# Satan's Ten Commandments for Parents **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 2, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922 "2016-07-02T15:26:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2016, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/21 "2016-07-03T21:43:33Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Ya ain’t 'sposed to let the future little wimmins dress like whores… no booty shorts or tight tank tops or mini skirts with 6" heels. As for the soon-to-be Head of the House, he can’t paint his nails like some gayrod or have hippie hair or wear guy liner. You know, just like what all the other kids are doing at 8. Ah, got it. I was confused because none of the girls in my daughters’ schools dressed like this. However, I suppose the deviated prevert who wrote these rules must think about little girls dressing like this all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2016, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/22 "2016-07-03T22:41:52Z")
Wouldn’t it be better to just trade your child’s eternal soul for riches for yourself today? That way you don’t have to worry about what the kid does/does not do in the future, and at the same time you pocket a lot of wealth and power now. It is Win/Win. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/23 "2016-07-03T23:01:35Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Hmm. For number 4 the day care center we took our kids to was in a church. But it was a moderate Presbyterian Church, so probably not seen as Christian in the eyes of these nitwits. > I don’t quite get 6. Exactly how would kids not talk or dress like other students? Other girls in the class wore dresses, did that mean my daughters were not allowed to? And a boy wearing a dress would violate this commandment nicely. > As for 7, I substituted “you shall teach your children logic so they can realize that religion is mostly nonsense and fundamental Christianity is totally bullshit.” > Worked pretty well. > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > It sounds like another way to create little robots with no minds of their own. Look at it this way: in the view of these guys, the ultimate goal is for the little darlings to spend ETERNITY doing nothing except praising the creator of the universe. Do you have any idea how lo-o-o-o-ng ETERNITY is? Imagine the line at the DMV, multiplied by the length of time it takes to drive across Texas, multiplied by the amount of time it takes to get through the TSA line at the airport. Well it’s longer than that. Nope, longer. Hahaha, you’re not even close. Longer. It’s ETERNITY; it NEVER ends. If my children were facing that, the kindest thing I could do for them would be to turn them into robots. Robots don’t experience ennui, so it wouldn’t be torture to them. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2016, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/24 "2016-07-03T23:28:40Z")
> [@spamforbrains](#): > > That’s an odd list. I would have guessed satan was in favor of spanking, would encourage kids to start dating long before age 16, and encourage parents to keep their kids at home (no day care, no school) so they wouldn’t be exposed to public morals. There’s a “spare the rod, spoil the child” movement among some Christian conservatives. > **[Not spanking your children is a failure of fatherhood](https://www.christiantoday.com/article/not.spanking.your.children.is.a.failure.of.fatherhood/47915.htm)** > > Disciplining children physically is biblical and sometimes necessary. ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2016, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/25 "2016-07-03T23:55:05Z")
> [@](#): > > There’s a “spare the rod, spoil the child” movement among some Christian conservatives. Well of course there is. The entire point of religion is to control people, and if brainwashing young children doesn’t do it, you’ll have to beat them into compliance. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/26 "2016-07-04T00:03:06Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > There’s a “spare the rod, spoil the child” movement among some Christian conservatives. > > [Not spanking your children is a failure of fatherhood](http://www.christiantoday.com/article/not.spanking.your.children.is.a.failure.of.fatherhood/47915.htm) This online magazine appears to be British, which puts another spin on it. BTW, the “rod” mentioned in this context is a shepherd’s hook, used to guide the sheep along the path, NOT to beat or torture them. At the bottom of the page was a link to this story. Interesting. > **[Financiers of Christian movies indicted for conspiring to defraud investors...](https://www.christiantoday.com/article/fake.financiers.of.christian.movies.indicted.for.conspiring.to.defraud.investors.of.12.million/89670.htm)** > > Three men who claimed to be movie financiers were indicted Tuesday for allegedly defrauding investors of $12 million given to fund at least two Christian film productions starring Harry Connick Jr., Willie Nelson and Nicholas Cage. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/27 "2016-07-04T00:17:40Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > BTW, the “rod” mentioned in this context is a shepherd’s hook, used to guide the sheep along the path, NOT to beat or torture them. But the proverb is specifically and explicitly about discipline, not guidance. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/28 "2016-07-04T02:39:49Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > BTW, the “rod” mentioned in this context is a shepherd’s hook, used to guide the sheep along the path, NOT to beat or torture them. [I don’t _think_ so.](http://biblehub.com/proverbs/13-24.htm) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/29 "2016-07-04T03:49:18Z")
