# Satan's ass – and what you'd like to shove up there **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 29, 1999, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705 "1999-10-29T06:55:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/21 "1999-10-29T23:51:00Z")
Pahlutt, here, 'bout saicks mahls no’theeest of Z-town. Led Zebulon has been closed down now. (true) In fact they’re replacing it with this tower… it’s gonna be called the Stairway to… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/22 "1999-10-30T00:44:00Z")
Just for fun, I’de like to put a pack of rabid weasles up Satans butt. Also: a slinky a remote control an eggbeater the Pillsbury Doughboy a Christmas Cactus an oil lamp a fortune cookie Zette * * * A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes. [Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/23 "1999-10-30T01:48:00Z")
Jesus… ---
**Author:** ![Zeb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/57b2e6/32.png) [@Zeb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeb)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/24 "1999-10-30T02:49:00Z")
_blink_ Someone call me? ---
**Author:** ![Zeb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/57b2e6/32.png) [@Zeb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeb)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/25 "1999-10-30T02:52:00Z")
Reference to Zebulon, not JC. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/26 "1999-10-30T04:39:00Z")
“Purty Bubbles-” further proof that teh funniest stuff happens when people have no business being awake. Ted Turner, Bill Gates, and George Steinbrenner. Hey, they gotta shoved up **someone** ’s ass. Might as well be Beelzebub. * * * JMcC, San Francisco [http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html](http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html) “Hear the voices in my head, I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/27 "1999-10-30T08:26:00Z")
Anyone remember those “fuzzy” fiber optic lamps? they looked like porcupines, and the tips of all the spikes were lit up? (the cheap version are those flashlights with the handful of fiber optics at the end) wellll… It’d look so purdy stickin’ outta Satan’s butt! 'Specially if he posed _just so_… * * * – O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/28 "1999-10-30T13:58:00Z")
**elelle:** You really want to shove Jesus up Satan’s ass? * * * The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![Nickrz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@Nickrz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nickrz)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 1999, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/29 "1999-10-30T14:04:00Z")
Damn, and to think at one time _I_ was his biggest pain the the ass. You fickle fuck, you. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/30 "1999-11-01T20:05:00Z")
> [@](#): > > There was a club in Zebulon called Led Zebulon. One day, in a moment of drunken lucidity, it came > to me that the house song should be “Wendell Levy Breaks.” > > ``` > :: rimshot :: > > ``` Considering the topic at hand, mightn’t that be ::rimjob::? I know. Please. Help me. * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/31 "1999-11-01T20:09:00Z")
Um…me? 😉 Just kidding. I swear. Please don’t beat me up, Heather. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/32 "1999-11-01T21:16:00Z")
Well, Drain, if she isn’t using it, she’s got this _amazingly_ penis-shaped lump of latex to hit you with. * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![E1skeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3da27b/32.png) [@E1skeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E1skeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/33 "1999-11-01T22:30:00Z")
Ummm… Wall… forget it. That’d be WAY too much. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/34 "1999-11-01T23:00:00Z")
Still got room in there Satan? Bend over and open wide, here comes… The United States House of Representatives. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/35 "1999-11-02T00:35:00Z")
It would probably sound too much like pathetic flirting if I said “my finger” wouldn’t it… * * * – O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/36 "1999-11-02T01:16:00Z")
UncleBeer wrote: > [@](#): > > Still got room in there Satan? Bend over and open wide, here comes… The United States House of Representatives. But the Senate is where you find “assholes” like Pat Buchanan and Jesse Helms! See the Span in Satan’s butt! ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/37 "1999-11-02T06:01:00Z")
Oh, wow, there is certainly a lot of stuff up there, isn’t there? Here, I have one. Stand back, everybody. ratatatat kabing pow zwang pop boom krash rattle rattle boing mooooooooooo kerflush kablam smack kaping vroom sizzle crack fwoosh ting ting ting kabang kabong kaboom zwink bam poof bang boom krang kaboom kawang wang wang wang wangwangwangwangwang… There, how do you like it? It’s a life-size statue of Ulysses S. Grant riding a horse! Oh, no, it’s coming loose! KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH! Shit. * * * Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty! ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/38 "1999-11-02T06:12:00Z")
All the posts about trolls or the moderators knowing nothing. * * * JMcC, San Francisco [http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html](http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html) “Hear the voices in my head, I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring” ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/39 "1999-11-02T16:37:00Z")
What’s your point, jjtm? * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![TheDoll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@TheDoll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheDoll)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705/40 "1999-11-02T16:40:00Z")
Among other things not to be mentioned…Pop Rocks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ass-and-what-youd-like-to-shove-up-there/2705.md?page=3)