what forum he posted this thread in. Did you? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/34 "2014-07-23T18:28:18Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Whom. For fuck’s sake. > > And whatever stick you all have up your collective ass about Czarcasm, he was correct that the psycopath-question-having-guy was starting from a very weak and unsupported premise. Huh? Nobody even mentioned Czarcasm – what are you even talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/35 "2014-07-23T18:41:07Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Whom. For fuck’s sake. [QUOTE=I ain’t sayin’] it has been said by **who** that 1 in every 100 of us are psychopaths? [/QUOTE] For fuck’s sake, yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/36 "2014-07-23T18:43:32Z")
A collective ass would be very unsanitary, as well as inconvenient. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/37 "2014-07-23T18:45:01Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > The OP is asking for opinions based on unattributed(and wrong) definitions and “facts”, and I just happened to notice what forum he posted this thread in. > Did you? Tee hee, you’re so naughty. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/38 "2014-07-23T18:54:41Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > But the worst part? He gets away with it. Even if he pulls the same shit as anyone else. Mostly because of Mr. Grant, one of the big muckety mucks in HR. Last week, we were all so fed up with it that we confronted Mr. Grant. All we asked was that he treat Sam like the rest of the employees. We thought it was perfectly reasonable request, but what we got was basically,a big fuck you. Maybe it’s because they used to work together, I don’t know, but Mr. Grant shot down all our complaints about Sam. He pretty much tied himself in knots, twisting logic to give Sam a pass. Really fucking aggravating. > > After that, the place was practically in mutiny. We really didn’t have any recourse but people were still finding ways to complain. Finally, one of the big brass, Ms. Bell, came down and shut the whole thing down. Told us to shut the fuck up and get back to work. We’re all still pretty pissed. I dont’ know why she intervened…Sam probably called her. > > It’s fucked up. It’s a pretty good place to work but sometimes it seems like it’s run by incompetent fucktards. [Moderating] If you have a problem with the way the board is moderated, the proper place for it is ATMB, not the Pit. This thread is closed. [/Moderating] ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837/39 "2014-07-23T19:04:07Z")
Sigh. One of the not-so-nice characteristics of Dopers is our habit of thinking we’re smarter than everybody else. This thread is an example and failure of that. Pittings of posters are allowed, but complaints about moderation go in ATMB. No exceptions, period, end of subject. Trying to get around the rules is frowned on here and also pretty much everywhere else in the parts of the known universe that have rules. All of the following posters are getting warnings. If this happens again, I will probably suspend the participants at random. The length of the suspensions will be based on how long it takes me to stop laughing at posters who think they can get away with stuff like this. [quote=“Blank\_Slate, post:1, topic:693837”] Every workplace has a cast of characters. At mine, there is the woman who talks incessantly about her cats. The guy who’s confused about his sexuality. Another guy who rants and raves about politics and religion, even when we’re talking about something else. Every now and then one of the temps will be a closet racist, or a truther, or a bible thumper. Most of the people are cool, though. But there is one guy we all avoid. The hall monitor. The teacher’s pet. The goddamn apple polisher. Sam has been with the company seemingly forever, long before I came on board. He used to work in HR, but now he’s just a drone like the rest of us. Some of my co-workers used to hang out with Sam after hours, have a few drinks, whatever. By all accounts he’s a nice, easy-going guy outside of work. It’s sort of hard to believe, because at work he drives us up the fucking wall. It’s like he has anointed himself HR’s eyes and ears all across the cube farm. Take too long on break? There’s Sam giving you the hairy eyeball. Complain aloud about all the petty rules were subjected to? There’s Sam with the rule book in his hand, quoting exact regulations and reminding us that we all signed an employee agreement. Sometimes you even find yourself getting hauled into an HR interview because Sam has reported you for some minor infraction. But the worst part? He gets away with it. Even if he pulls the same shit as anyone else. Mostly because of Mr. Grant, one of the big muckety mucks in HR. Last week, we were all so fed up with it that we confronted Mr. Grant. All we asked was that he treat Sam like the rest of the employees. We thought it was perfectly reasonable request, but what we got was basically,a big fuck you. Maybe it’s because they used to work together, I don’t know, but Mr. Grant shot down all our complaints about Sam. He pretty much tied himself in knots, twisting logic to give Sam a pass. Really fucking aggravating. After that, the place was practically in mutiny. We really didn’t have any recourse but people were still finding ways to complain. Finally, one of the big brass, Ms. Bell, came down and shut the whole thing down. Told us to shut the fuck up and get back to work. We’re all still pretty pissed. I dont’ know why she intervened…Sam probably called her. [[Here I originally issued warnings to several posters who had participated in this thread because I felt they were also complaining about moderation. On review, it’s possible to take those posts as either general commentary or humor or as insults toward specific posters, which is allowed in the Pit. So I’ve reversed those warnings.]] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-the-apple-polisher/693837.md?page=1)