# Sasquatch must be exceedingly clever **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 22, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891 "2013-10-22T01:35:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![knel3030](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecae2f/32.png) [@knel3030](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knel3030)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/1 "2013-10-22T01:35:12Z")
That’s why no one has ever captured or killed one, or found remains, or even got decent footage of one. They are obviously telepathic, dispose of their dead in some ninjalike fashion, and emit some kind of energy that causes camerpeoples hands to shake and get crappy footage. Here’s to you, you magnificent hairy genuises of the woods! ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/2 "2013-10-22T03:37:33Z")
Them, and the jackalope, and the hoop-snake, and the trout-shark, and the dreaded hidebehind – I’ve been stalked through the woods by a hidebehind, and it’s scary! – are all psionic at a low level. They know which direction you’re looking, and aren’t there. Deucedly clever. However, alcohol has an impairing effect on this. Cryptids are much more likely to reveal themselves to people who are lit up like a Christmas tree. So, if you want to see Sasquatch, hit the old Jim Beam, and your chances skyrocket. They are also much more willing to reveal themselves to people who strongly believe in them. It’s a matter of simple courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![tellyworth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@tellyworth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tellyworth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/3 "2013-10-22T05:29:27Z")
They’re getting smarter every year too. Obligatory XKCD: > **[Settled](https://xkcd.com/1235/)** > > Well, we've really only settled the question of ghosts that emit or reflect visible light. Or move objects around. Or make any kind of sound. But that covers all the ones that appear in Ghostbusters, so I think we're good. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/4 "2013-10-22T07:17:15Z")
The best backstory I ever heard was from Six Million Dollar Man. Turns out aliens (humanoids) were studying humanity and they chose to keep their base in the middle of a small mountain. To keep people away, they created a robot Sasquatch to live in the area and scare people away from their location. No one could find him because he slipped into the hidden base when hunters and curious Georges came looking for him. That was Andre the Giant playing the Sasquatch android. ---
**Author:** ![knel3030](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecae2f/32.png) [@knel3030](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knel3030)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/5 "2013-10-22T10:49:57Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > The best backstory I ever heard was from Six Million Dollar Man. Turns out aliens (humanoids) were studying humanity and they chose to keep their base in the middle of a small mountain. To keep people away, they created a robot Sasquatch to live in the area and scare people away from their location. No one could find him because he slipped into the hidden base when hunters and curious Georges came looking for him. > > That was Andre the Giant playing the Sasquatch android. Haha, sounds plausible ---
**Author:** ![knel3030](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecae2f/32.png) [@knel3030](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knel3030)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/6 "2013-10-22T10:53:00Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Them, and the jackalope, and the hoop-snake, and the trout-shark, and the dreaded hidebehind – I’ve been stalked through the woods by a hidebehind, and it’s scary! – are all psionic at a low level. They know which direction you’re looking, and aren’t there. Deucedly clever. > > However, alcohol has an impairing effect on this. Cryptids are much more likely to reveal themselves to people who are lit up like a Christmas tree. So, if you want to see Sasquatch, hit the old Jim Beam, and your chances skyrocket. > > They are also much more willing to reveal themselves to people who strongly believe in them. It’s a matter of simple courtesy. Hmmmm, I could search for Sasquatch whilst concurrently testing a theory that consumption of alcohol produces inebriation. Science! ---
**Author:** ![knel3030](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecae2f/32.png) [@knel3030](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knel3030)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/7 "2013-10-22T10:57:56Z")
> [@tellyworth](#): > > They’re getting smarter every year too. Obligatory XKCD: > > [xkcd: Settled](http://xkcd.com/1235/) This xkcd elicits in me a curious psychophysiological state of diaphragmatic contractions and wheezing colloquialy known, I believe, as laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/8 "2013-10-22T15:55:36Z")
