# Same-Sex couples as parents...what do the kids call the second "Mom" or "Dad"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 27, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492 "2003-03-27T09:07:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/1 "2003-03-27T09:07:01Z")
Please pardon me if this is in the wrong forum, or I end up offending anyone. That’s not my intent. That said, I’ve wondered for a while…in families in which the parents are a same-sex couple, what’s the most common nickname that the kids use for the second “Mom” or “Dad”? (And I do realize that aside from the linguistic angle, calling either parent the “second” one would be arbitrary and meaningless, not to mention rude.) I mean, it would be perfectly appropriate for both parents to go by “Mom” or “Dad,” but I can imagine that it could get confusing really easily. Well, thanks for your time, Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![honkytonkwillie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@honkytonkwillie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/honkytonkwillie)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/2 "2003-03-27T09:09:34Z")
I used to live next door to a lesbian couple with young kids. One of them was “mom” and the other was “momma Melissa”. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/3 "2003-03-27T09:10:22Z")
I imagine it varies. But an obvious possibility is using “Papa” and “Dad”, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/4 "2003-03-27T09:18:05Z")
Well, when I was growing up I called my parents by their first names and still do. I imagine that system would pretty much solve the problem :). - Tamerlane ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/5 "2003-03-27T12:23:42Z")
A lesbian couple I know recently had twins. Well, that is to say, one of the couple actually _HAD_ the twins. Anyway, the kids call them “Mum” and “Mummy”. Max 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/6 "2003-03-27T12:42:52Z")
I remember the sketch on the old Tracey Ullman show of the girl with two dads … one was “my dad” and the other was “my William.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/7 "2003-03-27T13:14:39Z")
In my sister’s house it’s “Mother Mary” and “Mom Fran.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/8 "2003-03-27T18:07:59Z")
Really, I don’t see how the question is any more difficult than multiple grandparents (which of course happens frequently in all sorts of families). And if great-grands are still in the picture, it just gets more complicated. My niece, for instance, has three “grandmothers” (maternal, paternal, and maternal-great-maternal), and each one has a different variant of the “Gramma” title. And when I was growing up, there was no confusion between “Grandpa” (paternal side) and “Granpap” (or even “Pappy”) (maternal side). ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-couples-as-parents-what-do-the-kids-call-the-second-mom-or-dad/164492/9 "2003-03-27T20:14:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorsnak \* > \*\*I imagine it varies. But an obvious possibility is using “Papa” and “Dad”, etc. \*\* When I’m writing a story that involves homosexual men adopting, this is the method I use. ::shrug:: It works for me. If it’s homosexual women, I’d go with “Momma” and “Mother.”