# Sandwich thrower found not guilty of assault **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 7, 2025, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657 "2025-11-07T07:19:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/81 "2025-11-08T03:10:11Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > If a prosecutor can get a grand jury A **good** prosecutor can get a grand jury to indicit a ham sandwich. This was absolutely not a good prosecutor in any sense of the word. As with all Trump appointees she is an incompetent fascist lackey. Without Trump she wouldn’t get a job taking notes at a small town ambulance chaser, this is by design. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/82 "2025-11-08T03:30:55Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > are they going to put the sandwich on trial in light of his acquittal?? “If you can [put a pig on trial](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_trial), you can put ham on trial!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/83 "2025-11-08T12:50:37Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > But there’s a non-zero chance that Trump will declare that Dunn is a terrorist and order the military to kill him. And maybe the jury as well. Much greater chance, as we’ve seen with his other enemies, that he’ll find himself dealing with his finances getting turned over with a fine-tooth comb. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/84 "2025-11-08T13:38:53Z")
A question about double jeopardy: Now that he’s acquitted, this guy can’t face the exact same charge again. But could the prosecution find some other crime that could be contorted to match this incident, and charge him with that? ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/85 "2025-11-08T14:04:38Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > This was clearly an assault with a deli weapon! I laughed. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/86 "2025-11-08T14:59:53Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Now that he’s acquitted, this guy can’t face the exact same charge again. But could the prosecution find some other crime that could be contorted to match this incident, and charge him with that? It could be done in theory but it’s not obvious to me what that could be? Like are you going to prosecute him for buying a subway sandwich with intent to use it as a weapon? ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/87 "2025-11-08T15:01:14Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > he’ll find himself dealing with his finances getting turned over with a fine-tooth comb Yup and if he is a naturalized citizen (he’s not AFAIK) then you bet they are looking for anything that could be used to revoke his citizenship. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/88 "2025-11-08T17:58:14Z")
Bolognious assault? ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/89 "2025-11-08T19:29:26Z")
No, but if the protestor went out, bought a cake and then threw it at the guy, he could be liable for a tort(e). ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2025, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/90 "2025-11-08T20:07:11Z")
Pretty good bet that somebody somewhere is working on an amendment to that law to take that inconvenient word _forcible_ out. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2025, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/91 "2025-11-09T00:12:24Z")
I went into Subway last week and almost got an assort and buttery. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2025, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/92 "2025-11-09T02:08:37Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > I understand that the case went awry when it was shown that the sub did not explode as was alleged and that only a bit of onion wound up on the cop’s badge. Well, there you go. A crime was committed [under 18 U.S. Code § 1361](https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/1361). “Whoever willfully injures or commits any depredation against any property of the United States, or of any department or agency thereof” Getting onion on his badge is a clear depredation of property belonging to the U.S. government. Who will take seriously a Border Patrol agent with a stained badge smelling of onion? They should’ve “thrown the book” at him and made sure he did the 1 year max sentence. Alternately, if ultrasensitive tests of the sandwich and/or its condiments had yielded even the faintest trace of fentanyl, an assault with a deadly weapon charge could’ve stuck. The sandwich guy is lucky that the prosecution was so inept. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2025, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/93 "2025-11-10T05:37:26Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > . But I can’t help but think some of the juror’s were motivated by the desire to give the federal government a big middle finger. If they hadn’t tried for Felony in the first place, probably nobody would have heard of this, and his lawyer (assuming he had one) probably would have advised a guilty plea. I think it was the initial overreach that saved him. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/94 "2025-11-14T17:19:54Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > They should’ve “thrown the book” at him “A Hero Ain’t Nothing But a Sandwich”? ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2025, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/95 "2025-11-15T05:08:01Z")
“The Count of Monte Cristo” ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2025, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/96 "2025-11-15T17:48:48Z")
Not the wurst pun, but far from the breast. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2025, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/97 "2025-11-15T20:02:37Z")
Is it contemptuous to sing “Greatest American Hero” in a courtroom? ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2025, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/98 "2025-11-15T20:31:15Z")
It’s contemptuous to sing it anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2025, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/99 "2025-11-15T21:05:33Z")
Believe you? Or not? ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2025, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657/100 "2025-11-16T22:31:00Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > It’s contemptuous to sing it anywhere. I laughed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sandwich-thrower-found-not-guilty-of-assault/1024657.md?page=4)