Marriage (gay or not) is a state issue. The 1996 so-called Defense of Marriage Act is the federal issue. Were the DOMA to go away (please please please), that would change the rules dramatically.
Let me add my kudos to Albania, and point out that the Albanian institution of the vajzë e betuar has provided a legitimate social role for some LGBT individuals: essentially, women living as men, up to and including marriage to other women. I don’t know too much about it, and it’s obviously not the same as modern Western gay identity, but “dangerous to be openly homosexual” is obviously a bit more nuanced than some of the posts here indicate.
ETA: A not-very-good article on the topic in Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sworn_virgin. Obviously, the sexual aspect would occur behind closed doors anyway; From other things I’ve read I gather the “virgin” aspect is a public fiction, a sort of 19th-century “don’t ask, don’t tell.”