# San Francisco allows lesbian couple to marry. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922 "2004-02-12T21:43:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Survivor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/51bf81/32.png) [@Survivor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survivor)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/21 "2004-02-13T04:34:30Z")
This is just SO cool… I went to the Castro today to see if there was any celebrating going on, but it seemed like business as usual… I guess all the couples celebrating today were at City Hall… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/22 "2004-02-13T04:53:53Z")
Good work, San Francisco. I am one of those conservative Democrats who often cringe at the actions of the far left, but this is an action that needed to be taken, and it was only going to be done by a radical. ::Applause:: P.S. Congrats to the happy couple. Anyone know where they are registered? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/23 "2004-02-13T05:19:22Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > Would they be allowed where You live? > and where is that, anyway? Dear **vanilla** : Everyone is allowed to live where I live. It is a place closed to nobody, to no being whose time has come to cast off mortal coils. It is a place where everybody knows your name, a place where there is no shame, a place where hate cannot survive, a place where the bad and ugly do not thrive. I live in a place not far from where you are, yet never will you find it on a map. It is not there for you to find it; not now, anyway. It is there to be found quite easily by those who are now, or were at one point, meant to find it, and when you are meant to find it, you will find the journey quite familiar. Until that time, know only that where I live isn’t too far away, and this couple, as with all others (though some you would not recognize; the difference between physical trappings and the human element once removed from them can be quite remarkable), will be welcome there. All My Love, iampunha Should the Powers That Be hold this to be in violation of the rule on witnessing, please accept my most humble apologies and do as necessary with this post. I have tried to keep it as open and general as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/24 "2004-02-13T07:55:47Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > …It is a place where everybody knows your name… You live at Cheers?!? I thought the city/county thing might be the explanation. I’m frankly rather amazed that this mayor took this action. What little I saw in the press about the recent SF mayoral race depicted this guy as a semi-Republican who was battling the “real” radical from the Greens. I’m thinking the mayor of Madison might be persuaded to do something similar but Madison and Dane County aren’t interchangable. The Dane County executive (Kathleen Falk) might possibly be talked into this but Wisconsin is not the right state to try something like this. Our governor recently vetoed a DOMA but his veto was only sustained by one vote. The actual issuance of marriage licenses would likely be enough for our Republican-controlled legislature to re-pass the DOMA and override the veto. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/25 "2004-02-13T13:03:10Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > You live at Cheers?!? > > I thought the city/county thing might be the explanation. I’m frankly rather amazed that this mayor took this action. What little I saw in the press about the recent SF mayoral race depicted this guy as a semi-Republican who was battling the “real” radical from the Greens. Nah, even a \*semi-\*Republican couldn’t get elected mayor in San Francisco. IMHO, it’s more of an image thing than a real political issue - Gavin Newsom is a spiff guy in an Armani suit with a model-y looking wife, and Matt Gonzalez (the Green candidate ) is a messy haired dude who lived in a flat with two roommates and took a bus to work. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/26 "2004-02-13T15:48:00Z")
That was beautiful, iampunha But I was really asking Otto what state he lived in. 🙂 But still, you rock ---
**Author:** ![facil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@facil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/facil)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/27 "2004-02-13T15:58:51Z")
i’ll say it too… **about damn time**! of all the places to do it, san fran should have allowed that years ago. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/28 "2004-02-13T16:11:56Z")
A toast to the happy couple! The issue of same-sex marriage is really starting to pick up steam. According to a front page article in the Richmond Times-Dispatch, a local lesbian couple plans to visit the Circuit Court Clerk’s Office in the coming week to request a marriage license (knowing full well that they’ll be denied). It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out here, hot-bed of staunch, rock-ribbed, conservatism that Richmond is (that must explain why I kept getting hit on by married guys in the showers at the Y). Who best reflects values inherent in the concept of “sanctity of marriage:” Brittany Spears and her high school chum who got drunk and got married on a lark, or the lesbian couple in SF who have been a couple for 51 years? Again, congratulations to them. I will, however, pass on being a fly on the wall during their honeymoon. