# Sappy Songs You Turn (Punch) Off Instantly **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 16, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904 "2005-09-16T01:58:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Vintage\_1957](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f04885/32.png) [@Vintage\_1957](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vintage_1957)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/61 "2005-09-16T23:34:44Z")
_ **Billy Don’t be A Hero** _ _ **Afternoon Delight** _ _**Escape (The Pina Colada Song)**_ The only three songs on Hell’s jukebox. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/62 "2005-09-16T23:41:04Z")
“Little Green Apples” has caused more riots than any racial or religious reasons. “I Am Woman” - you are suck. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/63 "2005-09-17T00:15:54Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > That remake by Pearl Jam of “Last Kiss”, about some guy whose girlfriend dies in a car accident they got into. The chorus is: > “Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? > The Lord took her away from me. > She’s gone to heaven, so I’ve got to be good, > So I can see my baby when I leave this world.” > > I don’t care if they did it to be “ironic,” or to inflict pain upon us all, or what - I **loathe** this song. _Last Kiss_ is one of those songs that will make me leave the room, no matter what. I don’t care which version. Also, it makes the assumption that she went to heaven. What if she went to Hell? Practically all of the songs listed already qualify, too. The only exception being “I Will Survive”. I don’t really think it’s all that sappy. ---
**Author:** ![Ultraviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/c77e96/32.png) [@Ultraviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ultraviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/64 "2005-09-17T00:21:10Z")
This far into the thread and no mention of the horror that is Bryan Adams? His love songs literally make me nauseous, especially “Everything I do” and “Have you ever really loved a woman”. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/65 "2005-09-17T01:03:10Z")
_Open Arms_ by Journey. Mainly because it was playing when my then-fifteen-year-old sister fell in love with some dweeb. She ran out and bought the album, and proceeded to play it on the family record player, over and over and over and over and over and over… ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/66 "2005-09-17T02:20:47Z")
I can’t believe people are picking on Eric Clapton’s _Tears In Heaven_. The man wrote the song to cope with his 4 year old son having fallen to his death out of an unsecured hotel window… And you think it’s “sappy”? Sappy is overwrought, unwarranted, and can’t possibly be sincere emotion, with torturous lyrics… like the aforementioned _You Light Up My Life_, or REO Speedwagon’s _I Can’t Fight This Feeling_ (no doubt the inspiration for the _The Simpsons_’ Kirk Van Houten’s ballad, _Can I Borrow A Feeling?_). Yeesh. I actually find the “teen tragedy” songs from the 50s and early 60s rather funny. They’re so over the top sincere that they become (to me) ironic. Even better than _Last Kiss_ is _Tell Laura I Love Her_, about a guy who enters a car race to try to win a cash prize to buy a wedding ring for his girlfriend, With Tragic Results. _No one knows what happened that day How his car overturned in flames And as they pulled him from the twisted wreck With his dying breath they could hear him say: Tell Laura I love her… Tell Laura I need her… Tell Laura not to cry, my love for her will never die!_ _sniff_ _sob_ _howl_ ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/67 "2005-09-17T02:26:59Z")
Let’s play Name That Sappy Tune! \*Someone left the cake out in the rain I don’t think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I’ll never have that recipe again! \* ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/68 "2005-09-17T02:46:21Z")
At her wedding this summer, my aunt played some recent country tune… Oh, I found it. > [@Bless the Broken Road by Russell Flatts](#): > > _Every long lost dream lead me to where you are > Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars > Pointing me on my way into your loving arms > This much I know is true > That God blessed the broken road > That led me straight to you_ She stood there and sang it with her husband at the end of the service, with the music playing over the tinny speakers. I just wanted to yell, “Look, this is your moment, not ours. Let’s move on, shall we?” ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/69 "2005-09-17T02:50:29Z")
