# Sandwich rules **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 21, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219 "2012-08-21T21:37:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/61 "2012-08-22T14:52:17Z")
If the sandwich includes tomatoes and cheese, they should be next to one another. Tomatoes and cheese are a marriage made in Heaven and it is a sin to separate them. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/62 "2012-08-22T15:01:55Z")
Sandwich trivia: If you have _ever_ made a sandwich with bread product (bread, bagel, sandwich thin, etc) containing poppy seeds, a careful search of the kitchen will find at least a single poppy seed. /Sandwich trivia ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/63 "2012-08-22T15:53:03Z")
Mayonnaise goes on each piece of bread, and between each layer of whatever gets stacked within. I say “mayonnaise.” Kraft and Hellmann’s products are not mayonnaise. [There’s only one.](http://www.dukesmayo.com/) ---
**Author:** ![csupp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@csupp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/csupp)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/64 "2012-08-22T16:51:07Z")
Typical sandwiches (non-subs) should be served halved. And the cut should **always** be diagonal. ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/65 "2012-08-22T17:05:35Z")
The only time sweet pickles should go on a sandwich is tuna salad. The top layer of bread should never be too crusty or it will cut the roof of your mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/66 "2012-08-22T17:05:48Z")
True story: I once made a sandwich and was too lazy to slice it in half. I figured it would taste the same anyway. As I began to eat it, somebody else walked into the kitchen and I actually felt _embarrassment_ from being seen eating an unsliced sandwich. It felt a bit like getting caught drinking directly from the milk jug. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/67 "2012-08-22T17:23:15Z")
See, I feel embarrassed when someone sees me eating a sliced sandwich as if I got caught drinking out of a sippy cup. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/68 "2012-08-22T17:30:54Z")
Hot meatloaf requires gravy. Ketchup is to be reserved for next day, when the leftover meatloaf is cold and can be sandwichized. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/69 "2012-08-22T17:36:45Z")
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches should be composed of smooth peanut butter and grape jelly. Crunchy peanut butter puts the focus on the crunch rather than the smooth melding of peanut butter and jelly. Grape is just bland enough to add sweetness without making you think of another fruit like apricots or oranges. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/70 "2012-08-22T17:46:41Z")
Commercial mayo is pretty bland. Home made mayo is awesome. My home made garlic mayo will put hairs on your chest. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/71 "2012-08-22T18:12:46Z")
I put mayo on the bottom slice of bread, mustard on the top. Then the meat. Then the cheese. Then the pickles (DILL, not sweet, drained). Then the tomato (salted). Then the lettuce (which creates the moisture barrier between the tomato and the top slice). Fried egg sandwiches are just wrong if they don’t also have cheese and bacon on them. The cheese needs to be in between so the bacon and the egg melts it well. And it has to be American cheese. NO MAYO. Although my husband likes jelly on his. And I never cut my sandwiches in half until I was an adult and hardly ever do so now. I am told it is an etiquette rule to do so for hamburgers, however. Ketchup does not belong on any sandwich, ever. Just hamburgers and hotdogs and french fries. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/72 "2012-08-22T18:17:28Z")
1. The first rule of sandwiches is we don’t talk about sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/73 "2012-08-22T18:23:48Z")
Bread and butter pickles go ON the sandwich, in slices. Dill pickles go NEXT TO the sandwich, in spears. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/74 "2012-08-22T18:32:31Z")
People, people, enough talk of what goes on fried egg sandwiches. Everybody who’s anybody knows that it’s **salsa** what belongs on fried egg sandwiches. And cheese. And ham. So shall it be written, so shall it be done. On earth as it is in heaven. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/75 "2012-08-22T18:34:42Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I understand I’m in the minority here. For me, however, no mayo, no mustard, no ketchup. (Not even on a fried egg sandwich.) Just meat, cheese, and maybe some lettuce and/or onion. Minority maybe, but you’re not alone. I like to be able to actually taste the main ingredient. And I hate comments about “eating it dry”. If the bread is really dry, slathering weird goop on it won’t help. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/76 "2012-08-22T19:53:50Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > Ketchup does not belong on any sandwich, ever. Just hamburgers and hotdogs and french fries. Uh-oh. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/77 "2012-08-22T20:26:06Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Mustard is spread generously on BOTH slices of bread. I do not subscribe to the Mayonnaise Heresy. According to my spouse, mustard is ONLY spread on the meat, never on the bread. I don’t know where she got that crazy idea. Oh, and another rule: peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches are folded, not cut. Otherwise the flavor runs out. My brother taught me that as a wee bairn, so it must be true. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/78 "2012-08-22T20:32:22Z")
All cold sandwiches _must_ be eaten with chips; hot ones with fries. If there’s no form of potatoey side than I don’t even want the sandwich ( and I do not mean the abomination that is potato salad). ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/79 "2012-08-22T20:34:18Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > That remarkable emulsion Did anyone else read that as ‘embolism’? Probably what you’ll get if you eat too much mayo. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/80 "2012-08-22T20:54:16Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > All cold sandwiches _must_ be eaten with chips; hot ones with fries. If there’s no form of potatoey side than I don’t even want the sandwich ( and I do not mean the abomination that is potato salad). Fine, I’ll have your sandwiches. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219.md?page=5)