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/29 "2004-02-13T19:15:35Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > That was beautiful, iampunha > > But I was really asking Otto what state he lived in. Aw, hell, luv, I knew that! I just saw a golden opportunity and didn’t want to pass it up:D ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/30 "2004-02-14T23:02:28Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > That was beautiful, iampunha > > But I was really asking Otto what state he lived in. Oh. Sorry, I had no idea the original question was addressed to me. I live in Madison WI. On the same day that this was all going down in SF, a pair of legislators introduced to each of our state houses a bill which would legalize SSM. There is also an anti-SSM constitutional amendment proposal floating around but I don’t know what the current status is. In SF news, the very same conservatives who scream like girlies whenever a judge rules in favor of fairness and equality toward gay people are [going into court](http://www.365gay.com/newscon04/02/021304sfSuit.htm) Tuesday to seek a restraining order against the SF County clerk from issuing any more licenses and to void those marriages already performed and certificates already issued. And Dubya contiues to be deeply disturbed, now supposedly planning to [support](http://www.advocate.com/new_news.asp?ID=11313&sd=02/14/04-02/17/04) a federal constitutional amendment which would not only outlaw marriage but also jeopardize Vermont’s civil unions and other state and local domestic partnership laws. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/31 "2004-02-14T23:34:37Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > And Dubya contiues to be deeply disturbed, . Not breaking news. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/32 "2004-02-15T12:25:20Z")
Well I’ll add my huzzahs! I’m both scared and hopeful. Scared of the backlash, hopeful it’ll be bested. Hmm, We’ve got the same set up as SF, City & County of Honolulu. Not sure if our mayor has the legal ability to do that but it would be very cool. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/33 "2004-02-15T18:51:43Z")
To: [gavin.newsom@sfgov.org](mailto:gavin.newsom@sfgov.org) Your Worship: As a Canadian intensely proud of my country’s stance on gay marriage, I wanted to commend you warmly for your present act of civil disobedience in favour of the equal right of same-sex couples to marry. I have hoped and expected for some time that a breakthrough would come on the Queer rights scene in the United States, particularly on this issue - but I never suspected it would come in such a dramatic fashion. You have shown yourself to be a politician of courage and ethics, and I salute you. Your commitment to doing what is right and standing up to those who consider their ability to meddle in our affairs more important than our civil rights is a credit to your office and your name. Once again, my congratulations. Very truly yours, Matthew McLauchlin Montreal, Quebec, Canada ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/34 "2004-02-15T21:39:11Z")
Quick, Yanks, send him more e-mail before he decides that only Canadians think this is a good idea! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/35 "2004-02-15T21:51:17Z")
But address him as “Your Honor.” “Your Worship” sounds so fruity. Total’s up over 900. Couples are flying in from across the country and the clerk’s office stayed open Saturday and today and will be open tomorrow (President’s Day) to get as many couples married as possible before Tuesday’s court hearing. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/36 "2004-02-15T22:59:28Z")
> [@dutchboy208](#): > > Quick, Yanks, send him more e-mail before he decides that only Canadians think this is a good idea! Done. I think it’s _brilliant_. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/37 "2004-02-16T08:19:22Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > Done. I think it’s _brilliant_. I concur. Sent mine this AM. In related news, forty couples were turned away today because they couldn’t issue enough licenses in time. “Come back tomorrow,” they said. I hope the backlash hasn’t _blocked_ their applications by tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/38 "2004-02-16T14:42:53Z")
I can’t think of a better reason to be turned away, though it would undoubtedly suck at the time. Keep up the good fight, people! ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/39 "2004-02-16T14:54:11Z")
Fwiw, I have lesbian friends who legally married in San Francisco about 2 ½ years ago now. One of them is French (the other American) so they legally married at the French Consulate – obviously not a ‘legal’ marriage in the US but recognised in France. They also have a daughter now, as well – one of those anonymous donor deals. And they remain extremely happy. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922/40 "2004-02-16T15:20:52Z")
The total of married couples is now [over 1000](http://www.365gay.com/newscon04/02/021604sfUpdt.htm). The clerk handed out numbers to those who chose to wait in line overnight and she is keeping the office open all day today to get as many couples married before tomorrow’s court hearing as possible. I have visions of thousands of married couples converging on the courtroom… Meanwhile in Massachusetts, “law and order” governor Mitt Romney is reportedly planning to [defy the order of the Supreme Judicial Court](http://www.365gay.com/newscon04/02/021604massGov.htm) and refuse to allow marriage licenses to be issued to same-sex couples. No word yet as to whether he plans to block access to the clerk’s office a la George Wallace. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/san-francisco-allows-lesbian-couple-to-marry/228922.md?page=3)