# SanibelMan is not my friend **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 4, 1999, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474 "1999-10-04T18:51:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/41 "1999-10-07T05:59:00Z")
Mmmmmm…_lithium_ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/42 "1999-10-07T01:28:00Z")
Court is back in session. First, the Defendant posed no objections to the Defendant’s “witness motion”. The motion is granted. In his opening statement, the Plaintiff in his first sentence of his desired outcome stated, if he wins, he wishes the Defendant be held from his presence. In his second, the Plaintiff insults the Defendant. In his third, his third is an assertion with no facts presented to back it up: no cites. Also, this is not an “outcome desire”. Fourth, Assertion. No cites. Not a desired outcome. Fifth, reiteration of first sentence, with two insults. 2) Full of opinion. The plaintiff does not want to be followed, disagreed with, responded to in a snide manner, or to have the Defendant drop his dog. The Defendant responds by requesting 1) Plaintiff be removed from board. Then makes an assertion with no cites. 2) Assertion; no cites. Refutation of Plaintiff’s statement in wrong section. 3) Defendant refutes Plaintiff’s “dog” and “politeness” assertions. 4) No new points. Gentlemen, your arguement boils down to this: Plaintiff – Leave me alone, respect my family, don’t pick up my dog. Defendant – Remove the plaintiff from the board. I need to hear no more. The court is ready to rule: This case is dismissed. Neither the defended presented a single fact, save for personal experiences outside this board. There is no way to verify any of this, and if there was, the Court could care less. Your petty differences outside this board should be left outside this board. Do you hear the Lioness bitching to the Lion that he left the seat up on the toilet again? I urge both of you to temper your posts for a while. I order each of you to cease the attacks on one another immediately. Furthermore, should there be future instances of abuse between the two of you, the Court will impose damages on both of you. Do not even refer to each other in your posts. My suggestion is you stay away from each other in your personal lives, and don’t take anything personally from each others posts. As an aside, both of your responses failed to follow the format the court stipulated. Court is adjourned. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/43 "1999-10-07T01:28:00Z")
Earlier this evening, I recieved the following message from ChiefScott over E-mail: > [@](#): > > Right now the Challenge-Athena Satellite is off line. Being on an aircraft > carrier in the middle of the Atlantic does have its problems at times. The first thing they shut down when band-width is reduced is internet access. I cannot guarantee when I will be able to respond. My apologies. > ChiefScott Just thought I’d let everyone know. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/44 "1999-10-07T02:53:00Z")
A murmur runs through the court, even though running is not allowed. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/45 "1999-10-07T03:12:00Z")
ChiefScott, _NOT… SO… **FAST!** _ I decide to play along with your game, and this is how it ends? I E-mailed you after your initial post. I told you that there was no need to go through with this - GuanYu was just bitching, and if let the TM take care of him ;), the thread would have died. But since you started your little “court”, I decided to play along. I tried to follow your rules, even though I didn’t understand what it was you wanted out of the trial. If you hadn’t posted, I would have asked GuanYu where it was that I called him my friend. And, while I’m on the subject, where did I say that? My most recent post (as posted before this thread) used the word friend in quotes - “friend” - implying sarcasm, or at least I thought so. So… what was the outcome of the trial supposed to be? He said I wasn’t his friend. I agree. When I made my opening, I tried to follow the rules you posted as closely as possible. Certainly you realized that there could be no truely verifiable facts in this case - hell, I could have been making the whole thing up. So what was it that you expected from this trial? (Oh, by the way, I thought that was kinda ironic how both ChiefScott and I posted at the same time…) ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/46 "1999-10-07T03:33:00Z")
Neither of you gave a single cite to prove your allegations. You said “He has not been able to contribute maturely to this board, and has only insulted its members.” No proof, no cite. I could assert that moriah flirted with me in this thread. Moriah – _“May a member of the gallery sit in your lap and kiss you upon your cheek every time Your Honor makes a bold and just ruling in order that that same member of the gallery may show proper appreciation for Your Honor’s manly integrity?”_ Do you see the correlation between an assertion and a fact now? Neither of you had a significant board compaint which should take up the time of this Court, let alone hard drive space. Re-read this thread and realize just how juvenile your complaints were. I was willing to deal with you as intelligent adults. You didn’t respond in the requested format and the posts that were made were sophomoric. My decision stands. Get on with your lives, both of you. You’ve still got a lot of maturing to do. It may sound harsh, but the real world’s a harsh place young man. ---
