# Sammy Hagar ruined my weekend **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847 "2003-04-29T03:50:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/1 "2003-04-29T03:50:52Z")
No, really. I woke up on Saturday morning with the atrocious “There’s Only One Way To Rock” running through my head, for no reason I could discern. This was further complicated by the fact that I never know the words to songs, just the chorus, so I went around all day singing There’s only one way There’s only one way TO ROCK to myself. Over and over. And if that’s not bad enough, after a while, I began to experience self-doubt. Is my unconscious trying to tell me something? Is this a message? Am I, perhaps, not rocking properly? How do I tell? Furthermore, the suspicion that Sammy ferchrissake Hagar knows the correct way to rock and I don’t really burns me up. These are the things that keep me up at night. I had a terrible weekend. ---
**Author:** ![TheFunkySpaceCowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@TheFunkySpaceCowboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFunkySpaceCowboy)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/2 "2003-04-29T04:22:06Z")
You think that’s bad! He ruined my birthday lastyear, showed up to my party drunk, opened all my presents before we’d even had cake and icecream and then started hitting on my sister. When that didn’t go anywhere he started hitting on my mom, then he passed out in the cake. It was awful. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/3 "2003-04-29T04:30:31Z")
Sammy Hagar had to cover David Lee Roth’s songs in Van Halen. Most of VHs memorable songs were, in fact, DLR songs. Ergo, Sammy does not know the one way to rock. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/4 "2003-04-29T05:03:42Z")
If _anybody_ knows the one way to rock, it sure as hell isn’t Sammy Hagar. I would put my money on Marie Osmond ahead of him. ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/5 "2003-04-29T06:08:59Z")
The truth is that there really is only **one** way to rock. Now it is your quest to find out which one is for you. That is your lesson for today, grasshopper.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/6 "2003-04-29T14:58:10Z")
Just because Sammy Hagar knows there is only one way to Rock does not mean he knows _what_ the one way to Rock _is_. I’m going to drive down the road for lunch now. At 54 miles per hour. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/7 "2003-04-29T15:46:37Z")
OK. Most if not all of the people I have spoken with regarding this matter agree that the Red Rocker is not the avatar of all things rock. This is most reassuring. Otherwise, there seems to be an even split as to whether there are multiple ways to rock, or, as Murcielago points out, only one way. Although, as I re-read his or her missive, I see a mixed message. Murcielago, your use of the word “which” in your second sentence seems to negate your assertion, in your first sentence, that there really is only one way to rock. Please make up your mind. You know, now that I think about it, the one to ask in regards to this troubling question is none other than our Perfect Master. Cecil, I implore you, please inform me, your worthless yet faithful minion, is there really only one way to rock? And if so, how can I tell if I am rocking correctly? I tremblingly await your wisdom and guidance. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/8 "2003-04-29T15:54:53Z")
Sorry to disappoint, essvee. I’m not Cecil. However, IMHO if you want to rock with Sammy Hagar you need to check out Montrose. Much better than the solo Sammy, or Van Hagar. Now whether or not this is the one way to rock, I do not profess to know. ---
**Author:** ![flybynight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@flybynight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flybynight)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/9 "2003-04-29T16:28:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\*I’m going to drive down the road for lunch now. At 54 miles per hour. \*\* My question is, are you going to Cabo Wabo for lunch? ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/10 "2003-04-29T16:53:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manduck \* > \*\*I would put my money on Marie Osmond ahead of him. \*\* No, no, you FOOL! She’s a little bit country! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/11 "2003-04-29T17:04:51Z")
Hagar the _Horrible_ has ruined several of my weekends. ---
**Author:** ![flybynight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@flybynight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flybynight)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/12 "2003-04-29T17:20:29Z")
I have so many horrible things stuck in my head right now because of this thread… _There’s only one way to… I’m a little bit rock’n’roll… I can’t drive…_ Make it stop. Please… ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/13 "2003-04-29T18:35:51Z")
Stick it all in a Three Lock Box, and the voices in your head will quiet down. [sub]Or maybe that one will just drown out the rest for a bit.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/14 "2003-04-29T19:01:38Z")
_Red Red I see Red Cause that goddamn song’s stuck in my head_ ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/15 "2003-04-29T19:12:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Murcielago, your use of the word “which” in your second sentence seems to negate your assertion, in your first sentence, that there really is only one way to rock. Please make up your mind. But that is the joke. It is one of those “Zen” paradox kind of things. ---
**Author:** ![Fingolfin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eada6e/32.png) [@Fingolfin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fingolfin)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/16 "2003-04-29T22:21:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flybynight \* > \*\*I have so many horrible things stuck in my head right now because of this thread… > > _There’s only one way to… I’m a little bit rock’n’roll… I can’t drive…_ > > Make it stop. Please… \*\* Great. Now those things are stuck in my head. Here, I’ll add one to the pot: _Lunatic fringe. I know you’re out there. I can hear you coming_ So now we have this delicious soup: There’s only one way to… I’m a little bit rock’n’roll… I can’t drive… Lunatic fringe. I know you’re out there. I can hear you coming… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/17 "2003-04-29T23:37:55Z")
I read this thread awhile back. Then I went out to run some errands. What was on the radio in the car? **Beautiful Girl** by DLR. Now that song is stuck in my head, and I am in hell. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/18 "2003-04-29T23:58:24Z")
Hägär Däsz. It’d be damn good ice cream if weren’t for them damn umlauts. Tripler Heh? What? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/19 "2003-04-30T00:50:57Z")
They’re not umlauts, they’re _sprinkles_! ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847/20 "2003-04-30T01:41:51Z")
So I watched it on the weekend. Meh. The one-wagon circle and Yiddish Indians made me laugh. But there is a scene in the town church where they are singing about their lot in a very singsong showtuney arrangement, and there is a line something like “This town is turning into shi-iit” at the end of a verse. So last night my 13 month old daughter is up, feverish, yarking up her insides, and generally miserable, and the phrase “This night is turning into shi-iit” leapt into my head unbidden, pitch perfect, and in my minds eye I could see the players in the church holding prop hymnals and executing the line. Lack of sleep apparently lased this onto my forebrain 'cos it’s been playing in my head. All. Gawl. Darned. Day. But that’s not even the stupid part. The stupid part is, I tried to explain all this to three people at work. I think most of you can imagine the kinds of looks and reactions this netted me. But The Dope is here, and thus I am cleansed. 'vark [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sammy-hagar-ruined-my-weekend/171847.md?page=2)