# Satan shits out gold and jewels **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 25, 2019, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183 "2019-02-25T17:13:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/1 "2019-02-25T17:13:44Z")
Or so goes my latest hypothesis, as explained below: First, I happened to start my Dope reading today with [Size of bowel movement](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=871304). Then in [Stupid/Useless rules your work has that nobody follows](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=871248), > [@Stupid/Useless rules your work has that nobody follows](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/stupid-useless-rules-your-work-has-that-nobody-follows/830007/2): > > Holy crap, wtf kind of hell hole do you work in? Satan’s Anus and Sundries Emporium sounds better. That got me thinking, if that’s the word for it: “Satan’s Anus; I wonder what comes out of Satan’s anus?” Now normally the purpose of defecation is to eliminate harmful or unneeded substances from the body; i.e., we expel what’s bad. But Satan is the ultimate evil- nothing can be worse than him. What could he shit that his own self wouldn’t be worse than? In fact, if he expels evil, he would be diminishing himself. The only possible answer is that to maintain a state of maximum evil, he expels any goodness he might happen to have inside him. He excretes negative evil = something good. And that would fit with the old idea of the King of the Underworld being in charge of all the mineral wealth of the infernal regions like the ancient Roman god Pluto. And gold and jewels, while good in themselves, do spark the greed, vanity and envy of the wicked, which in turn fits the idea of Satan delighting in using goodness itself to ensnare souls. So by this hypothesis, Satan shits out gold and jewels. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/2 "2019-02-25T17:25:17Z")
And it also lends itself well to sermons, well, demonizing greed: “You who covet gold and jewels, do you not know that what you desire is Satan’s own excrement? Repent!” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/3 "2019-02-25T17:40:56Z")
Seem legit to me. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/4 "2019-02-25T17:47:15Z")
So [Roger](https://americandad.fandom.com/wiki/The_Golden_Turd) is Satan? ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/5 "2019-02-25T18:15:45Z")
In _The Canterbury Tales_ (1972) directed by Pasolini, Satan excretes monks from his anus, which makes a lot of sense to me. There is a clip of it on YT (“Satan farts the monks”) for those who are curious. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/6 "2019-02-25T18:45:35Z")
I would suggest Satan shits out innocence. There is no greater temptation to evil than a defenseless victim. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/7 "2019-02-25T18:55:38Z")
As explained in _Thor: Ragnarok_, the “[Devil’s Anus](https://youtu.be/ESl80VZUgyk?t=83)” is a particularly nasty wormhole. No known instance of gold and jewels falling from it, though I suppose it’s possible. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/8 "2019-02-26T02:43:25Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > So [Roger](https://americandad.fandom.com/wiki/The_Golden_Turd) is Satan? Especially cursed gold and jewels, so yes quite possibly. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/9 "2019-02-26T02:47:40Z")
> [@Dropo](#): > > In _The Canterbury Tales_ (1972) directed by Pasolini, Satan excretes monks from his anus, which makes a lot of sense to me. There is a clip of it on YT (“Satan farts the monks”) for those who are curious. Watches clip… :eek: Nobody does bizarre like Italian filmmakers. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/10 "2019-02-26T05:12:44Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > As explained in _Thor: Ragnarok_, the “[Devil’s Anus](https://youtu.be/ESl80VZUgyk?t=83)” is a particularly nasty wormhole. No known instance of gold and jewels falling from it, though I suppose it’s possible. 😃 !!Rainbow flavored unicorn poop!! As I read the OP I just knew this was gonna happen, hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/11 "2019-02-26T05:39:15Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I would suggest Satan shits out innocence. There is no greater temptation to evil than a defenseless victim. … aaaaannd scene. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/12 "2019-02-26T15:09:33Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > … aaaaannd scene. Too much? ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/13 "2019-02-26T19:09:10Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Watches clip… > :eek: > > Nobody does bizarre like Italian filmmakers. I would argue that there are 1-2 places close to “The Beltway” which come close daily. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/14 "2019-02-27T18:17:29Z")
But gold and jewels are worthless in Hell. The stores there only take credit cards. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satan-shits-out-gold-and-jewels/830183/15 "2019-02-27T18:27:35Z")
> [@Bumbazine](#): > > But gold and jewels are worthless in Hell. The stores there only take credit cards. They only take Green Stamps.