# Sandwich rules **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 21, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219 "2012-08-21T21:37:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/21 "2012-08-21T22:59:57Z")
This is perhaps the most important rule: All major ingredients and condiments shall extend to all edges of the bread, so as to fill the sandwich completely. No one wants to eat a dry, empty crustal border. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/22 "2012-08-21T23:08:37Z")
No yellow mustard. You should not eat anything that color unless you are Sylvester the Cat. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/23 "2012-08-21T23:10:39Z")
I discovered recently that proscioutto does NOT work well in layers as the ham in a sandwich. Those succulent thin little slices when layered together conspire to make the sandwich tough and come off in uneven, chunky bites. I should have known better. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/24 "2012-08-21T23:13:56Z")
One of my favorite BBT scenes… Sheldon: Well, this sandwich is an unmitigated disaster. I asked for turkey and roast beef with lettuce and swiss on whole wheat. Raj: What did they give you? Sheldon: Turkey and roast beef with swiss and lettuce on whole wheat. It’s the right ingredients but in the wrong order. **In a proper sandwich the cheese is adjacent to the bread to create a moisture barrier against the lettuce.** They might as well have dragged this thing through a car wash. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/25 "2012-08-21T23:14:54Z")
Ketchup goes on hot food; hamburgers, french fries, meat loaf, scrambled eggs, etc. Ketchup does not go on cold food; cold cuts, cottage cheese, tunafish, potato chips, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/26 "2012-08-22T00:49:28Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Ketchup goes on hot food; hamburgers, french fries, meat loaf, scrambled eggs, etc. > > Ketchup does not go on cold food; cold cuts, cottage cheese, tunafish, potato chips, etc. I beg to differ. Ketchup shouldn’t go _anywhere_. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/27 "2012-08-22T02:09:26Z")
What about “manaze & 'mater” sammiches? (Sublime.) And ketchup goes on scrambled eggs and brains. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/28 "2012-08-22T02:18:04Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Here, here! Mayonnaise is an abomination worshipped only by the WonderBreadites. hang on, it depends on what kind of sandwich. if you are having a Fried Egg Sandwich you have to _have_ mayo (not miracle whip!) and, along with salt, you need nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/29 "2012-08-22T02:24:03Z")
If a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is not going to be eaten right away, spread the PB thickly on one piece of bread and then also spread the thinnest possible amount of PB on the other piece of bread before spreading the jelly, to seal the bread. Serve with Fritos, which the true PBJ aficionado will use to scrape bits of PB from the edge of the sandwich. Also, jam is preferable to jelly, because it spreads more smoothly. Grape is preferred, but strawberry is acceptable as an alternative. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/30 "2012-08-22T02:25:18Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > 1. The mustard is spread on the meat-side of the sandwich, and is in contact with the meat in the completed sandwich. 1.1: Mustard should not touch the cheese. It makes the cheese… Slimy? Yucky? Something. 1.2 Miracle Whip should not touch anything. Ever. Because it makes everything yucky. I wholeheartedly support the position that all filling should reach every edge of the bread. Moreover, the bread should match - no divorcing slices from the partner it was born with, and for the love of God, put the faces back together to make a tidy sandwich! ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/31 "2012-08-22T02:28:31Z")
Miracle Whip should not exist. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/32 "2012-08-22T02:37:46Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Miracle Whip should not exist. I think it’s just mayo somebody put sugar in. doesn’t make it right, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/33 "2012-08-22T03:02:21Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > If a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is not going to be eaten right away, spread the PB thickly on one piece of bread and then also spread the thinnest possible amount of PB on the other piece of bread before spreading the jelly, to seal the bread. This is what I was going to say. I ate PB&J almost every day in grade school, and putting peanut butter on both slices of bread was crucial to the success of the sandwich. The thought of purple, jelly-fouled bread still makes me gag a little. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/34 "2012-08-22T03:06:06Z")
1. A piece of bread goes on the bottom. 2. Mustard goes on the bread. 3. Meat goes on the mustard 4. Cheese goes on the meat 5. Optional - lettuce, tomato, onion go on the cheese 6. A piece of bread goes on the top Note that only steps 1 and 6 are absolutely necessary. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/35 "2012-08-22T03:19:38Z")
I hear tell that in Norway pretty much all sandwiches are open-face. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/36 "2012-08-22T04:11:56Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Ketchup goes on hot food; hamburgers, french fries, meat loaf, scrambled eggs, etc. > > Ketchup does not go on cold food; cold cuts, cottage cheese, tunafish, potato chips, etc. No Ketchup. _NO KETCHUP!!_ ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/37 "2012-08-22T04:32:19Z")
Ace’s rule - Sandwich bread must be toasted. Subs should be put under a broiler to get a crispy crust. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/38 "2012-08-22T04:44:34Z")
> [@phxjcc](#): > > Yes, mustard must not contact lettuce–acid in the mustard kills the lettuce taste. > > Another one… > > 1. IFF the sandwich has a salad filling (tuna, chicken, etc) and IFF the sandwich is not going to be eaten immediately then a leaf of lettuce must be between the bread and filling on BOTH sides of the sandwich. No soggy bread after 2 hours. > > ^—Helpful tip for those having sandwiches made at the airport to take on the plane. That’s exactly why I don’t put the mustard on the bread; it soaks in a bit and messes with the distinct taste and texture of the bread. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Ketchup goes on hot food; hamburgers, french fries, meat loaf, scrambled eggs, etc. > > Ketchup does not go on cold food; cold cuts, cottage cheese, tunafish, potato chips, etc. What about a meatloaf sandwich? ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/39 "2012-08-22T05:09:27Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > One of my favorite BBT scenes… > > Sheldon: Well, this sandwich is an unmitigated disaster. I asked for turkey and roast beef with lettuce and swiss on whole wheat. > > Raj: What did they give you? > > Sheldon: Turkey and roast beef with swiss and lettuce on whole wheat. It’s the right ingredients but in the wrong order. **In a proper sandwich the cheese is adjacent to the bread to create a moisture barrier against the lettuce.** They might as well have dragged this thing through a car wash. That was the first thing I thought of when I saw the thread title. 🙂 [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/cyEoDzyPCP0/hqdefault.jpg "Big Bang Theory Sheldon Sandwich") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyEoDzyPCP0) ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/40 "2012-08-22T05:12:40Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > What about a meatloaf sandwich? I generally agree with the No Ketchup On (cold) Sandwiches rule, but feel there should be an exception for some leftovers meats, such as on meatloaf or thinly sliced next-day barbecued tri-tip with a little provolone added. I don’t feel strongly enough to go to the mat on that, but will form a splinter sandwich schism if persecuted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219.md?page=3)