# Sandra Tsing Loh, time to STFU! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 28, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198 "2009-11-28T03:30:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/1 "2009-11-28T03:30:28Z")
[http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200912/tsingloh-bad-mother](http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200912/tsingloh-bad-mother) Okay, Ms. Loh. I’ll start with the obvious problem: This is supposed to be a book review, of other people’s books, but you’ve made it all about you and your personal problems. Your monstrous narcissism, your desperate middle-aged sluttiness, your willingness to air out the most intimate details of your marital dysfunction in print and on the web. This shit lives forever on the web, and your kids will be hearing about it in high school and college and decades down the road. For their sake, if for no one else’s, you should have kept your fucking mouth shut. You’re the one who fucked around. Everyone who’s been married for a few years has a hankering for fresh meat, at least once or twice. Some people give in, and some people don’t. There’s nothing special about it. You say you “fell in love”. Are you a fucking high school girl? You most certainly did not fall in love. What you had was a tingly clit from some charming new cock. You gave in. So what? Not the best thing anybody’s ever done, not the worst either. He’s not with you anymore? Of course he’s not with you anymore you immature twit. Married middle aged woman are easy prey for the unscrupulous young cocksman\*. Don’t fool yourself. It was fresh meat. That’s all. There’s also your naked slander of decent responsible men like your own husband and the husbands of your friends as unmasculine, asexual, “kitchen bitches”. Would you rather they beat you up, leave you to pay all the bills, and duck their share of the cooking and child care? Seriously, WTF do you want, a pony? A Barbie dream house? [http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200907/divorce](http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200907/divorce) On top of all that, shame on the shithead Atlantic editors for publishing this incoherent mess of an article. A disjointed, unfocused mishmash of personal reflections, irrelevant references and cliche buzzwords wouldn’t be published in a college newspaper, much less a national magazine that purports to have serious discussions about important issues. And while were at it, you egotastic gasbag, do you seriously call what you do a career? Your writing is really, really not funny. Your radio delivery is awkward and irritating. Your science short features suck compared to people who are good at it, like Bill Nye the Science guy and Suzuki (the Canadian guy, don’t recall his first name, David?). When the head of KCRW fired you for inadvertently cursing on the air, I felt sort of bad for you. Now I see that Ruth Seymour, iron fisted dictator that she was, was smart to stay as far away from you as possible. Living out of your car? Is that really necessary? What about all those women friends you mention all the time? Hmm, could it be that all those nice, married Armenian and Korean ladies want nothing to do with the psycho bitch who publicly disgraces herself and her family? Do they not want to be poisoned by the toxic meltdown you are so obviously having? Hey, Sandra. You’re a fucking Cal Tech graduate. You could get a real job, something where you actually do something useful, something that’s not all about you. And you could even stop living out of your car. - I used to be one myself, in my teens. Yes, I regret it, and no, I’ve haven’t slept with any married woman since I’ve been an adult. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/2 "2009-11-28T03:35:09Z")
My apologies. Thought I was posting in the pit. Please move it to the correct forum. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/3 "2009-11-28T03:48:16Z")
I didn’t read the whole article, or the whole OP, but I was on board with you at “Volvo Wagon”. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/4 "2009-11-28T03:50:03Z")
I was agog at - well, at much of it, but especially at the end when she talks about how mothers today have long naps as their depression but women used to lock themselves in their bedrooms for hours or days. Hey, women today do that too - if you weren’t so self-absorbed about what your affair did to your tidy little life, perhaps you’d realize that. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/5 "2009-11-28T05:19:07Z")
Good Lord, what a hateful, despicable cow. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/6 "2009-11-28T05:22:10Z")
Nothing to say here, but AYE. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/7 "2009-11-28T05:25:58Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > My apologies. Thought I was posting in the pit. Please move it to the correct forum. Thanks. Done. Enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/8 "2009-11-28T05:56:55Z")
I come across articles like this with some frequency in Slate. Salon and Sunday Styles in the New York Times also share some degree of fatuousness. So there’s a market for this stuff. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/9 "2009-11-28T06:40:50Z")
_Tsing Lo, sweet chariot…_ ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/10 "2009-11-28T07:16:20Z")
What a self involved twat ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/11 "2009-11-28T08:02:04Z")
My god. They paid someone to write that? They pay her? I couldn’t even read the first article. I couldn’t even get past the first PAGE of that article. OTOH I don’t see why this couldn’t be in cafe society. You can use extreme language there, as long as you’re not haranging another SDMP poster. (She’s not, is she? Nope; I would have recognized that horrid writing style I’m sure.) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/12 "2009-11-28T09:27:53Z")
