# Santa Reads The Doper Mailbag **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-reads-the-doper-mailbag/94583 "2001-11-21T13:50:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-reads-the-doper-mailbag/94583/61 "2001-11-30T12:30:07Z")
Ha! Ayesha, you’re all over it. Except I think it’s actually beaf, not beef. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-reads-the-doper-mailbag/94583/62 "2001-11-30T13:46:53Z")
Dear Santa, Please refer to that list I sent you a while back for my wish list. You remember, the one with a list of Dopers I most want to find under my tree tied up with red ribbons. Love, Arden. PS. Anyway I can talk you out of that buggy whip? * * * Santa, I would love a new litter box, a scrathcing post, and one of those toy mice with the little wheels so that it rolls around. Oh, and some of those balls with the little bells in them for me to chase under the fridge. That would be purrrrrfect. Kitty licks! Cougarfang * * * Dear Santa, Can I get some new balls, please? Sincerely, Crunchy Frog. * * * Hey! You in the red! Can you make these %$#@&? experiements work so I can get out of this frakin’lab to see the light of day?? Frustrated in Penn, Verrain * * * Santa, You know that suitcase I lost in August? I would like that back. manhattan ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-reads-the-doper-mailbag/94583/63 "2001-11-30T13:49:40Z")
PSS: I would also dearly love a spell checker option for the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-reads-the-doper-mailbag/94583/64 "2001-11-30T15:48:43Z")
Dear Santa, I want Sir Mixalot to come to the bank and wake me up and bust a groove and make all the customers get up and do the Humpty Dance and let me do backup vocals and let me spin for him! Oh, yeah, and can I have M.C. Hammer’s pants? Da’Lovin Dj ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-reads-the-doper-mailbag/94583/65 "2001-12-06T16:41:19Z")
Dear Santa, Lederhosen. ## -Kilt wearin’ man Dear Santa, I would like a copy of “101 dirty sex jokes.” If I can use the situations described therein and live them out in real life, I will be the ruler of the TMI thread. ## Best, UncleBeer Dearest Santa, Make me an American. Please. -matt\_mcl ---
**Author:** ![Enchantress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@Enchantress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enchantress)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-reads-the-doper-mailbag/94583/66 "2001-12-06T20:14:13Z")
Dear Santy Clause, I want to sing for the President! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/santa-reads-the-doper-mailbag/94583.md?page=3)