# Same-gender hostility in the workplace **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 7, 2011, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499 "2011-02-07T08:09:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/41 "2011-02-08T23:18:20Z")
Well, I did end up talking to HR, ( I didn’t see **Crafter Man** ’s post until after work) and apparently I’m not the only one who’s complained. Miss Thing is being transferred and will be gone in a week. Thanks for all of your advice and input, everyone. I certainly learned a lot, and if this comes up again, I will hopefully have a better idea of what’s going on and how to handle it. Not to mean I’ll go to HR right away, but I won’t give another person that many chances. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/42 "2011-02-08T23:46:12Z")
Huh. Well, thanks for coming back with an update. Your HR dept. seems … different, let’s say, from what I and some other Dopers have experienced. Glad the collective complaints were heard! ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/43 "2011-02-08T23:54:36Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Huh. Well, thanks for coming back with an update. Your HR dept. seems … different, let’s say, from what I and some other Dopers have experienced. Glad the collective complaints were heard! Thanks, based on her behavior I’m guessing that other people had charges more serious than mine, and that’s why she’s getting out of Dodge. Whatever the case, I’m not sorry to see her go. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/44 "2011-02-09T00:52:23Z")
_Sigh_ And women wonder why they make less than men and have problems getting hired for anything other than HR or PR or marketing? BITCHES PLEASE!! > [@monstro](#): > > Crazy people cannot be changed and are by definition irrational. So why bother worrying about them? They sure aren’t worrying about you! Crazy people don’t respond to reason. They respond to fear. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/45 "2011-02-09T01:07:54Z")
And now the thread is complete. Mods, please close now. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/46 "2011-02-09T01:12:30Z")
> [@Pixiesnix](#): > > Well, I did end up talking to HR, ( I didn’t see **Crafter Man** ’s post until after work) and apparently I’m not the only one who’s complained. Miss Thing is being transferred and will be gone in a week. > > Thanks for all of your advice and input, everyone. I certainly learned a lot, and if this comes up again, I will hopefully have a better idea of what’s going on and how to handle it. Not to mean I’ll go to HR right away, but I won’t give another person that many chances. You reported someone to HR because you smile at her and she scowls at you? Seriously? You may think that you “won” this because she’s being transferred (that was probably already in the works since it’s happening so fast and likely had little to do with your complaint) but I’m quite sure that you are firmly in the “whiner” category at your job now. Congrats! ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/47 "2011-02-09T01:50:16Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > _Sigh_ > > And women wonder why they make less than men and have problems getting hired for anything other than HR or PR or marketing? > > BITCHES PLEASE!! \Now you’re getting nasty.\ > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > And now the thread is complete. Mods, please close now. \Oh! I like it when it shatters.\ Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/48 "2011-02-09T02:04:03Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > You may think that you “won” this because she’s being transferred (that was probably already in the works since it’s happening so fast and likely had little to do with your complaint) but I’m quite sure that you are firmly in the “whiner” category at your job now. Congrats! The OP lucked out in this case. Because generally speaking, you never want to go to HR to complain about someone. (See my comments above.) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/49 "2011-02-09T03:28:25Z")
See, men complain like THIS but women complain like THAT. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/50 "2011-02-09T06:04:28Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > You reported someone to HR because you smile at her and she scowls at you? Seriously? No, it was much more than scowling. It was insults and non-cooperation which affected my work and the work of others. > [@](#): > > You may think that you “won” this because she’s being transferred (that was probably already in the works since it’s happening so fast and likely had little to do with your complaint) but I’m quite sure that you are firmly in the “whiner” category at your job now. Congrats! Maybe, we’ll see. I know the situation at my workplace, and I’m not too concerned about it. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499/51 "2011-02-09T06:54:16Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > The OP lucked out in this case. Because generally speaking, you never want to go to HR to complain about someone. (See my comments above.) Maybe she lucked out, but maybe she didn’t. HR isn’t going to tell her that she’s now a whiner. They smile and tell you that they appreciate you bringing it to their attention and that teamwork is important and yadda yadda yadda. Still, she’s now the person who brought them a junior-high style problem about “She’s not being nice to me!” Whether her complaints are valid or not, it’s still her bringing a problem for them to handle. Like you, I think it was a bad idea. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-gender-hostility-in-the-workplace/570499.md?page=2)