You’d think a magazine of that (former) stature could find someone qualified to write a book review . . . or at least someone who understands what a book review is. A middle-school English student could do better. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/13 "2009-11-28T16:34:46Z")
Yeah, that was something alright. Too be fair, Loh can be a good writer. But lately I think her marital problems have overwhelmed her. It’s pretty silly for the Atlantic to give her a platform to vent her personal issues. She should be given leave till she gets her head together. Or at least have her review books that have nothing to do with marriage and family. Techno-thrillers, say, or military history. Although even there… “When I read about the German Sixth Army being encircled at Stalingrad, I could not help but be reminded of how I, Sandra Tsing Loh, had been encircled by expectations of being a good wife and mother…” ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/14 "2009-11-28T17:06:23Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > My god. They paid someone to write that? They pay her? > > I couldn’t even read the first article. I couldn’t even get past the first PAGE of that article. > > OTOH I don’t see why this couldn’t be in cafe society. You can use extreme language there, as long as you’re not haranging another SDMP poster. (She’s not, is she? Nope; I would have recognized that horrid writing style I’m sure.) I would be surprised if she never checked out the Straight Dope. Cecil does something similar to what she does in her radio short segments, except that he’s witty and interesting. But as far as I know, she’s never posted here. I intended this to be an over the top rant with plenty of mean spirited ad hominem. Not a measured discussion of the strengths and weaknesses of her work, which would be more appropriate for Cafe Society. If the statements she’s been making in her articles and videos are true, then she may have some kind of mental problem, and she really should get help. If she’s exaggerating for effect, well, then she’s just vile. Again, if this just involved her, it wouldn’t be worthy of comment. Strange and sad, yes, but of no importance to anyone else. The problem is that she’s involved her husband and her kids and she attempts to give other people marriage advice. “Wouldn’t it be better,” she seems to suggest, “if we ended our marriages?” Well, it would be better for some people, and worse for others. Nobody should make any decision about their marriage based on Loh’s say-so. Her personal problems are hers alone, and they may or may not have anything to do with “the changing roles of women in society” or whatever bullshit is currently in fashion. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/15 "2009-11-28T18:09:18Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > _Tsing Lo, sweet chariot…_ Do you want me to turn this pit thread around RIGHT NOW? Sit down and behave. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/16 "2009-11-28T18:13:31Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > _Tsing Lo, sweet chariot…_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/17 "2009-11-28T18:32:32Z")
> [@](#): > > _Because what my class of mothers consumes most is education. We know how precarious our world is, and how easily our children can fall out of it. We see the invisible line down the middle of the street that separates the good school district from the bad. We see the line that separates our Prius, hovering silently at the crosswalk, from the corner, where 50 lower-middle-class children wait for the bus. We see, at our Creative meetings, the line that separates state-college folk from Ivy alums. Clearly, the solutions for overwhelmed working mothers include either moving in with some kid-loving older relatives (but they’re Republicans! from Ohio!) or kicking it 1950s style by just letting their kids play with the other kids on the block. In my part of Los Angeles, this means going over to the Mexican-gardener neighbor’s house and jumping on an illegal trampoline with 11 children, five chihuahuas, and three chickens, as we did often enough when my kids were toddlers. But the gardener’s children were English learners, who would gradually (I was told) leach the vocabulary from my English-speaking children—and then my daughters would never test gifted, never have academically motivated peers, never get into the good college-prep classes …_ Yeesh, what a pretentious twat. And a terrible writer. Did she even spend one paragraph on the book she was supposed to be reviewing? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/18 "2009-11-28T18:38:19Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > Are you a fucking high school girl? You most certainly did not fall in love. What you had was a tingly clit from some charming new cock. You gave in. So what? Not the best thing anybody’s ever done, not the worst either. He’s not with you anymore? Of course he’s not with you anymore you immature twit. Married middle aged woman are easy prey for the unscrupulous young cocksman\*. This may be the most I’ve ever laughed at the word “cock.” > [@](#): > > There’s also your naked slander of decent responsible men like your own husband and the husbands of your friends as unmasculine, asexual, “kitchen bitches”. Would you rather they beat you up, leave you to pay all the bills, and duck their share of the cooking and child care? Seriously, WTF do you want, a pony? A Barbie dream house? Oh, dear. Do not create false dichotomies. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/19 "2009-11-28T18:46:22Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Oh, dear. Do not create false dichotomies. Fair enough. There’s no evidence that Loh is one of those women who finds dangerous men exciting. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/20 "2009-11-28T19:04:44Z")
Better to be named after a spiritual than a small hole used for shoelaces. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198.md?page=2)