# Sandwich rules **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 21, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219 "2012-08-21T21:37:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/101 "2012-08-23T19:56:59Z")
> [@Bilbo1967](#): > > Oh come on; there **has to be** butter (not margarine) in a sandwich. If there isn’t, it’s not a sandwich. Are you European, by chance? I like butter in my sandwiches from time to time, too. In fact, I grew up on buttered open-faced sandwiches–my parents are Polish. But Americans just don’t do that. At least not in my experience. The absence or presence of butter has nothing to do with something being a sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Bilbo1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bilbo1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bilbo1967)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/102 "2012-08-23T19:59:04Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Are you European, by chance? I like butter in my sandwiches from time to time, too. In fact, I grew up on buttered open-faced sandwiches–my parents are Polish. But Americans just don’t do that. At least not in my experience. The absence or presence of butter has nothing to do with something being a sandwich. I am European (English), and yes it does. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/103 "2012-08-23T20:03:07Z")
I occasionally like butter on my bread when I have a tuna sandwich. Lunch today was a sandwich made of peanut butter, Nutella, and banana on wheat. ---
**Author:** ![Bilbo1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bilbo1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bilbo1967)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/104 "2012-08-23T20:07:43Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I occasionally like butter on my bread when I have a tuna sandwich. > > Lunch today was a sandwich made of peanut butter, Nutella, and banana on wheat. That sounds so awful it must taste divine. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/105 "2012-08-23T20:17:58Z")
> [@Bilbo1967](#): > > I am European (English), and yes it does. So what do you call something sandwiched between two pieces of bread without butter? I was also under the impression that the Earl of Sandwich just had plain bread with meat tucked in between, but I wasn’t there and there’s no pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Bilbo1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bilbo1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bilbo1967)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/106 "2012-08-23T20:43:38Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > So what do you call something sandwiched between two pieces of bread without butter? I was also under the impression that the Earl of Sandwich just had plain bread with meat tucked in between, but I wasn’t there and there’s no pictures. Well, we’ve improved things greatly since those early days. It’ll probably make it’s way to the colonies eventually. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/107 "2012-08-23T20:55:34Z")
> [@csupp](#): > > Typical sandwiches (non-subs) should be served halved. And the cut should **always** be diagonal. Why diagonal? So it’s easier for the contents to fall out? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/108 "2012-08-23T21:00:26Z")
They taste better that way. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/109 "2012-08-23T21:00:29Z")
mustard on the meat if under lettuce will make for a slippery sandwich. the bread should be thick and substantial with the mustard embedded in the upper slice bread pores. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/110 "2012-08-23T21:31:26Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > They taste better that way. yes, it’s a well known fact that the triangle is the tastiest of all polygons. Octagons are also good, but it’s just too much work to cut a sandwich into octagons. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/111 "2012-08-23T22:55:05Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > Why diagonal? So it’s easier for the contents to fall out? Easier to eat. You’ve got the parts of the sandwich where it tapers to a point that you can fit easily into your mouth to get you started. Whereas with a straight cut you’re facing a rectangle shape with nothing but a solid face or, at best, a right angle to bite into. You try to bite off a piece of that and you’re likely to end up with condiments smeared on your cheek. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/112 "2012-08-24T00:56:06Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Lunch today was a sandwich made of peanut butter, Nutella, and banana on wheat. This sounds good. ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/113 "2012-08-24T12:58:28Z")
There’s a commercial running these days for mayo, I think - it shows a man making a completely honked-up BLT, with the last step in construction being the slathering of mayo _directly on the bacon!_. Makes me shiver every time I see it. Philistine! ---
**Author:** ![Tblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tblue)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/114 "2012-08-28T11:39:15Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > yes, it’s a well known fact that the triangle is the tastiest of all polygons. Octagons are also good, but it’s just too much work to cut a sandwich into octagons. Brushed with a Pratchett book, it would become a sandwich of pure Octarine. So yes, safest to stick to triangles. Also, my grandmother, on wielding dainty little cucumber slices, would ensure they are “rested for a moment on the cutting board, with a light sprinkling of salt” to alleviate sandwich sog. But no, she is not a crust-cutter. These slices were destined for utilitarian sandwiches thankyouverymuch. The Gran and I are generic Condimentalists. No minority sect for us! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/115 "2012-08-28T14:34:20Z")
For cucumber sandwiches I put the slices in a sieve and lightly salt them, and put the sieve over a bowl. The salt draws the excess water out. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/116 "2012-08-28T15:00:22Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Here, here! Mayonnaise is an abomination worshipped only by the WonderBreadites. Blasphemer! To the Stake! ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/117 "2012-08-28T15:04:40Z")
My latest sandwich rule, which I only created a scant few months ago, has left me wondering why I have never encountered a sandwich made following this simple instruction: “Cheese on the bottom.” After years of never feeling like I was getting full flavor out of my cheese, as it sat stacked above the meat (and occasionally above some of the vegetable compliment), I attempted a sandwich with the dare I say bold choice of putting the thinly sliced cheddar directly upon the lightly-mayoed bottom slice of bread. Heaven. That sharp cheddar bite chased eagerly by the rest of the delicious flavors; turkey, pickle, sprouts, whatever your larder might hold . . . well, I am never going back. And I suggest that you, friend, follow suit! ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/118 "2012-08-28T15:11:06Z")
No mention yet of Michael Showalter’s “Ten Commandments of Making a Sandwich”? [ol] [li]Bread is king.[/li][li]Mustard goes with everything. Examples: bread, chicken cutlet, mustard. You have a delicious sandwich. Bread, corn on the cob, mustard. You have a delicious sandwich. Bread, box of pencils, mustard. You have a delicious sandwich. Bread, mustard, another KIND of mustard, you have a delicious sandwich.[/li][li]Nothing’s off limits, everything’s in play.[/li][li]Toast it.[/li][li]Pickle.[/li][li]When I said nothing’s off limits everything’s in play, I was NOT referring to sun dried tomatoes.[/li][li]Missing link. Take a step back. What’s missing? Be critical.[/li][li](there’s no number 8)[/li][li]Have fun.[/li][li]The end. Do not fear the end. The end is life.[/li][/ol] ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/119 "2012-08-28T21:11:33Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > 1.2 Miracle Whip should not touch anything. Ever. Because it makes everything yucky. M. Whip was invented for two things: i) Liverwurst (or “braunschweiger” if you’re feeling like classing it up) on soft white bread and ii) bacon and fried egg sammiches. If no bacon, mayo is preferred. Oh–I like it in tuna salad too. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219/120 "2012-08-28T21:17:10Z")
It would never have occurred to me to put Miracle Whip on liverwurst. Or why that would even be a good match. A nice sharp mustard for me, and possibly onions if I feel like cutting them, thankyouverymuch. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-rules/632219.md?page=7)