**Author:** ![BenDover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c77e96/32.png) [@BenDover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BenDover)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/47 "1999-10-07T04:29:00Z")
ChiefScott, might I refer you to : [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000250.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000250.html) ? GY’s very first post on the board, after reading the thread where SM asked about privacy, etc. because his friend who wanted to sign up was paranoid about his e-mail addy. One can see why he was worried - is there such a thing as an ‘e-mail bomb’? * * * The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/48 "1999-10-07T04:38:00Z")
No score. It’s a draw. So we go to sudden death. A quick show of hands, please . . . Fans of SanibelMan, please speak up. GuanYu supporters, do the same. Those who favor putting them both in a sack with a rabid wolverine, y’all jump in too. I’m for option 3, myself. But I’m a dick that way. -andros- * * * “Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!” Exceptions? None! -Doc Bronner ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/49 "1999-10-07T05:27:00Z")
> [@](#): > > The plaintiff does not want to be followed, **disagreed with, responded to in a snide manner,** or to have the Defendant drop his dog. (bolding by Kat) He’s definitely on the wrong message board then. * * * “The secret of life is, there ain’t no secret, and you don’t get your money back.” ---
**Author:** ![Temujin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Temujin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Temujin)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/50 "1999-10-07T09:30:00Z")
Hey, SanibelMan! > [@](#): > > I decide to play along with your game, and this is how it ends? > … > I decided to play along. I tried to follow your rules > … > I tried to follow the rules you posted as closely as possible. > … > So what was it that you expected from this trial? Sometimes, life is more enjoyable if you don’t try so hard to please everyone and meet expectations. I have to admit, I feel kind of sorry for GuanYu after all this. He’s posted a grand total of 8 times so far, much of it in self-defense. What’s the deal? Can’t we give a guy more of a chance than that? I can understand why GuanYu was annoyed by your posts in the Kellibelli thread. From the outset, you went out of your way to treat him like a pariah. GuanYu was a pretty good sport to play along with this silly trial, which reminded me of something straight out of a middle school cafeteria. I’m not saying his posts have elicited a lot of great thoughts. But I don’t see any justification for this gang bang. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/51 "1999-10-07T12:09:00Z")
Mmmm…_gang bang_ must be the lithium talking… ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/52 "1999-10-07T12:16:00Z")
BenDover – True. That would have been an excellent cite to proove one’s point. Sad as it is, neither the Defendant nor Plaintiff offered a single cite as proof. If evidence isn’t offered up in a trial it cannot be considered. My hands were tied. It didn’t seem as though either young man had a real complaint, except that they each gets on the others nerves. So I dismissed the case. Hey, this trial idea was worth a try. OK, it didn’t work out as I’d planned, but at least I tried something a little different than letting the TM choose sides and exchange pitiful little flames for three pages. I’d like to try it again if PapaBear and Doc Fi ever mix it up. Some forethought, maturity and a legitimate gripe may make for an interesting thread. And as everyone knows, there was no freakin’ way I could, or can, enforce any decision or punishment. Can we just chalk it up as a good intention which fell short? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/53 "1999-10-07T13:48:00Z")
Does this mean I have to get off the swingset now? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/54 "1999-10-07T16:17:00Z")
Does this mean you are running for reelection, ChiefScott? Do you need a campaign manager? I found this thread to be quite humorous and a nice departure from the norm. Nice try, Your Honor. * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 1999, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/55 "1999-10-08T21:52:00Z")
Judge Scott explained: > [@](#): > > I could assert that moriah flirted with me in this thread. > > ``` > Moriah -- *"May a member of the gallery sit in your lap and kiss you upon your cheek every time Your Honor makes a bold and just ruling in order that that same member of the gallery may show proper appreciation for Your Honor's manly integrity?"* > > ``` Oh, no. That wasn’t me flirting with you. I was pimpin’ my sister. I figure once she’s married off to a judge, I’d just mooch off of you. But I’m flattered. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 1999, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474/56 "1999-10-10T05:00:00Z")
But I’m just a low-paid civil servant meting out justice in a forum where I receive no respect and garner no accolades. Woe is me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sanibelman-is-not-my-friend/2474.md?page=2)