# Sandra Tsing Loh, time to STFU! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 28, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198 "2009-11-28T03:30:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/21 "2009-11-28T19:12:02Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > But as far as I know, she’s never posted here. Little chance of that, since we don’t have a poster with the user-name **“Sandra Tsing Lo, Who Can Be Reached via The Atlantic Magazine /600 New Hampshire Ave, N.W. / Washington, D.C. 20037.”** When attention whores make it to the pros, freebies are only self-promotional, and therefore anonymity anathema. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/22 "2009-11-28T19:27:37Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Little chance of that, since we don’t have a poster with the user-name **“Sandra Tsing Lo, Who Can Be Reached via The Atlantic Magazine /600 New Hampshire Ave, N.W. / Washington, D.C. 20037.”** > > When attention whores make it to the pros, freebies are only self-promotional, and therefore anonymity anathema. I would be funny if she posted in GD and made every post all about how the topic relates to her. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/23 "2009-11-28T19:44:50Z")
1:27 into the slideshow at [Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off - The Atlantic](http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200907/divorce), and I’m sure every other SDMB member would fall in love with her. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/24 "2009-11-28T20:02:16Z")
Christ, between this and the autism quacks they let write an article, I’m really losing faith in _The Atlantic_. Not to mention Christopher Hitchens’ pathetically ill-informed diatribe about World War One from a couple months back. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/25 "2009-11-28T20:03:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Among my husband’s many excellent qualities, including being a great husband and loving father, he is a phenomenal packer. So in point of fact, all my earthly possessions were neatly boxed, labeled, and tarped. These things happen. They are sad for all involved. Why, oh, why does she feel the need to tell everyone about it? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/26 "2009-11-28T20:06:09Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > I would be funny if she posted in GD and made every post all about how the topic relates to her. Damn! Do a Google Image search on this woman and scroll through the pages. _“Look at Meeee!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/27 "2009-11-28T20:28:26Z")
The worst thing about this dumb bitch is that she gives sexually confident middle-aged women a bad name. That’s goddamned criminal. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/28 "2009-11-28T20:31:29Z")
I clicked the link and thought, “Fucking hell. LiveJournal’s improved its interface.” ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/29 "2009-11-28T20:54:23Z")
I hated her before this thread. Now? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/30 "2009-11-28T21:12:41Z")
Good God. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/31 "2009-11-28T21:24:08Z")
> [@](#): > > “When I read about the German Sixth Army being encircled at Stalingrad, I could not help but be reminded of how I, Sandra Tsing Loh, had been encircled by expectations of being a good wife and mother…” 😃 More Loh: > [@](#): > > I loved a man more than I loved my certainly well-loved children. How could I not, if I were willing to jeopardize so much? Unfortunately, my Michael Chabon wasn’t my kids’ father; my Chabon and I separated, and I became incapacitated. I fell into such a deep depression that I took the wrong sleeping medication and my right side actually went dead. I couldn’t move my right arm! (Oh, the metaphorical richness of not being able to sign one’s own checks!) At the nadir of my incapacitation, I decided that for 72 hours I was going to turn off my cell phone (the one He would call and text to!) and wrap it with its charger in plastic and bury it at the bottom of the trunk of my Volvo. I feel compelled to mention that I had my children with me at the time, so I wouldn’t need to answer phone calls were they to be in some emergency I feel compelled to find a way to make you STOP PUBLISHING. This is stuff you should only be telling your therapist. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/32 "2009-11-28T22:13:54Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > “When I read about the German Sixth Army being encircled at Stalingrad, I could not help but be reminded of how I, Sandra Tsing Loh, had been encircled by expectations of being a good wife and mother…” /me cleans off monitor, curses Larry Borgia ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/33 "2009-11-29T00:35:30Z")
> [@Kal](#): > > I clicked the link and thought, “Fucking hell. LiveJournal’s improved its interface.” _applauds_ ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/34 "2009-11-29T01:51:42Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > If the statements she’s been making in her articles and videos are true, then she may have some kind of mental problem, and she really should get help. If she’s exaggerating for effect, well, then she’s just vile. I think it’s a simple case of hypergraphia. Or perhaps a complex case. At any rate she’s boring. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/35 "2009-11-29T16:15:44Z")
The book review sucked. And she does use way too many words. But I think she did have a good point in her article about marriage. Women’s roles have evolved a lot in the last few decades, but our ideas of marriage have not so much changed as expanded to take in more and more. And it’s failing to work, as evidenced by our high divorce rates. Marriage just can’t be all the things we need it to be these days, and we no longer need a lot of the thing (financial security, etc.) that it used to be. Instead of trying harder and harder to stretch an old institution to fit these new circumstances, wouldn’t it make sense to start considering alternatives? We all know divorce is bad for children, so shouldn’t we start thinking of some way of living and loving that is better for all of us? She could have expressed this all with a little less self-involvement and a lot fewer words, but I think it’s a reasonable subject. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/36 "2009-11-29T16:31:20Z")
That’s a separate, though related debate. Loh’s unhappiness appears to be a personal problem rather than a political one. Is there a better way that doesn’t require us to pay higher taxes so that the state can provide more services to single mothers? Will the putative or actual fathers of children still be required to put up substantial amounts of money for children they have no connection to? What are the alternatives, really? After all, huge segments of the US population already do without marriage - 80 per cent of black children and fifty percent of Latino children are born to single mothers. Neighborhoods where these families predominate are hardly models of stability or educational achievement. Children from conventional two parent families seem to enjoy a substantial advantage in health, and education. Neighborhoods where most of the families have two parents are typically safer too. Correlation or causation? [http://www.city-journal.org/html/16\_1\_marriage\_gap.html](http://www.city-journal.org/html/16_1_marriage_gap.html) ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/37 "2009-11-29T16:48:52Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > _Tsing Lo, sweet chariot…_ SPLORT!! I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there! ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/38 "2009-11-29T16:49:47Z")
Well, the point is that for all it’s benefits, in actual reality marriage is not working and it appears that no amount of fear-inducing articles can halt it’s decline. This is pretty obvious from the divorce rate. And it’s perhaps even more obvious that divorce isn’t working either. So maybe we have to think of a new way to raise our kids besides “staying forever with a guy that I married because we were at one time sexually attracted and thought it could work or else putting the kids through the emotional trauma of divorce.” We are creative people. We can surely think of something that works. Anyway, her constant references to class are frustrating, since she makes it seem like her problems are problems that only affect a very privileged class, and she seems to have no awareness or sympathy for anyone whose circumstances are not like hers. But she seems pretty human to me. She admits she is not a great mom. But now she’s stuck being a mom. It happens to millions of people. Can nobody speak for these people? Do they not deserve a voice? I’d wish it were a stronger writer who was acting as that voice, but I don’t think it’s a story that shouldn’t ever be told. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/39 "2009-11-29T17:40:45Z")
I think you are reading in a depth that just isn’t there. And the how do you address the casual and revolting misandry? Remember men who like to cook are “kitchen bitches.” pathetic. God forbid a man help with all that pesky running-of-the-home that she’s feeling so oppressed by. Anyway, if you marry over age 25 your chance of divorcing within 10 years is NOT “near 50%” it’s actually 24%. > **[sr23\_022.pdf](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_022.pdf)** > > 4.96 MB ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198/40 "2009-11-29T18:33:14Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > I come across articles like this with some frequency in Slate. Salon and Sunday Styles in the New York Times also share some degree of fatuousness. So there’s a market for this stuff. These types of articles are like heroin to the Park Ave., “let them eat cake” crowd. I’d like to slap all of them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandra-tsing-loh-time-to-stfu/519198.md?page=3)