# Santa feels the bite **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2016, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491 "2016-08-30T16:31:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/1 "2016-08-30T16:31:26Z")
An incursion of melting from the Eastern Siberian Sea has brought open water within 300 miles of the North Pole, threatening to submerge Santa’s workshop. [http://forum.arctic-sea-ice.net/index.php/topic,382.msg88303.html#new](http://forum.arctic-sea-ice.net/index.php/topic,382.msg88303.html#new) (I hope that works. Click on the image when you get there to see the ice dance.) Of course, it’s just another setback for the jolly old elf. A number of his reindeer were just [killed by lightning](http://www.theverge.com/2016/8/29/12690402/lightning-strike-kills-norway-reindeer-death-why-science), threatening his distribution network. Furthermore, his magic system of centering the workshop on the ever drifting ice is on the fritz, which means a bunch of shivering elves holding a GPS device have to manually shove it into position every few hours. ---
**Author:** ![NeonMadman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@NeonMadman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NeonMadman)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/2 "2016-08-30T18:39:01Z")
As I understand it, Santa has had pontoons installed on the bottom of his workshop against just such a possibility. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/3 "2016-08-30T18:43:34Z")
But Can the Fortress of Solitude float, or will Superman have Aquaman for a landlord now? ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/4 "2016-08-30T19:48:49Z")
> [@NeonMadman](#): > > As I understand it, Santa has had pontoons installed on the bottom of his workshop against just such a possibility. :rolleyes: No, I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your parents were just protecting you from the harshness of adult life. I remember when I first learned that Santa doesn’t have pontoons. I think I cried for days. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/5 "2016-08-30T20:02:27Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > …a bunch of shivering elves holding a GPS device have to manually shove it into position every few hours. Which, oddly enough, is also how they help the jolly old couple have sex. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/6 "2016-08-30T20:26:07Z")
In related news, a lightning strike in Norway has [killed](http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/30/world/europe/hardangervidda-norway-lightning-reindeer.html?module=WatchingPortal®ion=c-column-middle-span-region&pgType=Homepage&action=click&mediaId=wide&state=standard&contentPlacement=11&version=internal&contentCollection=www.nytimes.com&contentId=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2016%2F08%2F30%2Fworld%2Feurope%2Fhardangervidda-norway-lightning-reindeer.html&eventName=Watching-article-click&_r=0) over 300 reindeer replacements. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/7 "2016-08-30T21:40:21Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Which, oddly enough, is also how they help the jolly old couple have sex. _Mrs._ Claus is the one who’s pissed off–he only comes once a year. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/8 "2016-08-30T21:47:19Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > No, I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your parents were just protecting you from the harshness of adult life. I remember when I first learned that Santa doesn’t have pontoons. I think I cried for days. Santa just buried his head in Mrs Claus’ pontoons. Then he made a motorboat sound. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Mama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5ac83/32.png) [@Atomic\_Mama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Mama)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/9 "2016-08-30T21:48:11Z")
Dontcha know? Santa Claus lives in North Pole, ALASKA … outside Fairbanks. WAY interior. He’s facing no harm. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/10 "2016-08-30T22:18:07Z")
Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm! Sounds like Christmas Dinner will be Surf & Turf this year…! You know Lobster and Grouper, Calamari and Nemo, you know Yellow-Fin and Salmon and friends from far below… But do you recall The one helps them taste best of all…? Butter, the liquid stain-gear Had a very yellow nose! And drawn, with his friends dunked in it You would even say, “It Goes…!” ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/11 "2016-08-31T00:26:35Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > In related news, a lightning strike in Norway has [killed](http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/30/world/europe/hardangervidda-norway-lightning-reindeer.html?module=WatchingPortal®ion=c-column-middle-span-region&pgType=Homepage&action=click&mediaId=wide&state=standard&contentPlacement=11&version=internal&contentCollection=www.nytimes.com&contentId=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2016%2F08%2F30%2Fworld%2Feurope%2Fhardangervidda-norway-lightning-reindeer.html&eventName=Watching-article-click&_r=0) over 300 reindeer replacements. Psst, that was part of the OP. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/12 "2016-08-31T03:04:03Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > Psst, that was part of the OP. 😛 Okay, I’m losing it. ---
**Author:** ![NeonMadman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@NeonMadman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NeonMadman)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-feels-the-bite/764491/13 "2016-09-01T15:00:14Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > But Can the Fortress of Solitude float, or will Superman have Aquaman for a landlord now? Depends on which fortress you mean. The \*REAL \*Fortress of Solitude, from when I was a kid, was built into the side of an actual mountain on a land mass, so there would be nothing to worry about. I’m not sure what that crystal thingy that they introduced in the 1978 Superman movie is made of, so I can’t comment on whether it will be affected by melting ice.