# Satan's ass – and what you'd like to shove up there **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 29, 1999, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705 "1999-10-29T06:55:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/1 "1999-10-29T06:55:00Z")
Is it just me or does Satan and heatherlee have a major ass fetish going on? Now, since this is so mundane and pointless, let’s share the fun things we would like to insert into his anal cavity. I have an old 1965 Buick Special that might fit there. Come on, folks, back me up: what would you like to shove up the Dark Lord’s Butt? Be creative! Be deep! Be sick and twisted! * * * Best! Byz ---
**Author:** ![Temujin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Temujin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Temujin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/2 "1999-10-29T07:15:00Z")
First, you’d have to pull out his head … (Sorry, couldn’t resist 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![mikan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mikan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/3 "1999-10-29T08:41:00Z")
The New York Yankees. And their Buicks. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/4 "1999-10-29T09:30:00Z")
Well, if I’m “backing you up” my mind isn’t on Satans ass. 😉 Beyond that, I’d guess the toe of my boots the best I can think of. I think I’ll defer to SqrlCub on this one :D. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/5 "1999-10-29T09:56:00Z")
Temujin – I already covered that. He came back with the thought that he had already removed his own head and found mine there. I wondered why my smoke kept going out… you have to be more creative than that! How about a Howitzer? I’ve felt that one was up my ass, maybe he would feel one up his too. * * * Best! Byz ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/6 "1999-10-29T10:04:00Z")
Al Gore & Dan Quayle. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/7 "1999-10-29T10:57:00Z")
Even though this was supposed to be in fun, it reeks of a personal attack to me. Sent to the pit. * * * Saint Eutychus [www.disneyshorts.org](http://www.disneyshorts.org) ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/8 "1999-10-29T15:33:00Z")
You know what Byz? I thought you were intelligent and realized things. I guess not… That post turned into a lot of things. Among them: - An open-minded discussion about how a person would feel if their loving partner wanted to do something sexually that the other person did not. - How others who DID do things more for their partners benefit feel afterward. - It peripherally discussed how some guys would see this as “homosexual behavior,” and a conversation came out of that. - The parameters of a relationship OUTSIDE of the bedroom, and issues of trust. - Humor. It was funny. People laughed. So forgive me for putting some personality behind issues like this. Forgive me for letting some people think less of me while it opened up a dialogue for others. I’ll bet my quandry made other people THINK. But all you could think about was my ass. And you wondered why I said YOU were up there… * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Myndephuquer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@Myndephuquer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myndephuquer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/9 "1999-10-29T15:44:00Z")
In the spirit of JillGat, would you guys put a link to the original posting – I don’t have an ass fetish (I don’t think ::hey, coworker, touch my ass:: hmmm, nothing. I guess I don’t), but (haha) I would like to know what you’re talking about. Sate – I used to live in zay-boo-lon ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/10 "1999-10-29T16:11:00Z")
Just remember, you asked. [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001966.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001966.html) * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/11 "1999-10-29T18:17:00Z")
Oh, man. I feel like shit! This really was supposed to be a total joke. I didn’t mean to slight you. That’s why I opened this in MPSIMS. I didn’t want this in the pit. I like you. I thought you knew that. I like to joke around with you. I thought you knew that too. That thread got a lot of people to talk about a sexual issue that usually isn’t discussed. I’m glad you posted it. My post was just a joke. A “hey, what’s the wildest thing you can think of” kind of a deal. I really didn’t mean to piss you or anyone else off. I’m not trying to take away from the honest discussion in that thread. I thought I was being funny and it blew up in my face. In the future, I’ll write you first before I try to make a joke at your expense. I really didn’t think you were going to take this seriously. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/12 "1999-10-29T18:33:00Z")
Well, now that Byz has gotten THAT off her chest, back to the fun! A full set of aluminum-and-acrylic PATIO FURNITURE! * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/13 "1999-10-29T18:56:00Z")
Oh, I’m sorry too, Byzantine. I didn’t mean to slight you… It just seems that you have been preoccupied by my ass lately, and that is a bit… unsettling. On top of that, I really think I offer more to this board than fidder such as this, and I really hate the thought of being stereotyped as someone who can only be a funny guy all the time. I’d hug ya… But I’m worried that you’ll grab my ass! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Myndephuquer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@Myndephuquer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myndephuquer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/14 "1999-10-29T19:34:00Z")
Thank you, Unka Beer!! ---
**Author:** ![Myndephuquer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@Myndephuquer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myndephuquer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/15 "1999-10-29T19:35:00Z")
Nasty!! Yuck!! ☹ I was warned, though ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/16 "1999-10-29T19:52:00Z")
Hey, I hope my post wasn’t out of line (last entry on the MPSIMS thread you started on this general subject). It was just that I was thinking over what had been posted, and that song started playing on the radio, and I cracked up! 🙂 ============= Uh, if you did suffer some hurt feelings, you know what you can do with them!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/17 "1999-10-29T21:14:00Z")
OooooH! Ooooooh! I know! How about a pinwheel? Or a sparkler? Or, maybe a bubble-wand, so when he farts, istead of it being gross, it’d be, like “Oooooo…purty bubbles”. \< looks around…hangs head \> Sorry…I’ve been at work for 12 hours today… How about a bottle rocket? * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/18 "1999-10-29T21:32:00Z")
Satan wrote: > [@](#): > > Oh, I’m sorry too, Byzantine. I didn’t mean to slight you… It just seems that you have been preoccupied by my ass lately, and that is a bit… unsettling. Well, not if it’s a really _cute_ ass. Incidentally, this thread reminds me of an Eddy Murphy song (!) I heard on Dr. Demento a decade or so ago, titled “Boogie in Your Butt”. The lyrics went along the lines of: \Put a tree in your butt, Put a bumble bee in your butt, Put a tin can in your butt, Put a little man in your butt …\ ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/19 "1999-10-29T22:05:00Z")
How’s about we light the Washington Monument on fire and shove it up there? A hungry badger? A running rototiller? That vehicle that “Shredder” used to have that could tunnel through the earth? (c’mon, Ninja Turtle fans, you know what I’m talking about!) ## P.S. I have no problem with you, Satan. I just think this is funny and would say the same things regardless of who we were talking about. The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/20 "1999-10-29T22:08:00Z")
Myndephuquer: Zebulon, eh? I used to work there… I lived in Wendell for a while as well. You’ll be the only person here who gets this joke then: There was a club in Zebulon called Led Zebulon. One day, in a moment of drunken lucidity, it came to me that the house song should be “Wendell Levy Breaks.” :: rimshot :: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705.md?page=2)