Czarcasm, I don’t see anything in any of those quotes about beating children. Some people do interpret “correction” or “discipline” as “visible injuries”, but really, they’re about teaching, not punishment. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/30 "2016-07-04T12:43:19Z")
Praise Satin. Velour is the antichrist, velvet her handmaiden. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/31 "2016-07-04T12:54:47Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Czarcasm, I don’t see anything in any of those quotes about beating children. Some people do interpret “correction” or “discipline” as “visible injuries”, but really, they’re about teaching, not punishment. I don’t see anything in any of the versions listed that lean towards your “shepherd” crook" interpretation. There’s a lot about “discipline” and “chastisement”, but nothing about “guidance”. Where did the idea that it meant “shepherd’s crook” come from? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/32 "2016-07-04T13:19:12Z")
So I shouldn’t have taken my daughter to daycare. I should have gone on welfare, perhaps, so that we could survive while my disable-vet husband went to school? Yeah, being on the dole for no good reason is very Christian. And not only did my daughter attend public school, she teaches in public school! What a terrible mother I was/am!!! Sadly, I have a BIL who would consider all of this to be good advice. The one with the son who he threw out of the house because of smoking and drinking. Looks like all that good Baptist upbringing served him well. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/33 "2016-07-04T13:30:12Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I don’t see anything in any of the versions listed that lean towards your “shepherd” crook" interpretation. There’s a lot about “discipline” and “chastisement”, but nothing about “guidance”. Where did the idea that it meant “shepherd’s crook” come from? Agreed. One of the translations even uses “spank.” It’s historically been interpreted and corporal punishment (in English; can’t speak to other languages). But as social mores change, more “acceptable” translations have to be developed/argued for/popularized. Especially with a rod as the implement - many people who support open-hand spanking don’t support using anything that would be called a “rod” being used. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/34 "2016-07-04T14:39:16Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > So where would that leave Mary & Joseph? They were married by age 16 (though Joseph might have been a couple years older). > > If they hadn’t, would baby Jesus have been a bastard? > [@](#): > > Among the rest there was a man named Joseph, of the house and family of David, and a person very far advanced in years … – Mary 4:1 (from _The Lost Books of the Bible_) ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/35 "2016-07-04T15:07:50Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Czarcasm, I don’t see anything in any of those quotes about beating children. Some people do interpret “correction” or “discipline” as “visible injuries”, but really, they’re about teaching, not punishment. > [@](#): > > Hebrews 12:6-8 – For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and whips every son whom he receives… I guess one can “interpret” the Bible however they want to … ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/36 "2016-07-04T15:11:18Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > I guess one can “interpret” the Bible however they want to … Maybe it _actually_ means “whip up a nice desert topping”? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/37 "2016-07-04T15:16:50Z")
> [@Tzigone](#): > > Agreed. One of the translations even uses “spank.” It’s historically been interpreted and corporal punishment (in English; can’t speak to other languages). But as social mores change, more “acceptable” translations have to be developed/argued for/popularized. Especially with a rod as the implement - many people who support open-hand spanking don’t support using anything that would be called a “rod” being used. I am ambivalent about these sort of translation issues, normally I’d say there is no need to bowdlerize the text; but, while _ **I** _ can tell it is making a poetic allusion to disciplining, I also understand how with the rise of literalist fundamentalism wherein it could be seen as an actual command to beat with rods and whips, there may be felt a need to translate the sense rather than the words. > [@watchwolf49](#): > > – Mary 4:1 (from _The Lost Books of the Bible_) Joseph’s age is entirely non canonical in either direction. As is Mary’s, come to think of it. Old tradition is to make him an elder gent. (that in turn sounds like a facile way to retcon the passages about other siblings of Jesus with the doctrine of Mary’s perpetual virginity, and explain his disappearance somewhere between when Jesus is 12 and 30) ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/38 "2016-07-04T15:17:50Z")
“Chastens” means to make your child buy something over the internet with Dad’s credit card … because, you know, Dad worked late the evening the child had to pitch the final game of the championship. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2016, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922/39 "2016-07-04T21:09:09Z")
Thou shall not teach your children to accept crap from bigots. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satans-ten-commandments-for-parents/758922.md?page=1)