# Satan's minions at work in Hershey, Pa. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 21, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620 "2003-10-21T01:40:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/1 "2003-10-21T01:40:05Z")
Which brain-numbed whore-monger at Hershey’s decided it would be a brilliant idea to change from the familiar foil and paper-sleeve-wrapped chocolate to an environmentally unsound, heat-sealed plastic wrapped atrocity against nature? Did anyone test this new wrapper out? Maybe give it to an over-tired dad trying to make s’mores in the dark for 15 famished cub scouts? Of course not, you bastardous louts! I pitched the tents. Led a nature hike. Get 'em all back to camp… I didn’t lose even one scout! I got the fire going. I got the marshmallow roasting sticks whittled. I even fed them a square meal. Then I got the marshmallows open fine. I even opened the graham crackers. Then… stymied. Do the kids thank me for my fine efforts? No. All I hear for the rest of the weekend is, “Kyle’s dad can’t even open a candy bar!” I hope Nestle’s nukes Hershey of the face of the Earth. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/2 "2003-10-21T02:20:33Z")
I know! Those things are such a pain in the ass. What was so wrong with the two-step paper-on-foil process? And long time no see, **Chief**. ---
**Author:** ![Catalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Catalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catalyst)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/3 "2003-10-21T02:53:02Z")
New wrappers? I’ve not seen these; anyone have a photo? ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/4 "2003-10-21T03:18:07Z")
Chief! ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/5 "2003-10-21T03:18:45Z")
Ha ha! Kyle’s dad can’t even open a candy bar! ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/6 "2003-10-21T06:04:02Z")
The candy bar that I can’t open is yet to be produced. Never get in the way of a girl and her chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/7 "2003-10-21T10:36:42Z")
Like Kallessa, I have no problems opening these little sheets of joy. Really, Chief, it’s not that hard. ::MsRobyn avoids using a smiley because she values the use of her limbs:: Robin ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/8 "2003-10-21T11:54:28Z")
You know it’s a bad design when they have to put DIRECTIONS ON THE WRAPPER! As with **Chief** it was a s’more incedent. But with diligent research, I opened 5 of the 6 bars without any trouble. (There’s a cirlce on the back that says “hold here” and on the flap there’s a spot that says “pull”.) The sixth succumbed to my Swiss Army Knife. (1,002 uses now!) And you can’t refold the foil and stick it back in the sleeve for a Hilarious Prank either. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/9 "2003-10-21T11:59:56Z")
What, nobody there had a Scout Knife? Just slit the plastic. Sheesh. Hang on! YOU WHITTLED MARSHMELLOW STICKS! You HAD a knife. Oh for the love of… BE PREPAIRED damn it! ---
**Author:** ![gyt\_fx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@gyt\_fx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gyt_fx)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/10 "2003-10-21T14:13:24Z")
Man… I haven’t seen these new contraptions either. Does anyone have a picture of this item that is so famboozling to some adults? ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/11 "2003-10-21T15:34:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Satan’s minions at work in Hershey, Pa. **Chief** , if you had ever been to Hershey Park, this would not surprise you. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/12 "2003-10-21T16:47:19Z")
My husband is having a shit fit over the new wrappers. And he doesn’t camp, either. It’s all about opening it (in your recliner), breaking off some squares, and NEATLY WRAPPING THE REMAINING CANDY BAR IN THE FOIL. Now some of you may think him crazy for saving part of the candy bar to begin with, but this is the way he operates, and he’s hopping-fucking-mad. We’d boycott, but he likes the candy too much. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/13 "2003-10-21T16:47:22Z")
You can’t get into the chocolate? _ **YOU CAN’T GET INTO THE CHOCOLATE???** _ Amateurs. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/14 "2003-10-21T16:54:00Z")
[Cartman] Haaaaaaaaaave you ever met my friend Kyle’s dad he can’t eve open a candy bar [/Cartman] ---
**Author:** ![nobrainer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nobrainer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nobrainer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/15 "2003-10-21T17:08:59Z")
You’re supposed to open them first? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/16 "2003-10-21T17:29:41Z")
You’re supposed to save some for later? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/17 "2003-10-21T17:44:37Z")
You’re supposed to eat them and not melt them into anatomically-correct chocolate figurines? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/18 "2003-10-21T19:09:51Z")
They’re messing with our candy again! This should be in the Pit, next to my [LifeSavers](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=215291) rant. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/19 "2003-10-22T07:19:09Z")
You know, I don’t mean to cast aspersions here, but our big chocolate company (Freia) started with the one-piece wrappers this spring, and it took my three-year-old son about _fifteen seconds_ to figure out how to break in. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-minions-at-work-in-hershey-pa/208620/20 "2003-10-23T16:19:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*It’s all about opening it (in your recliner), breaking off some squares, and NEATLY WRAPPING THE REMAINING CANDY BAR IN THE FOIL. > > Now some of you may think him crazy for saving part of the candy bar to begin with, but this is the way he operates, and he’s hopping-fucking-mad. We’d boycott, but he likes the candy too much. \*\* He’s not crazy. That’s the way I do it too. Then again, I’m one of the freaks who likes to keep candy bars in the fridge, too. Why does Hershey feel the need to mess with perfection?