# Satan sez: microwave your baby! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 21, 2007, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923 "2007-05-21T14:17:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/41 "2007-05-21T17:44:25Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Where’s some divine intervention when you need it? [/QUOTE] [Insert “it would be witty if it weren’t so tired” post portraying Divine Intervention and Free Will as opponents in a boxing match **here**.] ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/42 "2007-05-21T18:00:30Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Where’s some divine intervention when you need it? [/QUOTE] Um. Nobody said God would swoop in like Superman and personally fly every Lois Lane out of trouble. Don’t know why you ever thought anybody who is a theist - and not insane - thinks that. ---
**Author:** ![lowbrass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dc4da7/32.png) [@lowbrass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lowbrass)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/43 "2007-05-21T18:03:29Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] “Police said Joshua Mauldin told them he put Ana Marie in the microwave because he was under stress.” Oh, well, that explains everything. I mean who hasn’t tried murdering their child when they were a little stressed? Sometime I wonder where police find the restraint from taking someone like this, putting their head through a wall, and yelling “What the hell is wrong with you?!?!” [/QUOTE] He might very well be mentally ill. There are some mental illnesses that cause people to do irrational things. If that’s the case, I wouldn’t expect him to provide a rational answer as to why he did it. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/44 "2007-05-21T18:25:38Z")
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster] Um. Nobody said God would swoop in like Superman and personally fly every Lois Lane out of trouble. Don’t know why you ever thought anybody who is a theist - and not insane - thinks that. [/QUOTE] All christians believe in miracles. This is just another example of a missed opportunity; a chance to show those darn atheists the light, don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/45 "2007-05-21T18:27:22Z")
Microwaving a baby is Satanic, all right! **ICK!** Everybody knows you can’t cook meat properly in a microwave! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/46 "2007-05-21T18:50:03Z")
This just in: Mauldin claims Satan addressed him using Judy Garlands’ voice: “Microwave your baby with a Broadway mel-o-dee!” ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/47 "2007-05-21T18:50:59Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Microwaving a baby is Satanic, all right! **ICK!** Everybody knows you can’t cook meat properly in a microwave! [/QUOTE] [Post 27](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8595706&postcount=27), for your reading pleasure. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/48 "2007-05-21T18:52:26Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Microwaving a baby is Satanic, all right! **ICK!** Everybody knows you can’t cook meat properly in a microwave! [/QUOTE] Of course not, that’s why you roast it. And then serve it on a bed of baby spinach, with a side of baby carrots. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/49 "2007-05-21T18:53:37Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] [Post 27](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8595706&postcount=27), for your reading pleasure. 😉 [/QUOTE] You could always check out post 18 as well. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/50 "2007-05-21T19:00:31Z")
Hoisted! By my own petard! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/51 "2007-05-21T19:05:17Z")
The great thing about Satan is that he’s responsible for all manner of evil. If we let people off the hook over Satan’s involvement, then we could have no law. For the fucking morons who worship confirmation bias, I’d like to point out that within Christian Theology, **you are responsible for giving in to Satan**. It doesn’t let you off the hook in any way. So qualitatively it’s not a valid excuse. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/52 "2007-05-21T19:12:19Z")
[QUOTE=Little Plastic Ninja] Sheesh. Sometimes I think there should be a license to breed… [/QUOTE] You would trust the same organization that brought us such great hits as the FDA, FEMA and the DMV to preside over breeding rights? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/53 "2007-05-21T19:14:16Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] And, yeah, I agree with the OP: people who microwave meat should be pitted as a general rule. [/QUOTE] No doubt, if you are eating meat that is shitty enough that microwaving it is appropriate for cooking it, I hope it clogs your arteries sooner rather than later. If you’ll excuse me, I am going to go pray for the assistance of St. Darwin. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/54 "2007-05-21T19:27:38Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Of course not, that’s why you roast it. And then serve it on a bed of baby spinach, with a side of baby carrots. [/QUOTE] We’ve got to get you to stop watching “Fine Cooking With Andrea Yates”. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/55 "2007-05-21T19:27:38Z")
[QUOTE=lowbrass] He might very well be mentally ill. There are some mental illnesses that cause people to do irrational things. If that’s the case, I wouldn’t expect him to provide a rational answer as to why he did it. [/QUOTE] Insanity is a foregone conclusion. I can understand being upset at the baby, the ear piercing shriek only inches from your ears can be maddening. The fortitude it requires to still be sensitive (Something I don’t always accomplish) under that stress amazes me. Yet, I haven’t ever had the idea of putting her in the microwave. I got in trouble with a cop for standing too close to a speaker for a few minutes with my baby over the weekend at a parade. I felt like a total tool about it for the past two days. IMO, that’s the difference between sanity and insanity. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/56 "2007-05-21T19:28:13Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Heh. This certainly doesn’t do much for the god argument, does it? [/QUOTE] Damn ! You seem almost delighted. A murdered baby \*and \* you get to bag on God ! You should probably call it a day . Or you could turn on the news. There are places they’ve got death and destruction going on wholesale :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/57 "2007-05-21T19:36:24Z")
I’m trying to remember who exactly ordered his generals to cut open the bellies of pregnant women and dash the babies against the rocks… Jehovah strikes me as the type that’d tell someone to kill their own child. He does have a history of such behavior. Satan needs new PR company ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/58 "2007-05-21T19:36:37Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] Damn ! You seem almost delighted. A murdered baby \*and \* you get to bag on God ! You should probably call it a day . Or you could turn on the news. There are places they’ve got death and destruction going on wholesale :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] I know! These things usually only happen on Twofer Tuesday! Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/59 "2007-05-21T19:38:02Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] Damn ! You seem almost delighted. A murdered baby \*and \* you get to bag on God ! [/QUOTE] For dessert, I’d like for everyone on earth to get terminal cancer. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2007, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923/60 "2007-05-21T19:41:37Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] For dessert, I’d like for everyone on earth to get terminal cancer. [/QUOTE] Thanks for the lovely thought, but I’m on a diet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-sez-microwave-your-baby/404923.md?page=4)