# Same-sex marriage: What can I do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263 "2010-10-15T17:02:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/21 "2010-10-15T21:17:28Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > OR I could take **Giraffe** ’s idea and become the cancer in some anti-gay organization. That sounds like more fun. Are there really any anti-gay organizations that you want to associate with, even for the purpose you described? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/22 "2010-10-16T17:46:25Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > > [@tdn](#): > > > > OR I could take **Giraffe** ’s idea and become the cancer in some anti-gay organization. That sounds like more fun. > > Are there really any anti-gay organizations that you want to associate with, even for the purpose you described? Not really, no. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/23 "2010-10-16T18:27:03Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Hey, I grew up there! > > I really miss Zweigel’s hot dogs. What a co-in-kie-dink! It’s enough of a shock to make you want to have a couple-three [Jenny](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genesee_Cream_Ale) beers! ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/24 "2010-10-16T23:27:37Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Get Canadians to come down and vouch that civilization hasn’t collapsed there yet? 🙂 I’ll state it on line. Civilization hasen’t collapsed up here. I’m a straight agnostic male that sees nothing wrong with two people that love each other who should have the same rights and benifits as straight married people. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/25 "2010-10-17T12:27:11Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > > [@tdn](#): > > > > Hey, I grew up there! > > > > I really miss Zweigel’s hot dogs. > > What a co-in-kie-dink! It’s enough of a shock to make you want to have a couple-three [Jenny](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genesee_Cream_Ale) beers! Not really, no. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/26 "2010-10-17T16:32:46Z")
I volunteer in an organization that does homosexuality demystification workshops in high schools, and am in training to volunteer for an organization for queer and trans youth (that I used when I _was_ a queer youth). As has been in the media recently, queer and trans youth are very vulnerable to bullying and attacks, even in areas where legal advances have been made. Organizations for vulnerable queer and trans youth are often underfunded and understaffed. Is that something you could focus on? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/27 "2010-10-17T19:43:32Z")
That sounds like something I could do. Right now I’m talking to **evilbeth** about her project, but that will probably be a temporary thing. Your idea could be a longer term thing. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/28 "2010-10-17T22:14:41Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > > [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > > > What a co-in-kie-dink! It’s enough of a shock to make you want to have a couple-three [Jenny](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genesee_Cream_Ale) beers! > > Not really, no. 🙂 Okay, then, I’ll say something on-topic. New York State, for those who do not know, has recently recognized SSM couples. That is to say, a same-sex couple would have to get married elsewhere, such as in Massachusetts, or a similarly-legislated state. But once the marriage is officailly legal by the laws of that particular state, NYS will recognize the returning couple as married. I’m sure that we are not the only state in this “intermediate” position, but offhand I can’t name any others. Recently I read a brief local essay by a partner in a SSM, and the main concerns were the results of a lack of Federal ruling or voting in favor. For instance, joint national income tax filing is still denied them, since the US government doesn’t accept their legitimacy. _ **- Jack** _ ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/29 "2010-10-17T23:26:57Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > I’m sure that we are not the only state in this “intermediate” position, but offhand I can’t name any others. Maryland and Rhode Island, at the moment. California is in a different “intermediate” position, of course. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/30 "2010-10-17T23:51:26Z")
If you really care about gay rights, what about joining with a group that promotes human rights in areas of the worlds where homosexuals are still being imprisoned or killed? Surely there are some organizations out there which have a special concern about this issue, but if nothing else, consider joining with a group like Amnesty International. I think that would make much more of a genuine difference for people than campaigning for gay marriage somewhere that it’s already legal honestly. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/31 "2010-10-18T04:33:34Z")
Here in Massachusetts, [GLAD](http://www.glad.org/) is working on fighting the Defense of Marriage Act in the courts. The Justice Department recently filed their intent to appeal to the Circuit Court. I don’t know what sort of services they might need, but they’re probably the local group doing the most to fight for marriage equality (not to shortchange the great work [MassEquality](http://www.massequality.org) has done, but I think it’s less specific to marriage equality these days). ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/32 "2010-10-18T05:01:29Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > BTW, I was going to change ROC city (which isn’t even an official nickname of ours yet)to Rochester, NY, so… :smack: It’s not? But I see it used all over the place. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/33 "2010-10-18T20:19:14Z")
This one is really already settled. As with miscegenation, all we have to do is wait for the old folks to die. [If policy were set by those under 30, only 12 states would not allow-same-sex marriage.](http://www.stat.columbia.edu/~cook/movabletype/archives/2009/06/future_trends_f_1.html) ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/34 "2010-10-18T21:04:14Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I recently came to realize that it would be a good thing if I had some sort of cause in my life. Something where I can selflessly give to and uplift my community, whether local, national, or global. I sat down and really thought through what things really matter to me. Abolishing the death penalty, cleaning up the oceans, and ending street violence are all things that I care about, but if I had to pick just one thing, it would be legalizing same-sex marriage. > > Since it’s already legal in this state, I should concentrate on another one or work at it on the national level. > > What can I do that’s more than writing a check every month? Write two checks. I mean, it’s flippant, but seriously, it kind of drives me crazy when people dimiss monetary contributions as unimportant or worse impure or something. Yes, it’s important for SSM to have conversations with people you know, and volunteer work can do a lot, but cold hard cash is the most important thing you can do. We’ll never have SSM (or real climate change action, or…) in our lifetimes unless we have people who can work full time going through legislative dockets and court decisions to see what is actually going on legally, and who have the time and knowledge to testify at legislative or court hearings, who can once in a while go on mainstream media to counter opposition lies, and who have the resources to mount a state-wide campaign. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/35 "2010-10-18T22:29:25Z")
> [@Pabitel](#): > > This one is really already settled. As with miscegenation, all we have to do is wait for the old folks to die. > > [If policy were set by those under 30, only 12 states would not allow-same-sex marriage.](http://www.stat.columbia.edu/~cook/movabletype/archives/2009/06/future_trends_f_1.html) Actually, with miscegenation we had the Supreme Court decide the matter. Public opinion caught up several years later. I can’t remember where I saw the data, but a majority of the population were in favor of anti-miscegenation laws until sometime in the '80s. _Loving v. Virginia_ was in '67. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263/36 "2010-10-19T16:57:39Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > Maryland and Rhode Island, at the moment. > > California is in a different “intermediate” position, of course. Thank you. > [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > It’s not? But I see it used all over the place. Maybe so. I’ll try various search engines to check for official status of it as a nickname. Meantime, I wouldn’t mind it being legally changed. There are a number of other cities named Rochester, so I think a unique name would be great. We do have the distinction of being the largest in the US. That’s something I’ve known since my school days. We are also larger than the one in Australia and the two in the UK, [making us the largest anywhere](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rochester). For some odd reason I found that (the worldwide prominence) surprising. _ **- “Born and bred” Jack** _ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/same-sex-marriage-what-can-i-do/557263.md?page=1)