# Satan's 2nd Great General Council **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 18, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163 "2012-10-18T20:29:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/41 "2013-09-22T14:49:14Z")
```auto ``` ---
**Author:** ![MN\_Maenad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@MN\_Maenad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MN_Maenad)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/42 "2013-09-22T17:09:37Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Robert E. Heinlein. Nah, L. Ron Hubbard. Much more destruction with his “vision”. I think this topic should be brought back every October, leading up to Halloween. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/43 "2013-09-22T17:59:21Z")
[Francis Parker Yockey](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Parker_Yockey) was an American who worked as a review-attorney for the Nuremberg Trials, and there saw the Face of Evil – in the **presiding generals**. He then wrote a fascist treatise, [_Imperium_](http://www.amazon.com/Imperium-The-Philosophy-History-Politics/dp/061550597X). An American intellectual who thought the wrong side won WWII – Satan **needs** a dude with that kind of vision! Another fascist intellectual (and mystic occultist, yet) who would be helpful here: [Julius Evola](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Evola). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/44 "2013-09-22T19:21:03Z")
The Colonel. Whether it’s the KFC guy or the Elvis one won’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![2L82Pray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/ee7513/32.png) [@2L82Pray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2L82Pray)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/45 "2013-09-22T21:02:49Z")
Martin Cooper—Inventor of the Cell phone Everyone involved in Inventing the Internet, including Al Gore Steve Russell, A.S. Douglas, William Higinbotham, or whomever invented video games since there’s so much debate on that one Steve Jobs Bill Gates They’ll serve little trophies at the banquet because Everyone is a Winner! And instead of a speach and a Q&A session afterward, everyone will just text each other and FB because actual human interaction is just too damn hard to deal with ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/46 "2013-09-22T22:06:46Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > As a co-conspirator to the moral destruction of the entire world… Is that how we describe the Bulwer-Lytton? ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/47 "2013-09-22T23:04:35Z")
[Torquemada?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom%C3%A1s_de_Torquemada) If there is to be Hitler, Reagan and Stalin, the council ought to serve big steins of beer along with those huge, salty pretzels; lots of jellybeans; and cabbage gruel along with a raw potato which you could boil yourself if you had the wherewithal. And burritos, to piss off Torquemada. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/48 "2013-09-22T23:23:30Z")
Art Modell ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/49 "2013-09-22T23:48:07Z")
I suggest Pol Pot. Just to add a bit of empathy to the group…and then to kill all of the others as “intellectuals”. This works for whoever else is on the panel. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/50 "2013-09-23T02:05:58Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > [Torquemada?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom%C3%A1s_de_Torquemada) [Face it, you can’t Torquemada anything!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZegQYgygdw) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/51 "2013-09-23T07:37:56Z")
I actually wouldn’t recruit Hitler…because, early successes aside, he was a _failure_. He _blew it_ in the end.\* It’d be like hiring M. Night Shyamalan to direct your next big Hollywood blockbuster. You might be better off with Lenin, or Mao. Perhaps even more influential—aside from _acute_ body count, maybe—in the long run, and at least held in enough esteem that they ended up as enshrined mummies, not moldering piles of ashes flushed into the sewer. Lessie… •[Al-Hakim bi-Amr Allah](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Hakim_bi-Amr_Allah), I remember from an old Riverworld anthology, with an interesting interpretation of his reign’s motivations—deliberately _trying_ to cause cataclysmic religious strife, sweeping away the old and starting fresh from a “Year Zero”—but it’s really unfair to include the real-life (er, dead?) version on the council, for any number of reasons. •[John R. Brinkley](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_R._Brinkley), pioneer of radio advertising and goat-testicle transplants, might be good for a charismatic propagandist. (Goebbels and P.T. Barnum are a bit obvious—and the latter might not be evil enough.) •[Anthony Comstock](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Comstock) and/or [Fredric Wertham](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fredric_Wertham) for the censorship planning angle—hey, wasn’t it Dante who said that art is the grandchild of god? As for activities, I suggest a rousing demonstration of executions and orgies (with the same participants. In that order.), with banquets planned by master of ceremonies [Vlad Tepes.](http://www.donlinke.com/images/Vlad/Impale_large-x01.GIF) \*Ba dum _bum_. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/52 "2013-09-23T16:28:24Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > I actually wouldn’t recruit Hitler…because, early successes aside, he was a _failure_. He _blew it_ in the end.\* It’d be like hiring M. Night Shyamalan to direct your next big Hollywood blockbuster. Then we find out that…Hitler was a Jew! And the Holocaust was one big self-loathing! What a twist! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/53 "2013-09-25T03:26:01Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Then we find out that…Hitler was a Jew! And the Holocaust was one big self-loathing! What a twist! [The Master Speaks.](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/797/was-hitler-part-jewish) ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/54 "2013-09-25T08:33:48Z")
> [@Uther\_Penguin](#): > > Would it be too mean to nominate Fritz Haber? > [Fritz Haber - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz_Haber#World_War_I) > He invented chemical warfare with poison gas and oversaw the development of Zyklon A. Further, he developed the Haber(-Bosch) process to create artificial nitrogen products like fertilizer and explosives. Just by this, he prolonged World War One by over three years, since Germany would have run out of stocked saltpeter by the Summer of 1915. Zombie or not, Zyklon A was AFAIK used solely to kill insects and other vermin. It seems disingenuous to link it to the people-killing Zyklon B, and besides, as a Jew I doubt he would’ve been fond of its later use. And it’s now evil to make nitrogen? I blame John Dalton for the atomic bomb then. > [@sunstone](#): > > I suggest Pol Pot. Just to add a bit of empathy to the group…and then to kill all of the others as “intellectuals”. This works for whoever else is on the panel. It took far too long to mention this shining human being. The NVA may have been the bad guys in Vietnam, but invade Cambodia and they look like paragons of virtue by comparison. But “empathy”? “Intellectual”? Those sound like big capitalist oppressor words. I bet you wear glasses! L. Ron Hubbard Ayn Rand Thomas Edison Henry Ford Trofim Lysenko for indirectly killing people due to a bad theory Mao Zedong for the same, plus all the pesky murder The guy who put the Bomp (in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp) ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/55 "2013-09-25T13:46:49Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Actually that episode (actual title _The Devil and Homer Simpson_) has a pretty good lineup for the Council: > > Benedict Arnold > Lizzy Borden > Richard Nixon > John Wilkes Booth > Blackbeard the Pirate > John Dillinger > **the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers.** As a fan from that era, I’ve had to explain to friends and family why the Flyers were on the list. They were so bad that Rob Zombie is planning on making a [movie](http://robzombie.com/2013/07/zombie-to-take-on-bruins-flyers-rivalry-in-new-hockey-movie/#more-11542) about them 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/56 "2013-09-25T16:20:17Z")
Cher Yes, I know she’s not dead. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/57 "2013-09-26T14:27:26Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > As a fan from that era, I’ve had to explain to friends and family why the Flyers were on the list. They were so bad that Rob Zombie is planning on making a [movie](http://robzombie.com/2013/07/zombie-to-take-on-bruins-flyers-rivalry-in-new-hockey-movie/#more-11542) about them 🙂 Not that it matters, but in retrospect, I meant “bad” as in evil. They did win a couple Stanley Cups around then. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163/58 "2013-09-26T14:47:17Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Henry Ford For the antisemitism, or for today’s American strip-malled sprawlscape? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-2nd-great-general-council/638163.md?page=2)