How could I have forgotten Tell Laura I Love Her? I was 15 or so when that song came out, and I cried and cried. 🙂 How about teen suicide? Poor Patches, came from the wrong side of the tracks. “Patches oh what can I do I swear I’ll always love you It may not be right But I’ll join you tonight Patches I’m coming to you” And angels watching their sons play football? And when the game was over, the coach asked him to tell What was it he was thinkin’ of that made him play so well “You know my dad was blind,” he said, “Tonight he passed Away” “It’s the first time that my father has seen me play.” More ill-fated love: Runnin’ Bear dove in the water Little White Dove did the same And they swam out to each other Through the swirling stream they came As their hands touched and their lips met The ragin’ river pulled them down Now they’ll always be together In that happy hunting ground ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/70 "2005-09-17T13:20:48Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Good bye Michelle my little one (sniff, sniff, sniff…) > > Oh, man, I’m such a hypocrite, because that song actually does pull some heartstrings. (Sounds like cancer, early death, and it reminds me of a friend.) I’m embarrassed to know this, but… _Seasons In The Sun_ is about a man who is about to be executed. He had killed his old friend (since the age of 9 or 10) after the friend had an affair with his wife. Or maybe it was the wife he killed. It was based on a French song, allegedly less sappy, though I’ve never heard it myself. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/71 "2005-09-17T13:30:10Z")
Bobby Goldsboro wrote “Honey” and “Watching Scotty Grow” along with some other sap. I think he’s the reincarnation of a maple tree. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/72 "2005-09-17T13:33:42Z")
> [@bmoak](#): > > Let’s play Name That Sappy Tune! > > \*Someone left the cake out in the rain > I don’t think that I can take it > 'Cause it took so long to bake it > And I’ll never have that recipe again! > \* See post #30! 🙂 And I **like** _Can’t Fight This Feeling_–it’s mine and DH’s song, and it always brings back those wonderful times. Especially now, less than a week before our 20th anniversary! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/73 "2005-09-17T15:17:39Z")
Shouldn’t this thread mention The Carpenters? ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/74 "2005-09-17T15:27:09Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > That remake by Pearl Jam of “Last Kiss”, about some guy “The singer doesn’t mention why his girlfriend has to be pulled out of a car that’s merely stalled, but perhaps she was one of the unusually large teenagers who tend to wedged against the dashboard.” Dave Barry ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/75 "2005-09-17T16:08:14Z")
> [@Dr. Rieux](#): > > “Free Bird” > “From a Distance” > “I’ve Never Been to Me” 1. Free Bird: Worst song in the history of the world, and I have promised myself I will never allow it to enter the portals of my ears in its entirety ever, ever again, even if it should mean that I must jump off a tall building before the end of the song in order to protect myself from that unthinkable fate. 2. From a Distance: A glurgey pile of crap that I successfully avoided for years. One day, due to circumstances beyond my control, I heard the whole thing and realized it was kind of a pretty song, and now I listen to it because it’s kind of fun to feel the tears well up in my eyes when Bette sings “From a distance/ you look like my friend/ even though we are at war.” _snif_ 3. I’ve Never Been to Me: Comedy gold. Any song as unintentionally hilarious as that is okay by me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/76 "2005-09-17T17:03:44Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Alan Jackson’s tooth-decaying “Live Life Like You Were Dying” is a recent horror. Not that it will remotely enrich anyone’s life to have this cleared up --and I shudder to think it was actually first-hand knowledge on my part-- but **Lou** , I believe that’s Tim McGraw. Excellent call, though. The song is an aberrant creation that makes “Seasons in the Sun” look nuanced. ---
**Author:** ![Rock-n-Rolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@Rock-n-Rolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock-n-Rolga)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/77 "2005-09-17T18:01:39Z")
_Playground In My Mind_: I’ve heard actual toddlers’ songs that were infinitely more mature and intelligent than that insipid namby-pamby sing-song drivel. That’s one that shoulda _stayed_ in your mind, pal. _Heeuuurrrrghhhh!_ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/78 "2005-09-17T18:14:26Z")
> [@Mal Adroit](#): > > Not that it will remotely enrich anyone’s life to have this cleared up --and I shudder to think it was actually first-hand knowledge on my part-- but **Lou** , I believe that’s Tim McGraw. > Excellent call, though. The song is an aberrant creation that makes “Seasons in the Sun” look nuanced. I once saw McGraw play part of that “Kill Myself” song on some late-night show. Every time he finished the chorus (“Because I love you/I’m gonna kill myself”), the young girls in the crowd would cheer like crazy! It seems they thought this was the most romantic thing they’d ever heard. I kind of approved of the cheering, but for a very different reason. It was one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/79 "2005-09-17T18:38:22Z")
It is Tim McGraw. My ignorance is fought. There is no justice: the man can marry Faith Hill, while subjecting the rest of the world to songs like “Live Life Like You Were Dying.” ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904/80 "2005-09-17T18:46:22Z")
Can’t believe noone’s mentioned **James Taylor** yet. Every time I hear one of his songs come on the radio, not only do I want to take his guitar and smash it against the wall, I want to take _him_ and smash him against the wall. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sappy-songs-you-turn-punch-off-instantly/321904.md?page=5)