# Sandwich rules **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 21, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219 "2012-08-21T21:37:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/81 "2012-08-22T22:06:10Z")
> [@DonLogan](#): > > [ul][/ul] > > [ul]If you can’t pick it up and take a bite from top to bottom, it’s not a sandwich, it’s just a pile of food.[/ul] Can’t agree any more strongly. “open-faced sandwiches” are not sandwiches they are piles of bullshit! I think this falls more into the Sandwich Tips than rules, but in a PB and J the peanut butter should be spread out to the edges of all four sides of the bread. This make virtual dams of peanut butter to keep the jelly from slopping out. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/82 "2012-08-22T22:53:48Z")
Mayonnaise is not food. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/83 "2012-08-22T23:05:16Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > Can’t agree any more strongly. “open-faced sandwiches” are not sandwiches they are piles of bullshit! I actually grew up on open-faced sandwiches. I’m happy to give them an other name, though, if need be, given that they are not “sandwiched” between anything. That said, with the type of bread I grew up with–mostly Eastern European rye bread, a proper sandwich between two slices of bread would be starch overkill. The bread works fine for a corned beef or pastrami sandwich, where you have two or three inches of meat, but for a regular sandwich, one slice is just right. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/84 "2012-08-22T23:13:25Z")
An open face sandwich is an “Open Face Sandwich”. It’s not a sandwich per se, but if properly identified it’s no different than the term “Sea Horse”. We know they’re not regular horses. Perfectly legitimate term to use. You just can’t say that an open face sandwich is a “sandwich” according to the formal definition. Now if it’s made right, it’s just a sandwich that hasn’t been closed up yet anyway. ---
**Author:** ![flano1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f14d63/32.png) [@flano1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flano1)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/85 "2012-08-22T23:38:36Z")
1. Second Rule of Sandwich Club : there are no rules. ( btw Hold the Mayo, Virginia! ) ---
**Author:** ![Tara57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Tara57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tara57)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/86 "2012-08-22T23:54:38Z")
The sandwich must be cut along two diagonals, making four triangles. Triangles taste the best. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/87 "2012-08-23T00:03:58Z")
My rule is that there be no butter or margarine in the sandwich. Actually, I only eat cheese sandwiches. Also the occasional chicken sandwich, with just chicken in it. Yes, I’m a picky eater. ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/88 "2012-08-23T00:11:44Z")
If you don’t like mayonnaise you don’t like sandwiches. You may as well profess to love rock music but hate the sound of guitars. I mean really. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/89 "2012-08-23T00:17:46Z")
For those of you who loathe mayo, this article may interest you: > **[How To Make Vegan Mayonnaise](https://www.seriouseats.com/how-to-make-vegan-mayonnaise-mayo)** > > What's stopping you from using something completely different from eggs to form the base of mayonnaise? Turns out, nothing. By removing the egg and subbing in silken tofu or even roasted eggplant, for example, you get totally vegan mayo. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/90 "2012-08-23T00:20:11Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > If you don’t like mayonnaise you don’t like sandwiches. You may as well profess to love rock music but hate the sound of guitars. I mean really. I _like_ mayo, but about 80% of my sandwiches don’t have mayo. I hardly think it’s a necessity for sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/91 "2012-08-23T00:22:09Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I _like_ mayo, but about 80% of my sandwiches don’t have mayo. I hardly think it’s a necessity for sandwiches. I use mayo on most meat-based sandwiches (exception being sausage biscuits), but have known people who would add it to PB&J. (shudder) My grandfather’s habit of putting butter/margarine on a PB&J was bad enough. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/92 "2012-08-23T01:57:46Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > No yellow mustard. You should not eat anything that color unless you are Sylvester the Cat. French’s Yellow Mustard is just the thing for bologna sandwiches. > [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > 1.1: Mustard should not touch the cheese. It makes the cheese… Slimy? Yucky? Something. Disagree. Sweet-hot mustard and Cheddar sandwiches are good (with mayon on one side). > [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > 1.2 Miracle Whip should not touch anything. Ever. Because it makes everything yucky. I grew up with Miracle Whip, but I started using mayo after I became an adult. Still, it’s good on Buddig sliced-pressed beef on toast. (Or on avocados.) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/93 "2012-08-23T02:15:27Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I use mayo on most meat-based sandwiches (exception being sausage biscuits), but have known people who would add it to PB&J. (shudder) My grandfather’s habit of putting butter/margarine on a PB&J was bad enough. I personally do mustard and/or pickled peppers instead of mayo on most my meat-based sandwiches, but it does depend. It’s the tomato sandwiches that always get the mayo at my house. I’ve never tried the whole PB & mayo thing, though. I do mix my peanut butter with savory ingredients (PB & hot peppers and/or cheese was a staple for me, and I’ve done PB & deli meats), but I never quite saw how or why mayo would work with something already as fatty and greasy as peanut butter. That said, I won’t knock it until I try it. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/94 "2012-08-23T02:32:21Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I grew up with Miracle Whip, but I started using mayo after I became an adult. Still, it’s good on Buddig sliced-pressed beef on toast. (Or on avocados.) I could have written this post (except for the Avacado part… didn’t have too many in the 60’s in Indiana). I can still be transported back to my 6 year old self when eating Buddig Smoked Turkey on Wonder Bread with plenty of Miracle Whip. I don’t admit this to many, but the first sandwich I learned to make was a “mayo” sandwich. Slice of Wonder Bread, Miracle Whip, fold it in half and you are an independent 4 year old. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/95 "2012-08-23T02:48:52Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > I could have written this post (except for the Avacado part… didn’t have too many in the 60’s in Indiana). > > I can still be transported back to my 6 year old self when eating Buddig Smoked Turkey on Wonder Bread with plenty of Miracle Whip. > > I don’t admit this to many, but the first sandwich I learned to make was a “mayo” sandwich. Slice of Wonder Bread, Miracle Whip, fold it in half and you are an independent 4 year old. I’m guessing you’re Caucasian? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/96 "2012-08-23T03:21:51Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > I’m guessing you’re Caucasian? 😉 Why on earth would you assu… yes ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/97 "2012-08-23T17:06:31Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > Bread and butter pickles go ON the sandwich, in slices. > > Dill pickles go NEXT TO the sandwich, in spears. Bread and butter pickles can go sit beside Miracle Whip in hell. Re: mayo sandwiches - my first sandwich ever was a butter sandwich. White bread with butter on one slice, nothing else. My relatives still do this occasionally. How do you eat an open faced sandwich? Pick it up like a piece of toast? ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/98 "2012-08-23T17:12:43Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > Re: mayo sandwiches - my first sandwich ever was a butter sandwich. White bread with butter on one slice, nothing else. My relatives still do this occasionally. That’s a perfectly fine snack, but it’s not a sandwich. It’s bread and butter. ---
**Author:** ![Bilbo1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bilbo1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bilbo1967)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/99 "2012-08-23T17:29:24Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > My rule is that there be no butter or margarine in the sandwich. > > Actually, I only eat cheese sandwiches. Also the occasional chicken sandwich, with just chicken in it. Yes, I’m a picky eater. Oh come on; there **has to be** butter (not margarine) in a sandwich. If there isn’t, it’s not a sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/100 "2012-08-23T19:56:46Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Hot meatloaf requires gravy. Ketchup is to be reserved for next day, when the leftover meatloaf is cold and can be sandwichized. I put gravy on meatloaf. Tomato gravy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219.md?page=6)