> [@knel3030](#): > > This xkcd elicits in me a curious psychophysiological state of diaphragmatic contractions and wheezing colloquialy known, I believe, as laughter. Perhaps tellyworth is the creator of Hi and Lois. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/9 "2013-10-22T16:52:14Z")
> [@tellyworth](#): > > They’re getting smarter every year too. Obligatory XKCD: > > [xkcd: Settled](http://xkcd.com/1235/) I opened this thread just to link to that XKCD. (Thanks for beating me to it. :)) And I think Randall’s point is well taken: if Nessie or Bigfoot or the Abominable Snowman really existed, evidence to that effect should be piling up fast in an era where practically everyone carries a cell phone, and practically every cell phone has a camera built in. Instead…crickets. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/10 "2013-10-22T18:31:01Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > if Nessie or Bigfoot or the Abominable Snowman really existed, evidence to that effect should be piling up fast in an era where practically everyone carries a cell phone, and practically every cell phone has a camera built in. Instead…crickets. You mean, people take pictures of Nessie or Bigfoot with their smartphones, but the picture shows nothing but CRICKETS?!? _Diabolical_ ingenuity! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/11 "2013-10-22T22:12:31Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > The best backstory I ever heard was from Six Million Dollar Man. Turns out aliens (humanoids) were studying humanity and they chose to keep their base in the middle of a small mountain. To keep people away, they created a robot Sasquatch to live in the area and scare people away from their location. No one could find him because he slipped into the hidden base when hunters and curious Georges came looking for him. > > That was Andre the Giant playing the Sasquatch android. Ha, that was actually what I was thinking of when I opened this thread! ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/12 "2013-10-22T22:32:54Z")
He can’t be THAT clever if he keeps falling for all these pranks: [Messin’ with Sasquatch](http://www.ourbigfoot.com/messin_with_sasquatch_videos.html). ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/13 "2013-10-22T23:31:37Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I opened this thread just to link to that XKCD. (Thanks for beating me to it. :)) And I think Randall’s point is well taken: if Nessie or Bigfoot or the Abominable Snowman really existed, evidence to that effect should be piling up fast in an era where practically everyone carries a cell phone, and practically every cell phone has a camera built in. Instead…crickets. But do hikers in the Himalayas actually carry cell phones? Anyway, I think the point is well taken, but I personally just disagree with his use of the word “conclusively.” (And assuming that ghosts must be visible. :)) ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/14 "2013-10-22T23:50:39Z")
You forgot the steganosaurus, AKA the nobodysaurus. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/15 "2013-10-23T15:49:54Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > But do hikers in the Himalayas actually carry cell phones? Nowadays? Probably, since these days, one’s ‘phone’ is only incidentally a phone, and really a whole bunch of different apps in one small, light gizmo. Unless you’re stuck in 2006 like me, and still carry around a flip phone. But even I would have my phone in my pocket if I visited Loch Ness, for instance. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/16 "2013-10-24T03:25:32Z")
Oh, certainly, Loch Ness is a no-brainer. I was just questioning the utility of a cell phone on a high altitude climb, considering the lack of electric outlets and temperature. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/17 "2013-10-24T05:12:16Z")
But the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot must surely be true. Why else would hotels, restaurants, tourist shops, souvenir shops and authors all be so involved in keeping the stories alive? Oh. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/18 "2013-10-24T06:01:29Z")
Well, apparently they’re capable of [camouflaging their DNA](http://www.the-scientist.com/?articles.view/articleNo/36302/title/-Bigfoot--Samples-Yield-Opossum-DNA/). ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/19 "2013-10-24T14:45:42Z")
I’ve been snipe hunting for 30 years, and I’ve never seen one. I think it’s time to start thinking about something else to hunt. Those jackalopes sound interesting, but maybe too fast fro me to chase. Whaddya think? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891/20 "2013-10-25T14:04:52Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > Oh, certainly, Loch Ness is a no-brainer. I was just questioning the utility of a cell phone on a high altitude climb, considering the lack of electric outlets and temperature. To me, the utility of some sort of small electronic gizmo for recording the day’s events while on any sort of exploration is pretty obvious, as long as one can keep it charged. And while I’m no expert on such things, I’d guess a small solar panel would do the job in the Himalayas. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sasquatch-must-be-exceedingly-clever/671891.md?page=2)